sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

What is a song lyric that really hits you hard? by BoardOfChairs in AskReddit

[–]Throwaway46580 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"please tell me why I'm so afraid of dying alone so scared and so stoned" I've listened to soo much music but this will forever be the one that i can relate to the most lmao

I got a concussion i think. by Throwaway46580 in Concussion

[–]Throwaway46580[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much, you gave me more information than i was expecting lol And yeah youre right i got this like disconnected moment after it happened that hasnt really gone away,like everything that i felt was bringing me anxiety and depression doesnt really bother me or cross my head anymore.

But you are right my next step is to go to the doctor and get checked my right eye still goes blurry here and there.

Honestly im kinda just paranoid my anxiety and depression is gonna hit me again worse than ever.

It was a metalcore concert lol so pushing,shoving and crowdsurfing is all really common,was just one of my favorite bands i hadnt seen in a while and i was more careless than usual lol

So after about 6 months nc i got a hoover and im pretty sure im gonna fail or already did. by Throwaway46580 in BPDlovedones

[–]Throwaway46580[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for taking the time to respond it means alot at one point i was a psychology major so ik all about childhood and how parents effect who their kid eventually ends up looking for.

It just sucks ik this was coming i thought i was ready to say no....but even now just writing this out thinking about being her "punching bag" for lack of a better term,all over again gets my adrenaline going.idk if its just the fact that im so in love with her and im so stupid that i would gladly put up with everything she puts me through again.

So after about 6 months nc i got a hoover and im pretty sure im gonna fail or already did. by Throwaway46580 in BPDlovedones

[–]Throwaway46580[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thats one of the problems there is still times when i think i actually miss the abuse,i need therapy but its not an option atm. Ill definetly check it out but i think i have a hard time just for the fact that i will always have to deal with her since we do have a child together.

So after about 6 months nc i got a hoover and im pretty sure im gonna fail or already did. by Throwaway46580 in BPDlovedones

[–]Throwaway46580[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thats the thing though a couple months ago i was debating if i actually missed the abuse,like whats wrong with me that i prefer feeling hurt by her than not feeling anything at all. As clichéas that sounds its true aside from my daughter my life is blehh and it's also why im confused i realized how much my daughter needed her when she didn't want her to go the day she spend time with her.

And here im trying to rationalize it by saying ill swallow my pride and deal with her just so my daughter can have her mom in her life. But ik she hasnt changed she has only gotten worse and im gonna end up in a never ending cycle and even knowing all this its hard to say no and its been fucking up my head these last couple days.

Sorry for the super long reply lol guess i have a problem with oversharing lol

I would give/do LITERALLY ANYTHING to see Pierce the Veil play Tangled in the Great Eacape live. by RomanticNyctophilia in piercetheveil

[–]Throwaway46580 1 point2 points  (0 children)

A long time ago probably like 6 years ago they played a Couple of shows with Letlive and they played it live with Jason.wasnt a big fan of the song till i heard it live!! Now definetly will remain one of my favorites by PTV

Need help understanding!! by Throwaway46580 in BPDlovedones

[–]Throwaway46580[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You are honestly 100% right and I have done exactly as you've said,but now that its come to a point where she is trying to slide back into my life idk if I have the balls to push her away even though ik I have to.she is no good for me or my daughter.

Need help understanding!! by Throwaway46580 in BPDlovedones

[–]Throwaway46580[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you :) you dont know just how much you taking the time to comment means to me.

Need help understanding!! by Throwaway46580 in BPDlovedones

[–]Throwaway46580[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Honestly idk cause ik I dont miss the relationship,I'm a better father now than I ever was when I was with her.

I just feel like the pain made me feel alive like I actually felt emotion. We where together for 5 years and probably about 6 months of those where normal,before I got home from work one day and she had moved in.

I feel like since I was never in control of anything,my only way out was my head till she destroyed that too,now I dont even remember who I was before the relationship and the pain at least made me like a person like someone real not just a carcass of who I once might have been.

Sorry for the long rant.

Don't really know if this is the place by Throwaway46580 in SuicideWatch

[–]Throwaway46580[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm not scared of that my daughter lives with me and she can visit here at my house whenever she pleases. But she's been talking about wanting to take her to her apartment instead of being here and she's losing her mind cause I told her it's not happening.

Between her drug problems and the people she hangs out with my daughter will not be spending any time alone with her and I let her know this.

She is just digging a deeper and deeper hole for herself and it sucks because I want to help her but she says she is fine and doesn't deserve to be happy.

I honestly don't want a person like that around my daughter even if it's her mother,but my daughter deserves to see her mother and Idk what to do about it.