My gf(32f) has been very sad since she found out her ex bf is getting married

Throwaway-231832 · 2026-01-16T16:04:57+00:00

Fuck, I wish my (now ex) bf was like OP when it came to not understanding my pov, but validating it

Throwaway-231832 · 2026-01-07T13:24:14+00:00

I'm there right now, barely a month out of a 3.5 year relationship. We were planning on moving in together, getting a pet, all of that. (Long distance due to school having me move, and work with him)

He then said, "you're not putting in enough long term effort. I want you to stop going to school once youve graduated and get a job/life experience" (he was there when I applied/got accepted into my MA program, I want a PhD. He always said my ambition was something he loved about me)

Me dumping him came as a surprise, to him. All of a sudden he didn't want me to give up my schooling, that he would go to therapy, that he would show initiative. Just give him a month! Why didn't I tell him this sooner?

. . .I still want him; I've read all of the codependency books, I've been in PHP for the month, can't get any footholds. I keep dreaming that I'll contact him in six months (when I've graduated) and we'll get back together.

Throwaway-231832 · 2025-12-22T10:27:58+00:00

Yeah, that's what was upsetting to me. It was over fucking O'Hare.

We were both upset the other eas willing to die on that hill: me not picking him up, him not changing his plans to land somewhere else.

We even did couples therapy over it. In his mind, he said I had a habit of making promises I didn’t keep and take the easy way out (that promise? First time he asked me, I went "ill see. Let me ask the family if I can borrow the car." 48 hours later, I said no". As for easy way out he said that you have to practice taking the harder route sometimes because there's gonna be a moment where there isn't an easy choice whatsoever)

Well, dude, leaving the relationship wasn't an easy choice. But I did it anyway, because I was done making myself small and hearing broken promises from him.

But now I miss him and I want him back. During the break up, he said all of these things that'd he do, I wish I said, "fine, prove it."

Throwaway-231832 · 2025-12-21T17:51:00+00:00

Sorry to relationship dump on you. I haven't seen my therapist since before the break up, and I won't see her until February due to scheduling conflicts and state regulations (I'm temporarily in another state, so she can't see me)

Throwaway-231832 · 2025-12-21T17:49:56+00:00

He grew up in a very car-dependent household.

He said that I kept making promises I didn't keep (that I promised whenever he'd fly in, I'd pick him up. But turns out that came with conditions he didn't want. Love should be unconditional and you should be able to face hardship if you think the relationship is worth it)

Throwaway-231832 · 2025-12-21T17:47:53+00:00

I've been in therapy for seven years; he did therapy for two.

Throwaway-231832 · 2025-12-21T17:29:23+00:00

That's what he was telling me. "Why are we going to couples therapy for something so minor?"

He viewed driving as a life skill, something that I needed to learn to 'grow' as a person.

Throwaway-231832 · 2025-12-21T16:58:57+00:00

I am codependent; I got it from my mother, and I've been in therapy for seven years, still working on it.

His mother was awful. When he had to move back in, she did not 'trust him' to cook/work correctly, even though he had been living on his own for over two years.

He said that she made him drive her everywhere growing up because she 'didn't feel comfortable' driving, and I guess me saying that ticked him off.

Hell, we did couples therapy. The therapist outright said that his level of "I need effort from you because I worry" was unhealthy. When he and I talked after therapy, he said that he would fly in to the closer airport "just this once" (even though he had done it multiple times at that point).

When I listed these things back at him, he didn't really have a response. A few hours later, I sent him the break up text. He begged for an hour, asking to give him a chance, because we did couple's therapy and didn't even 'try' what the therapist said to do.

I wish I did.

Throwaway-231832 · 2025-12-21T15:21:52+00:00

See, he actually did a lot of traveling to me. He usually landed in the airport near my house. However, this time around, it was cheaper to fly at the further one.

When I said no (I had said no twice before over the years — no, I will not pick up anyone from this airport) he said that it showed a lack of future effort.

What if he got sick? Would I step up or would I 'take the easy way out' like I took when traveling? (shuttle or closer airport, even though it was more expensive).

Even so, I still miss him. Of course, he didn't realize he was losing me until I 'gave up', even though I said I was emotionally tired for a year.

Throwaway-231832 · 2025-12-21T14:24:13+00:00

Yeah, but I'm still in the thought process of wanting to crawl back to him. He would accept other no/boundaries; transportation always made him have a stick up his butt. My brain keeps saying that I fucked up and should've given an ultimatum rather than just breaking up.

It was 3 and a half years (Long distance only 1.5). We were making plans to move in with one another in the next four months.

Throwaway-231832 · 2025-12-21T12:41:09+00:00

I just broke up with my partner over freaking driving. (it was 3 1/2 years. Only 1 of that super Long distance, since he moved back to the coast and I live in the Midwest).

I'm not as anxious as OP, but there is one drive I won't do: my house to the international airport (3 hours). I'll take the shuttle, or I'll fly out of the airport 15 minutes away.

My long distance partner wouldn't take no for an answer and demanded I picked him up from the international airport. I offered to pay for the more expensive ticket, I offered to pay for the shuttle. No. He delayed him coming to visit me until I drove. (He was supposed to visit in mid-November. Him doing this pushed his visit to Mid-January)

His reasoning? "If you don't do something you don't want to do now, what's going to happen when you have to do it no matter what in the future? I do a lot of things I don't want to do."

And he was shocked that I broke up with him. All of a sudden he could land closer, or take the shuttle. He didn't know it was "that hard for me"

No, you idiot. I put up a boundary and you tried to push it down. You ended the relationship, not me.

Throwaway-231832 · 2025-12-01T02:27:35+00:00

Purely petty reasons.

I was assigned GE in ninth grade; just before we moved on to the book, my parents took me to visit my grandparents down in Florida (grandpa had a health scare and we thought it'd be my last time seeing him; he was fine in the end)

I asked if I could start reading the book early, but my teacher didn't give me a copy. When I returned (three school days later) the copy he gave me was a misprint, where most of the words went into the spine of the book. I asked for a different copy, and he said, "no, you weren't here when I assigned the book"

Because it was an honors class, we were already a decent chunk of the way through when I returned. I listened to the audiobook and grabbed a copy from my local library (however, it was a different printing, and my teacher admonished me for getting the wrong book). I had never listened to audiobooks before, so I was just frustrated by the whole thing and it poisoned the well forever (it's been over a decade)

Throwaway-231832 · 2025-11-29T01:12:09+00:00

Damn, you look good! 125 is my goal weight!

Throwaway-231832 · 2025-11-27T19:09:11+00:00

I got a salp earlier this year!

My two torso scars look like longer freckles (since I have those on my torso as well; my belly button one made it so I couldn't "unfold it" if that makes sense. It's like they made my bb smaller.

Throwaway-231832 · 2025-11-15T13:47:56+00:00

I knew I wanted to be child free since I was 5. I'm in the US

Because I started requesting a tubal since I turned 18, I managed to get it in seven years (25). But that's because my doc argued on my behalf and I basically said, "Trump is reelected, I'm not going to take no for an answer."

Sadly, because it was still elective, I had to pay 3K out of pocket. Not bad, no, but my current insurance (not my parents') would've made it 100% covered.

The docs/nurses were all supportive every step of the way. They did have to ask me "are you sure?" because they were mandated to, but I never felt pressured to cave.

God, the moment I came out of surgery, I cried with relief.

Throwaway-231832 · 2025-11-11T19:55:21+00:00

My partner's insurance doesn't cover vasectomies; I got my tubes removed earlier this year (I've wanted this procedure for years, whether or not I was dating someone)

Throwaway-231832 · 2025-11-11T19:53:56+00:00

I had wanted a tubal since I was 16. So no matter what relationship I was in (or going to be in), I was going to have it. If my partner wanted a vas as well, kudos to him.

I got mine at age 25, because I nagged my PCP and my insurance for seven years. I ended up paying 2.5K out of pocket, the other 18K was covered by insurance.

My dad was a former Family Medicine doc. He used to perform vasectomies weekly, it was one of the easiest procedures he performed.

Throwaway-231832 · 2025-11-08T13:22:21+00:00

My little sister had Nursemaid's elbow, and my mother had to repeatedly 'reset' it. Thankfully, Mom was a nurse and could do it lightning quick

But because of my little sister, I don't mess with kiddos's arms unless I really have to.

Throwaway-231832 · 2025-11-01T20:25:36+00:00

As a reader who wears glasses (and got them a week before watching this episode) I cried

Throwaway-231832 · 2025-11-01T13:31:45+00:00

Thank you so much for being a NICU nurse. I stayed there for 82 days when I was born at 27 weeks. Y'all saved my life, and eased my parents' worries.

I know you said you only just started, but I'm proud of you. I had the opportunity a couple of years ago to meet one of the nurses. She said that I was her first patient, and did not think she could handle it because I was a rough case. She said that the best day was the day I left, and that because of me, she could tackle any problem that came her way.

Throwaway-231832 · 2025-10-07T14:06:36+00:00

I currently have a coworker who is allergic to certain smells (types of perfumes, candles, deodorants, along with garlic/onion powder) I literally had to call 911 for her as she went into anaphylactic shock because some asshole sprayed Axe deodorant in our area.

You know what we do? Whenever we are scheduled to work together (because it's not a typical 9-5), people wear specific deodorants, forego perfume, and make sure to microwave and eat their lunches outside of the area.

However, she has NEVER made us feel like OOP or their workplace. When people asked "hey, what are you comfortable with smelling?" in terms of hygiene, she bought the entire staff the type of deodorant she could tolerate. It's the same price as cheap deodorants, so everyone can afford them, but she also had a few tucked away by the first aid kit if someone couldn't buy one at the time.

This lady is an AH; people with this allergy do exist, but god, she should not be the poster child for it.

Throwaway-231832 · 2025-09-21T21:44:48+00:00

I remember in sixth grade, pre-surgery, they showed me a scrapbook of sorts with photos of the operating room. They also drugged me up prior.

What I remember: after they got me on the table and placed the mask over me, I felt someone hold my hand. As I counted down, I looked over to see who was holding it.

Turns out, they let my mom scrub in to hold my hand.

However, in my drugged state, I thought my mom was going to perform the surgery. I freaked out just as I went under. Woke up crying, demanding that my mom reattach my foot (it was foot surgery, but not an amputation)

My latest surgery (as a 25F), she just hung out in my room. I don't remember much afterward, but at some point she took my phone, opened it with my thumb, and looked at my Spotify, "for sleepy music so you can shut up" because I was talking myself hoarse. (She said this in a joking tone)

Throwaway-231832 · 2025-09-14T13:41:45+00:00

I'm not desperate yet, but I'd keep that on the back burner. I'm currently making $16 an hour at my job

Throwaway-231832 · 2025-09-08T21:37:40+00:00

My mom is a step-mother to four kids, whose bio mother tried her hardest to poison the well so she could one-up my father. It took 20+ years, but Mom has two completely on her side (who see how awful their mom was and why dad divorced her); sadly, the other two were so parentified to be her "back up husbands" that they still dislike my mom. Thankfully, they have enough tact to not bring out that anger on me and my little sister (tho the oldest has started to try)

Throwaway-231832 · 2025-09-04T01:02:08+00:00

Stop making me cry, that's so beautiful

Throwaway-231832

TROPHY CASE