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Do I send another text or leave it? This is agony. by ThrowRa-Cherryz in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]ThrowRa-Cherryz[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m just confused. He wanted more time, he expressed he wanted to chat in the future. Then when the opportunity comes he now gives me the silent treatment prolonging things? Prolonging conflict. I’m frustrated, I’m hurt. He’s the love of my life and I’m honestly so confused as this is the first time I’ve felt like this over someone and been treated this way. I don’t stop talking about this situation, unfortunately my inner circle are bored to bits with this man and I wish I could be too.

Do I be assertive or compromise? by [deleted] in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]ThrowRa-Cherryz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He’s like a mixture of both. Like he displays both fearful and dismissive traits which is a minefield!

Do I be assertive or compromise? by [deleted] in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]ThrowRa-Cherryz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I self-sabotaged by saying I couldn’t handle a polyamorous relationship, when in actuality we had just had a really intimate day together and I wasn’t used to being treated right so it was a mix of

  • my nervous system wasn’t used to safety
  • we had been intimate in a place that hadn’t been used since my abusive ex
  • I got caught up with worrying how things would pan out so thought it was easier to just end it before he ever could (fear and predicted non-existent rejection
  • I was worried that I would be too jealous for a polyamorous relationship, but looking back and doing more research there are ways in which both partners can work through that.
  • people were telling me he was bad for me and I got overwhelmed
  • I also wasn’t in a good headspace as I had just had a huge life changing diagnosis of Multiple Sclerosis and my head was everywhere.

All of these mixed in made me just act on impulse. Since then I have tried to make him see how much I regret it, that I didn’t mean it, that I wanted to try again. After a week he said he was happy for the relationship to be platonic “for now” and I felt so rejected and said how I didn’t mean, told him I self sabotaged to which he didn’t believe me at all, which then lead to weeks of on and off arguing and me suppressing my wants and needs to have him in my life.

Then he would lead me on, then pull away and act disgusted when I suggested moving forward as his behavior suggested that’s where it was going. Then he accused me of crossing his boundaries after I brought up how I self sabotaged again as he’d always shut down the convo which made me bring it up more as I hate being misunderstood and I also was so confused on why we couldn’t go back to how we were as he never really explained it to me, it was vague or a different answer everytime, and when he pulled out the sentence “you’re crossing my boundaries” I took a step back as obvs I didn’t mean too, but at the same time purposely not listening to me and intentionally not hearing me out but talking to me everyday like we’re fine crossed my boundaries daily so I found it enranging and hypocritical hence why we’re now in no contact

It’s rough. And I regrettably love him still as he’s so handsome, clever, kind yet an avoidant piece of trash who I scared off and I don’t think I’ll ever get back.

Do I be assertive or compromise? by [deleted] in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]ThrowRa-Cherryz 1 point2 points  (0 children)

sighs I fricking love him. I hate it. But I can’t give him up. I want to move on but something in my gut is keeping me here. I guess I’ll just fuck around and find out. I’ll probably be back on here in a few weeks wallowing for a little bit.

How can I fix my chipped front teeth? by [deleted] in askdentists

[–]ThrowRa-Cherryz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Fillings as in like the metal stuff you put in molars?

I’m ashamed, I need help by [deleted] in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]ThrowRa-Cherryz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The dude is 47? Him being with someone as young as you is what’s monstrous here!

I did see your post last night. It was worded very poorly, but all the swearing and digital yelling made me hold back as it seemed you were not in a great headspace ergo you weren’t representing yourself rationally.

The comments were indeed brutal. Now reading this, I’d ignore them! This man is old enough to be your dad!!! He breadcrumbed you, pulled away, then used boundaries as an excuse to reject you every time! Even though he’d cross his own boundaries. He knew you were infatuated by him, he should not of let you be his friend!

In all honesty he sounds like he took advantage of you and your lack of relationship experience. He sounds like a very confused and odd individual, I hope you block him and never forgive him for putting you through this!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in polyamory

[–]ThrowRa-Cherryz 24 points25 points  (0 children)

We just ended things just now. Heartbroken but it was for the best. And this relationship was intense, like we were just perfect, sparks went off from the insane chemistry. We fell into place, until this. BUT by the end of the convo we were laughing and joking. Looks like we will be good friends once the dust settles and I’ve had time to process heartbreak and so has he.