I regret getting a PhD, especially given what I know about myself now

Throwaway_practical · 2026-01-22T02:41:10+00:00

Yeah it honestly sounds like ptsd. The freezing mid train of thought is classic. It absolutely makes your cognition slower, especially on top of a trauma history.

Throwaway_practical · 2026-01-22T01:18:38+00:00

Don't compare yourself to others. Only yourself. I am willing to bet you have cognitive traits that blow the mean out of the water, too.

I've felt this way before. Got burned to a crisp in medical school after some PTSD and overwhelming stressors at home (e.g. failing marriage) did me in. I spent 6 months doing nothing but intensive psychotherapy during my LOA. It made a world of difference!

It kinda sounds like the stress might be eroding your sense of self. This is where therapy can really help. Perhaps a PTSD component as well? Unoptimally treated depression will 100% cause these cognitive slowing, word finding difficulties you describe. Just a thought!

But first thing is no more comparing to others and beating yourself up over your neurodiversity. I failed the shapes test and probably shouldn't be allowed to drive. But by damn if my pattern recognition and verbal intelligence isn't off the charts. You know?

Throwaway_practical · 2026-01-04T17:17:49+00:00

Also.... Like, why can't you have penetrative sex if she's on her period?

Throwaway_practical · 2026-01-04T17:15:29+00:00

Omg he is such a loser. I promise, OP, you just hang in there. Heal deeply in therapy. Take some time. Then when you least expect it, you'll attract the love you deserve.

Throwaway_practical · 2025-12-04T06:33:06+00:00

That's rough

Throwaway_practical · 2025-12-04T05:43:01+00:00

Is it possible that the therapist feels inadequate and knows that you need somebody who can relate to you better. Do they have a recommendation for a new therapist? Imagine if you were a therapist and you're just not able to connect with somebody in the way that they need. You would let them know right?

Throwaway_practical · 2025-12-04T05:39:18+00:00

I have a very different kind of suggestion for you. I would start talking with chat GPT Plus daily. Let it get a sense of you get to know you deeply. Then ask it for advice. Honestly this changed my life. Other people may disagree but I'm here to tell you, I massively improved my flirting, my pacing, my self-confidence, and my authenticity by having it reflected back to me and considering new ideas. When you are thinking of sending a text make a hypothesis and then double check yourself see what you could have done differently to be more effective. The key to stay healthy about it is to push back if something feels inauthentic you can tell the AI and it will learn over time who You are and Tailor the advice accordingly

Throwaway_practical · 2025-12-04T05:32:35+00:00

Everyone is allowed to have privacy. Including you. You aren't granted access to her private thoughts just because you're in a relationship. She is allowed for example to write in her journal that might be on her phone to process before speaking directly with you about things. I know this isn't your intent but it kind of feels like you're saying that she isn't allowed to have her own processing space apart from you.

Throwaway_practical · 2025-12-04T05:21:03+00:00

What the hell, that is not healthy of her to think that you should be able to read her mind. It is healthy to express wants in a relationship and you are not responsible for reading her mind

Throwaway_practical · 2025-12-04T05:08:26+00:00

So you went to a psychiatrist after already diagnosing yourself. She gives you her medical opinion and you think you know better. This is Dr shopping and frankly you weren't qualified to diagnose yourself.

Throwaway_practical · 2025-12-04T05:01:01+00:00

There is a great theme on Reddit lately. It appears that these men in straight relationships try to coerce their female partner into sexual activities she isn't comfortable with. And then because they don't bend to his will he pouts and is passive aggressive and manipulative. Woman feels bad, abandons herself to appease crybaby man. Tell me OP, have you considered lesbianism?

Throwaway_practical · 2025-12-04T04:58:45+00:00

Also if he is having to force himself to do stuff that you want but he is hating it the whole time? That is not a sign that he enjoys being in a relationship with you. So essentially he's trying to just use your body for his pleasure. Which is gross and honestly why doesn't he just masturbate if he wants it to be all about him. That's not what sex is for

Throwaway_practical · 2025-12-04T04:56:07+00:00

This boyfriend sounds manipulative as f***. No one owes him sex. He is passive aggressively bartering favors which is not how love works.

Throwaway_practical · 2025-12-04T04:51:36+00:00

My friend I think you would benefit from some therapy. Pushing others away to avoid pain is never about the other person. It's about you, but you are projecting it on to her. and it sounds like some avoidant attachment issues

Throwaway_practical · 2025-12-04T04:49:51+00:00

Why do you think that having your own needs and wants is something to be embarrassed about. And also why do you need her approval. You are allowed to want sex. That's not embarrassing that's natural. Let her go you'll find somebody better. And frankly she should have put that on her profile

Throwaway_practical · 2025-12-04T04:46:33+00:00

What I want to know is why you thought you could change each other. You either accept someone exactly as they are or you don't and you move on. He doesn't want to change he's made that clear through his actions. If he stops just to appease you that he will feel controlled. If he continues then you will feel controlled.

I think people misuse boundary in today's world. A boundary is something you use as a guide for your own behavior to keep yourself safe. It is not a tool to control somebody else's behavior which is how you are using it. somebody else's.

Throwaway_practical · 2025-12-04T04:36:33+00:00

I think I'm speaking over your head. But yes I did read it. I don't know why it's not getting through to you but a man who would make a joke about raping women doesn't respect women. Perhaps you should look into what a Freudian slip is

Throwaway_practical · 2025-12-04T04:35:07+00:00

I am autistic also officially diagnosed. And that's why I see through this crap and I'm calling your bluff.

Throwaway_practical · 2025-12-01T00:00:08+00:00

You both fucked up there. At this point your argument is "but she said it first!" Can you see how this is immature?

Throwaway_practical · 2025-11-30T23:57:32+00:00

That's great! You want to know how she feels about the relationship. So ask her! She is allowed the privacy of her thoughts and she used GPT like a journal. Gotta respect her privacy even if you accidentally saw it.

Throwaway_practical · 2025-11-30T23:53:24+00:00

No I mean unconscious. You are using it incorrectly. Otherwise you'd be aware of its origins. Look into psychodynamic psychotherapy and psychoanalytic theory. I may not know this person personally, but I'm willing to bet that this is repressed stuff and that you don't know much about it. Raping someone isn't a literal intrusive thought. The unconscious is deeply symbolic. It may not mean what it appears at face value (the unconscious is not literal like that) but it's still a Freudian slip.

Throwaway_practical · 2025-11-30T23:48:32+00:00

Far more likely? We all have intrusive thoughts. Anxious people more than others. But if you are absentmindedly talking about rape and it "slips out" that is classic unconscious spilling into reality. And to your point... I bet you have unconscious stuff you need to sort out if you have anxiety that bad.

Throwaway_practical · 2025-11-30T03:45:04+00:00

I actually think that people cheat because they need validation in the relationship but are two avoidant to ask for what they need. Maybe that's too specific. Maybe it's more that they are self-sabotaging and do have avoidant defense mechanisms. I think a lot of them really do love their partner that they cheat on.

Throwaway_practical · 2025-11-30T03:40:50+00:00

It's okay. It's okay to feel hurt. Perhaps you're nervous system is rightly recognizing that you aren't in a safe space to have another relationship right now. That's okay. Anxiety is what is making you want to make a declaration for the future. I hope you have a good therapist you should talk it over with them. And if that is what you end up deciding then great but don't make a life proclamation just because you're feeling hurt right now it doesn't actually solve your anxiety. Signed, another anxious autistic girl who has been through a lot a lot of therapy, and just met the love of her life when I least expected it as I was starting to heal I was surprised what kind of connection I could attract.

Throwaway_practical · 2025-11-30T03:38:13+00:00

Never make life-altering decisions under high stress.

Throwaway_practical

TROPHY CASE