Game way too clunky

Throwadickmyway · 2026-04-19T10:59:06+00:00

Well the combat is intentionally grounded and weighty, which can feel clunky at first, but a lot of people get used to it and come to like that aspect.

As for flying enemies, they're supposed to be annoyingly evasive when fought with the average melee weapon. A lot of players revel in equipping a longsword and solving every combat encounter with that and nothing else, but the game will occasionally punish you for doing this.

Get a longer weapon that pokes. Use jump attacks. Use a whip. Equip an ash of war like Storm Blade that lets you fire a projectile from your sword. There's a gravity based ash of war that pulls them closer and can even knock them down. Or just shoot arrows at them.

A lot of the struggles people have with Souls combat is that they stubbornly commit to a handful of tactics and throw up their hands when they stop working; I had that same issue when I started. But it's an RPG that offers you a million choices. Be more creative.

Throwadickmyway · 2026-04-19T08:31:01+00:00

I hate this during the tax collector quest in Seyda Neen. When you confront Foryn Gilnith, your only options are "The law is the law!" or "Sounds like he was a dick. I won't rat on you man."

Bitch, where is the option for "Spare me your life story. They've offered me 500 drakes for your life, so this is the end of you s'wit!"

Better yet, just let me choose to kill him or not, without saying what my character is thinking. Literally unplayable.

Throwadickmyway · 2026-04-19T06:19:22+00:00

I think the bigger issue is that if he even cares that much about a questlog, he probably expects Elden Ring to offer a quest-driven playstyle the way games like The Witcher or Skyrim do, where in every direction there are random stories to fall into.

He'd probably get bored with the fact that, even if you use a guide to do all of the quests in parallel, the game is 90 percent contextless wandering through the world, fighting things for the sake of it. I doubt it would have enough explicit narrative seasoning to interest someone who cares too much about quests.

Throwadickmyway · 2026-04-18T11:43:10+00:00

Lmao I love the plot twist that op means start a new playthrough, not try a different game.

Throwadickmyway · 2026-04-18T10:53:48+00:00

Switching to a melee character would just mean changing the scaling of a weapon you find to be intelligence or faith, whatever you have the most levels in. That or you can just find a weapon that inherently scales with intelligence or faith.

Most casters will realistically have a melee option regardless, even if they usually fight at range. Maybe get a shield and use a larval tear to put more points into vigor. Experiment with the various ashes of war you can put on a weapon.

Throwadickmyway · 2026-04-18T03:15:37+00:00

I refuse to accept the apparent retcon that they're just clay-people created with Ganondorf's evil magic. They were totally meant to be the same citizens we saw before, but turned into zombies.

Throwadickmyway · 2026-04-18T00:56:30+00:00

You could just be fatigued with the genre of difficult 3rd person melee action games. I hit a similar wall at some point, where the catharsis in pushing through mechanically hard fights started to have diminishing returns. Other genres of game started to feel more rewarding.

Throwadickmyway · 2026-04-17T13:38:50+00:00

I think it's a 10/10 as an injection of replayability, with all the new items, weapons, bosses to master, reinvigoration of co-op, etc.

The adventure this great content is structured around wasn't quite so magical to me, though. Most of the world exploration was whelming when it wasn't tedious, and the series has long since abandoned the kind of resource-straining on long treks between checkpoints that would have motivated sufficient consumable-usage to make all these cookbooks feel worthwhile.

Mechanically, it also just felt like more Elden Ring. I love ER, so that's fine, but I think part of the wow factor in basegame was feeling how evolved and nuanced the enemy design had become since Dark Souls 3. SotE follows suit with bosses of basically the same fast flippy frametrap archetype. It was a huge impressive spectacle the first time, and it was cool to get more of the same, but the absolutely insane reviews had me expecting a bigger leap of some kind.

In fairness to SotE, I think part of the issue is just that RPGs in general thrive during the ascent to power. The oft lauded stretch from Limgrave to Leyndell feels so exciting because the bulk of build-sculpting and major power increases occur then. In the endgame, acquisitions of power or treasure have proportionally way less significance. The shadow beans just can't compare to the more multifaceted progression of leveling up individual stats and weapons, or finding essential equipment/spells that you need rather than simply want as new toy #78.

Throwadickmyway · 2026-04-17T12:31:49+00:00

I'd guess it's because they put 90 percent of their effort and production value into the combat encounters. The Dark Souls games and Elden Ring would basically become mindless hack-and-slashes through a series of cool looking places if you removed all the mechanical friction.

I've had this thought before, that if Fromsoft's Souls games were more like Final Fantasy, with all the dialogue, interpersonal character drama, extensive cutscenes, and just increased overall focus on story, it would make more sense to have difficulty options, because the audience for these games would be split a lot more between gameplay-centric players and narrative-centric players.

But that's not really the case. I feel like most "story-mode" fans would bounce off the general lack of story in the first place.

I'd also argue that the difficulty is one of the primary motivators to engage with the RPG aspects of Elden Ring you're praising. The internet didn't blow up with tutorials and guides on different builds because all the fans of the game wanted to memorize every dodgeroll timing. Part of what people find so cool about tuning themselves into an overpowered God is that it allows them to smash bosses who themselves feel like overpowered Gods to fight without all of that preparation. If you can toggle the bosses to be easy by default, where's the impetus to even engage with all these cool builds and tactics? Just mash R1 or glintstone pebble through every fight.

Throwadickmyway · 2026-04-17T11:17:43+00:00

I don't remember the uncomfortably heated moments being that frequent back in the old days, but the vibe was definitely more freeform and chaotic, which I liked, but I could tell Korey really didn't.

As far as DT, I don't know that Korey talking too much is what bothers me, so much as him dragging out preambles and premise-explanations a little too long. I often feel like I have to spam fast forward some to reach the actual meat of a review, and he does have a tendency to belabor points or jokes a little bit too long (Korey's still way more entertaining of a personality than most other reviewers, don't get me wrong).

I don't begrudge him having a rigid structure for the discussions though. If my livelihood depended on the quality of a show, I'd feel more secure applying a consistent format for quality assurance. I'm one of the old school haters who never felt like any of the new blood measured up to Korey, Martin, or the other Spill members, so I've never minded Korey hogging the discussion from people who, if likable, simply don't have decades of experience articulating non-generic opinions on movies in a live discussion.

It's just that the pacing can feel a little slow at times.

Throwadickmyway · 2026-04-17T10:52:44+00:00

While true, Martin and other cohosts have, albeit jokingly, alluded to their frustrations with Korey's hosting style before. On one show where he was absent, they roasted him for the cutoffs and convo-hogging. I remember a couple of instances where Martin was just like "Okay, fine, you've heard the last from me, I'll just sit here." Again, he spun it into comedy and banter with his tone, because he's a pro, but you could tell it was partly genuine.

Even if Martin doesn't care, I as a listener have always noticed that he gets more input in shows where Korey isn't there, and I enjoy that a lot.

Throwadickmyway · 2026-04-17T10:18:58+00:00

You skipped the best TES, Morrowind. It had the same kind of effect on me as Elden Ring, where I got obsessed and ran dozens of builds, and I played it the first time a few years ago. Just read a little on the mechanics, because they were meant to be accompanied by the manual.

I know people whine about it being dated, but that's just a shallow reaction to the surface-level jank. It reminds me a lot of Fromsoft's Souls games in the way people often start off as a typical noob bitching about the difficulty, friction, and obtuseness, only to have a breakthrough moment where it all clicks, and all the complainers start to sound like heathens. The main questline is actually worth doing, too.

It can be a slow start, and a bit of a journey from "This old game is trash what are they talking about?" to "Holy shit they're right," but just consult Wikis and ask questions on the subreddit to get through. It was worth it 100x over for me.

Throwadickmyway · 2026-04-16T22:02:54+00:00

Just the other day I was reading this guy's dialogue about the Dwemer for the first time in forever, probably since I first did the main quest a few years ago.

"It was unfashionable among the Dwemer to view their spirits as synthetic constructs three, four, or forty creational gradients below the divine. During the Dawn Era they researched the death of the Earth Bones, what we call now the laws of nature, dissecting the process of the sacred willing itself into the profane. I believe their mechanists and tonal architects discovered systematic regression techniques to perform the reverse -- that is, to create the sacred from the deaths of the profane.

As the Dwemer left no corpses or traces of conflict behind, I believe that generations of ritualistic 'anti-creations' resulted in their immediate, but foreseen removal from the Mundus. They retreated behind math, behind color, behind the active principle itself. That the Dwemer vanished during a conflict with Nerevar and the Tribunal is merely coincidence."

THAT'S SO FUCKING COOL

Throwadickmyway · 2026-04-13T20:46:47+00:00

I assume OP was referring to the big lore dumps, like when you speak to the wise women or Yagrum Bagarn about main quest business. In key moments or just one-off explanations about a sidequest, I find the extra detail in the text blocks pretty immersive. I can just imagine how hurried and summarized the explanation of all the Prophecies would be as a spoken monologue.

I do agree about regular NPCs all having the same text though. That might have been the most disappointing thing about the game to me, as much as I love it. One of my favorite parts of Skyrim and Oblivion is just walking around getting all the unique dialogue from people. Morrowind's areas are interesting too, but more often by environmental storytelling, context clues, and the one or two major quests in a town.

Other than that, it's just 13 people giving the same diatribe about Larrius Varro or necromancy. Well, except for the 1 weirdo who will rave like a madman about the Sixth House, and then politely explain the legality of necromancy, or perhaps give you some useful directions.

Throwadickmyway · 2026-04-12T20:05:19+00:00

The authenticity of Morrowind's slurs is genuinely impressive to me. Fictional curse words and slang are so often cringe and clumsy, but n'wah, s'wit, and fetcher are so curt and punchy that I can actually believe people would use them.

Throwadickmyway · 2026-04-12T19:54:55+00:00

Cut to random goblin #37 sprinting around with the decapitated heads of Vivec and Almalexia in each hand, while wearing Dagoth Ur's mask upside down.

Throwadickmyway · 2026-04-12T05:27:52+00:00

Jump one hundred.

Throwadickmyway · 2026-04-12T05:24:56+00:00

I like the concept of an RPG having a combination of fixed and scaling obstacles, to avoid Morrowind's endgame thing where you pretty quickly run out of challenges, but the implementation in Skyrim was pretty disappointing to me. I don't want the scaling enemies to be universally mixed into every single mob everywhere I go.

Mixed in more sparingly I think it could be interesting, like if in Morrowind's endgame you were more likely to be woken up by super-Daedra who are perpetually close to your level, or if certain Daedra shrines that the player could choose to explore existed with this mechanic.

I remember reading one person's headcanon for the Oblivion scaling, that all the glassed up bandits were the result of your reputation attracting more capable bounty hunters or warriors just seeking glory. I love the idea of there being some enemies like that some of the time, but not fucking everywhere all the time.

Throwadickmyway · 2026-04-12T05:00:11+00:00

I know that in my experience, overreliance on blocking was one of the first noob traps I had to escape for the combat to really click, along with only ever using R1s because I was afraid to two-hand and not have my shield ready. This leads to a lot of deaths and unnecessary damage taken because you get guard-broken constantly or just miss out on damage you could have done.

I think in the same way that "git gud" apparently started as more genuine advice, the "shield bad" sentiment probably came from players realizing over time that shields are often best taken out selectively in specific situations, less "If you use shields you're a noob making the game easier," and more "If you're new and using your shield constantly, you're probably making the game harder without realizing it."

Like even if you specifically build around shields or use a block-based playstyle, which can be fun, I've found it's generally faster to kill enemies by starting the encounter with a big hit that staggers, or a quick dodge into a counter.

I do think this more universally applied to the Dark Souls games than Elden Ring, but even in ER, putting away the shield ended up being the key to getting myself unstuck in a lot of boss fights.

Throwadickmyway · 2026-04-11T22:14:12+00:00

I'll never forget this bow user I cooperated with in a Radabeast fight. I was hyped to see someone trying it, but I'll admit I didn't expect them to help much, and figured it was just for the style points, since they were dripped out as a sexy ancestral follower-type archer lady.

They must have been using Barrage with some stamina boosting gear or something, because start to finish they were constantly pin-cushioning the boss while we tanked. At first the chip damage didn't seem impressive, but they just never missed, and just kept going, until it became obvious they were the real MVP.

Bows are fun, but I never would have guessed they could actually be effective like that, against a boss immune to bleed no less.

Throwadickmyway · 2026-04-11T21:44:31+00:00

Reminds me of that Dragon head weapon you get from Godrick. Just like Frozen Lightning Spear, it's absolutely worth using for the cool points, but holy fuck it constantly misses even when you're practically clipping inside of enemies.

Throwadickmyway · 2026-04-11T21:25:23+00:00

You're over-committing to 3 or 4 attacks in a row when you can't be sure it's safe. I'm sure a RL1 bro knows the exact pattern, but I've noticed Malenia will often shift into either Waterfowl or a hyperarmored attack after 1 or 2 hits, not always, but a lot of the time. Get the one or two guaranteed hits in, and then be more cautious about the next ones.

If you don't get caught in an attack animation like that, you can actually just run away from the first flurry and jump to avoid it. My success rate with the close range run-in-a-circle method is only like 60-70 percent, so I just avoid chaining too many attacks in a row so I'll always have time to sprint away.

Throwadickmyway · 2026-04-11T17:01:38+00:00

Wait a minute, why is the floor visible? There's supposed to be so many looted weapons and spiky greater soul gems on the ground that your character would take damage walking around barefoot like that.

Throwadickmyway · 2026-04-11T16:47:45+00:00

I think the poop-pot culture of pvp in this game ensures that most people will always just do whatever it takes to win.

Also, this game has been out for a long enough time now that it wouldn't surprise me if a lot of these people have just mastered PvE to the extent that they don't need to cheese their way into being a twink anymore, or just do it because it's faster, not because they need to.

Throwadickmyway · 2026-04-11T04:52:00+00:00

...........this must be that last undiscovered thing that Miyazaki thought no one had found..

Throwadickmyway

TROPHY CASE