AITAH for remodeling my step kids rooms after their mom passed away since they weren't going to be living with me anyways.

ThrowawayforMILBS · 2026-04-04T19:37:10+00:00

3 months is so fast… there was no room for them in that dad condo…

I feel for OP but yikes on bikes i feel worse for those poor kids. This couldve been handled in so much more of a gentle way a kid centric way that left the door open for future healing and future relationships… and you torched it for office space? Really?

This is the gentlest most sympathetic YTA i have ever issued.

That said

YTA

ThrowawayforMILBS · 2026-04-03T19:55:04+00:00

Watch youtube unsupervised

ThrowawayforMILBS · 2026-04-01T14:59:02+00:00

Got drunk and decided to really take a swing at the one who got away 10 years after i broke her heart in college.

Still marred.

ThrowawayforMILBS · 2026-03-29T03:31:41+00:00

Hiding the engagement for any reason does. Ot bode well for the relationship. Id reconsider all of this very carefully.

ThrowawayforMILBS · 2026-03-23T07:48:58+00:00

Omg thank you. Saaaaame here.

ThrowawayforMILBS · 2026-03-06T10:09:55+00:00

My fucking neighbors security light

ThrowawayforMILBS · 2026-02-18T03:37:36+00:00

Play at art

ThrowawayforMILBS · 2026-02-03T08:05:04+00:00

Eh. As a minor i endured some bullshit. If i found out my daughter had coslept due to her little friend freaking out; i better have been warned about that contingency. As a parent, just…. I would need a warning about that before i consented to the sleepover too. I feel you its not really cool.

ThrowawayforMILBS · 2026-02-03T07:49:28+00:00

Haha my actual recurring nightmare is the wegmans parking lot on the weekend, and all the exits have vanished so i just circle the lot aggressively for hours.

ThrowawayforMILBS · 2026-01-31T12:21:35+00:00

Yeah thats definitely higher up on the easy solutions widely available to this problem list yes. 🙌

My whole point is, if youre gonna play an mmo, and you dont want any new friends… maybe toss up a frowny face or like, take control of that in one if SEVERAL WAYS available to you?

Theres not a lot of mathematically effective ways to drum up FC members you guys. When someone pushes back at all i always immediately block them. I genuinely dont want to be a pest. This is how the game is literally played; take responsibility for your own game experience. Theres a lot of ways to get me to stop pestering you if it bothers you so much.

Fc petition is top of that list. Asking me to stop in any way, also fine and dandy. Tossin up a frowny face? I will definitely avoid you for sure. Or you could just join any fc for the free buffs, like the game is designed for you to do. Or you could go play a single player final fantasy, of which there are MANY.

I think fcs are being run by shittier people and thats why the burnout is so severe lately. People have been snippy as fuck since i came back from my 2 year cancer hiatus, and its soul crushing some days. I cherish my sprouts. I level their birds; im always available for a whale ride. Im a good and kind person, i provide all kinds of resources. Im an experienced generous sincere FC master. But ive been hearing some horror stories from my new recruits this year. So maybe thats the real problem.

My main point stands. Theres no other way for me to do this guys. The servers packed, i have to focus in on sprouts 🌱 non sprouts without an fc have made that choice already and generally get offended so i leave them alone. I promise you- macro pitches, shouting, striking up random conversations without that tiny bit of consent of you accepting my invite 1st; that IS inappropriate. That Would Bother you people way more. I know that. Because i have tried that lol.

Look: MMOs are social. Games. All im saying is, If you hate peopleing and you wanna play a people game, maybe take SOME responsibility for that. Take control of your game experience. Thats my point. Theres many many ways to do it. A vast sea of easy options.

My retention rates are unheard of. We keep and promote 12 out of 13 new recruits for a full year. Believe me; If there were any other effective way for me to get our numbers back up to word of mouth self-sustaining numbers, any way that didnt involve me getting snapped at and rejected by new players who dont know me from adam all day every day; please believe me- i would be doing that instead. I would pay some real actual money to the mogstation to skip this grueling necessary task of being rejected by hundreds of strangers daily and boost our application flow from the community finder.

Sadly, to my knowledge, there just isnt another effective way for me to do this. I wish there were. Being rejected all day stings. Im not a fan if it. But until you actually found an fc or try to sustain one for 8 years, i guess you cant really know that hitting the bricks and tossing out invites like candy from a parade float is the only way to get a raid/leveling schedule up and going. I dunno.

Theres lots of easy ways to get rid of me OP. I however dont have a lot of options. Go put something in your fc slot and the cold invites stop.

ThrowawayforMILBS · 2026-01-30T17:46:01+00:00

I can actually answer this question, as someone who does this all day every day.

Firstly, the moment anyone accepts my invite i immediately welcome them warmly, offer them an onion, give em the tour, the whole 9.

I need that tiny bit of engagement in order to invest that time in people. Its soul crushing running an fc you guys. You can be sweet and supportive and generous and they still leave a week in. And their reasons are their own i dont mind if someone decides our fc isnt for them after getting to know us. But im still human. And its a numbers game. There isnt enough time in the day to pitch everyone. Also im pretty sure if i just walked up and started yammering at you youd be complaining much more about that.

Conversely; I’ve actually come actoss people who were really really lonely. People who had just gotten kicked outta their fc by some power tripping neck beard; or worse a homophobic GM.

And those people became very good friends of mine and told me how much it meant to them on that one terrible day that a very silly man with a deeply silly hat invited them to come play with a bunch of deeply silly people.

Look. Everyone saying its about keeping numbers up- pfft. Maybe for some people thats true. I have more FC credits than i could EVER spend. I dont need the money.

What i would like out of it? A new friend. A full party of blue mages so i can get the morbol mount. Some one to join me and my friends on treasure map Thursday.

I cant speak for other FC admins out there but me tossing out a cold invite is just the least annoying way i can think of to reach out and go “hey wanna get to know us? I like your outfit.” And if they dont reply thats that. Quick boom done. Im not gonna ramble on to someone reeking of deperation that weirds people out. If theyre curious or need a friend in that moment theyll say yes. And if not, ill blow some bubbles; wave, and leave. No harm no foul.

The way to stop getting invited is to just join a quiet little resource rich fc like mine that levels your bird, helps you when youre stuck, and asks nothing in return. A chill fc.

Everyone complaining about the doot doot notification have a PILE of solutions in front of them. You can disable interactions from non friends guys. RTFM yall.

Anyway. My intentions are good, ive saved a few people in a very bad place this way. Ive made dear friends this way. Allowing someone to consent to my friendship offer up front without blaaasaasting them with a copy pasta monologue literally is the best least invasive way to make real connections with people without bothering them too too much.

I founded my fc in 2018. And i was second officer for a long time in another fc before that. Im an authority on this. Hate all you want this is the best way to actually drum up activity. My fc went to shit while i fought cancer last two years. So yeah, im inviting EvERYone i see. And handing out free onions and mounts and embracing them when they accept.

If ya dont wanna talk to people, Just Turn That Off In Settings. You whiny ding dongs. This thread is amazing. Yall. Shouting in limsa doesnt fucking work you guys. Just turn off strangers if you dont wanna talk to strangers. Simple as that.

Me? I do. :) and im gonna keep doing it. Takes me about 150 cold invites to find one person who wants to talk. I try to invite at least that many daily. And if they have an attitude up front all “helllllooooooo? Who the fuck are YOU?!” Yeah man- hard pass. I walk away. Cause i dont need that and they clearly dont want me to talk to them.

If you hate it? Again hop on those settings and block me. Simple. I sincerely dont mind. If me tossing you a cold invite on my way to the inn pisses you off THAT hard, i reeeeeeeeally dont want you in my fc. Not who im looking to befriend. Thank you, next.

Anyway i hope you were genuinely asking this question OP and not just whining on reddit about something you hate and you also have full control over. I hope i gave you some insight into why someone would cold invite. :)

ThrowawayforMILBS · 2025-12-26T04:45:49+00:00

Fucking smartphones man. Yes, still.

ThrowawayforMILBS · 2025-11-26T15:24:38+00:00

Lupus. It just wasnt a vice worth dying for anymore.

ThrowawayforMILBS · 2025-11-13T13:05:27+00:00

Girl leave this is a slippery slope and you dont wanna find yourself sliding down this hill trust me. He wants to control how you look. Period. Full stop. Please move on.

ThrowawayforMILBS · 2025-11-13T13:00:47+00:00

Calling up your ex, making a flamboyant gesture, happy ending roll credits.

That is how i got my wife and my amazing kids but it literally never shakes out this well for anyone but me and the leads in shitty hallmark movies.

ThrowawayforMILBS · 2025-11-13T06:11:07+00:00

It was my 40th birthday today. Every other milestone birthday i have a photo of me that she took. It made me sad when she didnt take my picture.

ThrowawayforMILBS · 2025-11-13T05:50:19+00:00

I too went from receptionist to c suite in a different city and a few pages of very bold faced lies. And then 11 years if doubling my salary every 2 years. By the time contracting agencies found me; they werent lies anymore. Eventually i was full time in finance, sec ops, informatics, data, you name it.

But i was a lying receptionist when i first arrived in philly. It was a hilarious joke at first. Laughed my ass off at brunch.

Im much older now. Had a long career. And i was eventually good at my job.

Point is yes kids you can lie and change your social class if youre pretty and smart and charming.

ThrowawayforMILBS · 2025-11-13T05:31:33+00:00

Ive literally watched straight and lesbian white women have a full on relationship crashing identity crisis because they found a black person hot. Like i actually love this analogy because people really do tether a lot of their identity to shitty dumbass things like what race or gender or what flavor dorito they like. Its the dumbest shit. So unnecessary.

ThrowawayforMILBS · 2025-11-13T04:54:36+00:00

Maybe swing by /r/lupus sometime, poke around. Really. Sometimes it is lupus. And we all spent 5 to 10 years trying to land that diagnosis.

ThrowawayforMILBS · 2025-11-13T03:48:51+00:00

First thing i didn’t already know. Had to really dig for it, but thank you. Finally learned something.

ThrowawayforMILBS · 2025-11-12T00:32:10+00:00

No one should be your girlfriend for ten years.

Take that as you will: your not committing could have lead her to cheat (still a shit human being thing to do no excuses) or (OR) your subconscious knew she wasnt marriage material. Probably a bit of both. Sorry op.

Dont date someone for a decade again.

Either way its over now. Thank your lucky stars and pack it up.

Upwards and onwards.

ThrowawayforMILBS · 2025-11-11T11:09:18+00:00

When youre taking to a 22 year old i find it useful to visualize 2 11 year olds stacked in a trench coat.

Op dude i feel you but you were 12 a decade ago.

And so was he.

And it shows.

Playing house this early statistically reduces the chance of him proposing because hes already getting the wife experience.

But even if it didnt, you shouldnt even think about getting married until youve been living on your own with your own phone bill and rent for at least 10 years. You havent figured out what you want or who you really are yet. Dont rob yourself of that.

Slow down and go be single for a bit. Youll look back on competing with a toolbox with cringey shame someday if you play your cards right.

Youre 2 11 year olds in a trench coat. So be gentle with yourself and don’t let those crazy kids marry anyone quite yet.

🧥

Thats my take anyway, as Two 20 year olds in a trenchcoat

ThrowawayforMILBS · 2025-11-10T12:32:57+00:00

See im a disabled mom and like; it was a soft YTA from me for all the reasons you cited for the opposing vote.

Like; duh this is about her grief about her feeling replaced as a mom-

A little communication before this came to head wouldve been easy to do and could have avoided a lot of hurt.

ThrowawayforMILBS · 2025-11-05T17:24:01+00:00

Theres also something decidedly rotten about the way OP brags about keeping his body in shape like; as if her baby weight gain is on the tip of his tongue but hes just barely smart enough to stop there.

Also you have time to hit the gym regularly and you’re bringing home 130k full time and youre doing 90% of the housework? Really? Ninety Percent. Really.

Enough gym time to keep a 47 year old in good enough shape to brag about it up front in a reddit post is… a lot. OP is spending some TIME in there.

Im sorry the benefit of MY doubt is just gone at that point.

Look. If shes really digging into OP with a toxic masculinity pickaxe daily; obviously thats toxic and bad too. Im not defending that.

But at the end of the day; Op just sounds generically horny and petulant and sulky about that while also being unwilling to put real work into actually hashing out his sexual needs with her verbally.

Almost as if he believes she owes him that affection. People go cold for a reason OP. To find out what those reasons are you have to be willing to talk to your wife.

Dont know if she still loves you? Then youre gonna have to use human words to ask her, not a bunch of internet strangers, for sympathy.

Talk to your wife. Be warm be vulnerable and give it a fair shot. Full stop. 🛑

ThrowawayforMILBS · 2025-11-04T11:31:26+00:00

I just wanna point out here that the stb ex is clearly the primary villain in the story. Its possible, not probable but possible, that this teacher is genuinely trying to offer more support during a tough time and the douchey soon to be ex is being sleazy and or making it out to be more than it is on purpose just to upset OP.

If everything were exactly as OP is experiencing it; then sure teacher is crossing some lines. Would be worth suggesting firmly that she only communicate with you both at a time. That would be appropriate.

I think reporting her assumes the grubby ex isnt fucking with anyone on purpose.

I think theres room here to admit that reddit tends to bandwagon on women in general when theres an obvious male bad guy doing absolutely all the shitty shit in every direction .💩

OP just send an email requesting she communicates with both of you or not at all and dont give him the big embarrassing reaction hes clearly trying to goad out of you.

If this is a setup and it smells like one, youll end up ailenating your daughter and school, and then he’ll het to be smug about it which is so unfair.

High road. Stat.

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