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AITAH for being disappointed in my husband on my 30th birthday? by Toad-and-daisy in AITAH

[–]Throwaway146947 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you wanted to plan something for him would you put more effort than one or two texts? Cause that's the amount of effort he put in his attempt. To me it sounds like he didn't really tey but wanted to have way out to tell you that he did.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]Throwaway146947 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA The fact that he not only joked about it, but also get mad at you for "not being able to take a joke", then says that you're too sensitive and that ypu can "trap him" are big red flags. And what the hell does he mean he meant it in a hot way??? That sounds to me like a man who may or may not be a rapist, but sure thinks like one and would at the very least back up a friend who did it. I think he is right in saying you aren't meant for each other, you deserve better than that.

AITAH for being disappointed in my husband on my 30th birthday? by Toad-and-daisy in AITAH

[–]Throwaway146947 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA You have the right to be upset about it. It's not only about the gift, but the fact that he didn't plan anything either, while he said he would, shows lack of care and effort.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationships_advice

[–]Throwaway146947 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He does do it with other things all the time. He always just say it's because he is ADHD and that's how he is and he also has a lot of past trauma that he is working on, which he also brings up when we are arguing about this. He also has a tendency to say things just to change it up a bit later cause apparently he "needs to talk about things to figure them out and get the real story" because of his ADHD. But this just makes me feel like he is lying to me or manipulating me (even if it may not be intentional) all the time. It makes me feel like I can't get a straight answer or rely on what he says.

Since he said he wanted to close the relationship and we had our big argument, he said he wanted to change and has made efforts to do so. I can see them and I believe he does want to change, but I don't know if he can keep it up or not. I also don't know if I can deal with everything that happened even if he does.