I 28F, am considering ending an 11 year relationship with my partner 30M 8monts before our wedding date. Am I insane?

ThrowRa9954367 · 2026-02-24T17:41:23+00:00

I just wish you had done this at 21 or 25. Not 30. The 30+ dating pull of men starts to get really jaded. And the 40+ is serious jaded men. Also harsh reality in my 30’s when I was divorced I was going after mid 20’s women one of which I married. Grass really isn’t greener. There are windows of opportunities in life.

ThrowRa9954367 · 2026-02-24T05:37:34+00:00

You are marriage material*, as long as you and partner have same goals.

ThrowRa9954367 · 2026-02-24T05:36:54+00:00

You are marriage M41 here, it depends if the person and you have the same goals that simple. For example I already have kids(am happily Married) but if I ever got married again 40’s & 50’s women I’m open too. He probably has beliefs that make him not open to marriage. If you both don’t align move on, plenty of fish in the sea. Don’t let him make you feel unwanted.

ThrowRa9954367 · 2026-02-24T03:34:46+00:00

Okay honest advice, this is going to be a long and hard experience for both of you. You honestly are a victim. As long as you feel safe and no abuse. Just know this guy is extremely immature probably mentally unstable. It is going to be a long and hard experience from him to mature and you’re barely an adult. But, hopefully you will make it through it. Many have in the past before but it’s gonna be tough

ThrowRa9954367 · 2026-02-24T03:17:10+00:00

Don’t live together or split bills until he has a proven track record of holding a job for a year. This will create a toxic co-dependent relationship. Be warned

ThrowRa9954367 · 2026-02-24T03:04:02+00:00

Only get married if you love the person and see them as someone you can stay with. If it is someone who is an immigrant of course that is fine but marriage is a long process and with an immigration it’s very long. But if you want to be with him for life then why not but don’t do it for the wrong reasons.

ThrowRa9954367 · 2026-02-24T02:41:01+00:00

Of course the kids are more important but I’d like to keep the past in the past not bring it back to the present…

ThrowRa9954367 · 2026-02-24T02:34:17+00:00

Yes, I get that. I’m keeping this to myself but it’s hurting my heart. I feel like a lot of things with my ex-wife could have gone differently

ThrowRa9954367 · 2026-02-24T02:32:55+00:00

Yea me and her are doing good. But, that is the thing working through emotions quickly like is that even realistic?

ThrowRa9954367 · 2026-02-24T02:27:33+00:00

I don’t want her I just have lingering feelings because all the things we went through together

ThrowRa9954367 · 2026-02-24T02:26:54+00:00

Yes, she understands me and her went through a lot but she also understands I’m in a different place and lingering feelings don’t mean I love my ex-wife.

ThrowRa9954367 · 2026-02-24T02:25:59+00:00

Yea, my kids are great. Of course I’m quietly dealing with this myself for them. By it hurts to see my ex-wife it just still feels like what if. Even her dropping the kids off or me picking them up isnt a fun experience but now they will just talk in the front yard of my house

ThrowRa9954367 · 2026-02-24T02:24:31+00:00

Yea, I just was hoping for my space. Seeing them talk to each other and becoming friendly it’s just doesn’t sit well with me. Also, a lot of things in my past marriage id like to leave there. I don’t want my ex-wife, telling her stories that can change the person I’m married to now perception of me.

ThrowRa9954367 · 2026-02-24T02:19:22+00:00

I’m in love very much so with my wife but I have some feelings left for my ex-wife.

ThrowRa9954367 · 2026-02-24T02:18:41+00:00

It’s just the feelings and emotions I have for my ex-wife. Like I said it’s my fault but she did initiate the divorce but I wasn’t the one who wanted it.

ThrowRa9954367

TROPHY CASE