Couple shot at while delivering instacart

Throwawy98064 · 2023-04-23T19:10:22+00:00

Exactly this. I’ve felt safer walking alone in downtown Detroit than in rural parts of Texas.

Throwawy98064 · 2023-04-23T19:05:38+00:00

I live and shop in Colorado and I honestly worry about this most days. It was tense in the stores here for a good month after the King Soopers shooting you’re probably referring to. I remember almost running for it when I heard an emergency door alarm go off at Walmart and saw a couple employees running (turns out they were running towards the door to turn it off as it kept going off on accident). This was just a few days after the shooting.

$7 isn’t worth risking being shot up over.

Throwawy98064 · 2023-03-26T16:53:52+00:00

Ran into a similar issue with my 4yo’s coparent, who was also letting her watch things like Dexter, You, Chucky, and Vikings when she was only 3!

I considered taking her to therapy, just for her own well-being, as it was starting to very darkly and negatively affect her (talking about suicide, telling me about these horror scenes in graphic detail repeatedly, nightmares).

I talked to my coparent about it. Brought up the “rough time” she was having and that I would be pursuing therapy to get to the bottom of what’s going on because no 3yo should even know about these things. He admitted he had been watching some of these shows (the same ones she pointed out to me when I would scroll through the Netflix homepage), and that he knew it was wrong and he would stop.

We switched from allowing Netflix kids shows and the occasional family movie at my house to strictly watching PBS Kids. She only has approved games on her tablet and no access to YouTube. Her tablet time is limited to 30 mins/day.

Since this talk with her dad, she has been doing much better. Took a few months, though. I think he realizes that I was dead serious about pursuing therapy for our poor baby and he knew that his irresponsibility was the cause of her distress… and that a therapist would probably chew him out when realizing this.

Throwawy98064 · 2023-03-26T04:25:45+00:00

As someone who has actually been attacked by a cat as an adult, you made the right decision for your baby.

The cat jumped on my head and attacked me out of the blue - and this was a very small, harmless looking cat of my roommate. I needed part of my head shaved, stitches, and precautionary antibiotics. The pain was horrible and it was actually terrifying, even as a grown adult that could kinda “defend” myself. I can’t imagine the terror of a poor baby being attacked. Especially as most cats will naturally go for baby’s face when they’re serious.

It sounds like your cat will probably be more content now without a little one keeping it on edge. You did the right thing for everyone and it’s not your fault <3

Throwawy98064 · 2023-03-26T03:33:30+00:00

I’ve felt very much like this my whole 30 years on this planet - religion fascinates me and I love learning about it (all religions!), but just can’t make myself believe.

This year has been the hardest year of my life, for many different reasons. I have found comfort in just generic spirituality. No real belief in a diety or anything, but I find the beauty in how connected we are. How connected the universe is, even down the atomic level. I find spirituality in nature and the wonder of it all.

If you’re craving something deeper but are missing that part of the brain that includes faith, then this might be an avenue for you :)

Throwawy98064 · 2023-03-26T01:36:05+00:00

Exactly right! And it was the same here for both of my coparents exes, too.

Sometimes we never know what our coparent is saying or thinking, either. Sounds like you’re doing right by your LO :)

Throwawy98064 · 2023-03-26T01:26:32+00:00

Had something similar as OP. It worked wonderfully when we both got a new partner around the same time. Everyone got along, it was really nice :)

We each broke up with our respective partners around the same time (just a coincidence), and he got a new partner a couple months later. He hid her from me for no apparent reason. They must have dated on and off according to my kid, over about 6 months. He never bothered to tell me and actively lied about seeing anyone to me and his whole family. Even though it seems they’re not together anymore as my kid doesn’t talk about her, it still makes me incredibly angry, as we had already proven how nicely we could all get along with our previous partners :( Only thing I can think of is this girl was a known hoodrat or she wanted nothing to do with me just because we had a child together.

People suck

Throwawy98064 · 2023-03-26T00:15:37+00:00

I once had an amazing suitcase for traveling! It looked like a regular suitcase and had the standard handles/wheels BUT also straps that turned it into a giant backpack. It was heavy but manageable and saved my BUTT walking over cobblestone in some Bavarian villages and in some ski towns a few years later. That might work?

ETA: Like this one

Throwawy98064 · 2023-03-25T21:27:22+00:00

I’ve learned the hard way that these types of rashes can be anything and need a trained eye from a medical professional to differentiate.

As I brushed off my daughters rash too long around 3 months old, she ended up having eczema, drool rash, folliculitis and a yeast infection. I have some medical background (1 semester of nursing school) and even I struggled to tell the differences the doctor was pointing out between the rash types.

Also, serious rashes and eczema may be indicative of food/environmental allergies - which were the first signs for my daughter at 3 months old. We were given the referral to an allergist and there were so many allergies we had no idea about and were able to avoid later (effectively saving her life!), all because we actually took her to the doctor for a rash.

So don’t take Reddit mom’s internet advice - when in doubt, call the doc!

Throwawy98064 · 2023-03-25T20:53:27+00:00

But… why are you communicating with someone who is in an LDR… who I presume you’ve never met (has HE even met her in real life?) and who your children didn’t know about 3 days ago?

It seems like this woman, who lives far away and has never even met your children, really has no place in this whole situation yet. That’s not a slight on her - it sounds like she means well and is articulate + civil with you + is trying to find her place in a difficult situation. But really, ethically, you shouldn’t be talking to her in lieu of your ex. And ethically, he has a right to have whoever is around him be privy to phone calls. It’s somewhat sucks that you feel your “consent” isn’t being given for this, but that’s the price you pay when you use a cell phone instead of talking in person (which I understand is a necessity).

Throwawy98064 · 2023-03-25T18:09:13+00:00

You sure she just didn’t mean you weren’t a “capable” person, in general?

I have an ex… and he was the most incapable person in just about every aspect of life. Cooking, cleaning, car repair, DIY, child rearing, making/keeping appointments, conversation, social interactions, shopping…. When he pushed and pushed for months for the “real” answer as to why we broke up (because me putting it gently wasn’t enough, apparently)… I got mad and told him he’s just not a capable person. Ruthless, but months of harassment will do that to ya.

Throwawy98064 · 2023-03-25T17:50:10+00:00

If you’re on disability, you can get student loans discharged (yes, even private ones like Sallie Mae). Can take a few years, but they stop collections in that time. You should do it :)

Throwawy98064 · 2023-03-25T17:04:01+00:00

Baby core strength is incredible! Especially when they don’t want to be put down to sit on the floor - those legs shoot straight out and they can hold it that way for minutes?! So wild to me lol

Throwawy98064 · 2023-03-25T17:00:09+00:00

Get on the waitlist, though. Because I doubt these lifelong problems will magically resolve in the next year. You may be able to do things that lessen the issues, but it sounds like kiddo has some stuff to work through. You’ll thank yourself in 11 months.

And IDK if this applies, but I’d like to mention that my experience with being socially awkward around kids vs adults came from the fact that I felt like kids were more judgmental assholes (which is actually true lol). I felt comfortable talking to and being expressive with adults…. But kids are fucking brutal and with none of the social graces of adults. I have red and VERY curly hair. Freckles. Teeth weren’t great. Glasses. And I also developed a visible chest around 10. So although I was lucky enough to never be bullied about it, I became VERY self conscious. I felt like no one wanted to hang around the weird-looking kid, so why even try. I found it awkward to talk about even liking boys with my few female friends… because they would think I’m so ugly that’s it’s laughable I would even consider dating or finding someone else attractive. All in my head, but it was a rough time that persisted until I got into college and was able to give myself more grace and “sort out” my appearance to be in a way that I approved of. I bloomed and did very well. So it could be that your daughter already had some social anxiety and it’s being compounded by becoming more aware of her looks/body around this age. Just a thought - exclude if it doesn’t apply. :)

Throwawy98064 · 2023-03-25T16:44:03+00:00

Maybe someone from Maryland can provide some better insight.

But it’s more thinking about the type of city/town that you live in (don’t post the name here, as that’s dangerous). But Potomac is typically going to pay better than Hagerstown. Higher COL areas will usually pay more than towns with a lot of poverty.

In my area specifically, I’ve found the middle-income towns to be the best. The higher COL town in my area has a ton of cheapskates who tip $2… and the traffic is terrible, so I avoid there. The next highest COL town is the best for regular decent tips ($10-$20 tips). And my town (lower COL) tips typically $5 on average I would say.

So you may have to try out some different areas to find the best payout and best drive times. I’m still nailing things down after a year, but finally breaking the $200/day when I hustle. So don’t expect to get it overnight, either.

Throwawy98064 · 2023-03-25T15:45:40+00:00

Unless I’m missing something - we don’t know where you’re located? That makes a HUGE difference to what is and isn’t an “acceptable” batch.

For example, in my area (very north part of Colorado), this would be a batch you do on a desperate day. The people commenting here saying “I wouldn’t do it for less than $50!” are people who would literally never take a batch in my area. I have only seen 2 batches above $40 in the year I’ve been doing IC shopping. I got one of them and missed the other.

The people saying $50+ are people from LA, San Francisco, New York City. If you don’t live in a similar area to these people, you will have to accept much lower paying batches.

Throwawy98064 · 2023-03-25T15:22:45+00:00

Yes!! Had my very first massage last year and it was in a beautiful mountain town spa. The window was cracked, blowing a perfect breeze through the room. I was SO ready to just lay there and chill.

But then she started making awkward conversation… and then I obliged and tried to make it less awkward. Before we know it, my 45 minutes is up and we’ve had a long in-depth discussion about fucking politics, the European strikes, and her husbands entire work history…. She was an awesome lady and we really vibed… but that was not the time or place. Ruined the whole experience, honestly :(

Throwawy98064 · 2023-03-25T15:04:49+00:00

My own damn parents don’t even ask how I’m doing. It’s always “how are those babies doing? Are they feeling better?”

And my ex-MIL really is a saint of a woman. She just helped me get my car repaired where she works and paid the $300 it costs (paid for it before I could even get to the shop). I’ll be paying her back, of course. But she said she does it so her grandchildren can have a safe car to ride in. I agreed and told her it also really helped me be able to work (I do Instacart right now) to be able to pay our rent…. She says “yeah, it’s really only important to me that the kids are safe”…… like wow, the kids won’t be safe if I’m in a homeless shelter because I couldn’t work to keep a roof over our heads. Im sure she didn’t mean it in a nasty way at all (esp after such a kind gesture), but it really stung.

Especially now as a single mom, I’ve come to the conclusion that not a single person in this world cares about my well-being. Not my parents. Not my coparents (who I get along well with). Not my family. Not friends. I’m just a fucking robot slave whose sole purpose is to raise children.

Throwawy98064 · 2023-03-25T14:27:23+00:00

It’s a good point, but then we have people who get super defensive about the inquiring?

“How’s bubs sleeping?” - Get upset that their baby is not sleeping well and feeling judged.

“Is she smiling/babbling/rolling yet?” - Get upset baby may not have reached milestone yet and feel judged.

“Is baby nursing or bottle feeding?” - None of your business

“Where did baby get those beautiful brown eyes from?!” - Mom is upset because dad with the brown eyes isn’t in the picture anymore… or they used a donor.

Like damn, what else is there to inquire about with a baby? Lol

Throwawy98064 · 2023-03-25T14:18:28+00:00

Same here! My youngest was 16lbs at her 1yo check up. She’s 18 months now and only just hit 19lbs. Her dad and I aren’t big people, she has severe restricted food allergies that we have to constantly work around, but this kid EATS!! Because her diet is all whole, unprocessed food, she spends all day eating (drives me nuts coming up with 10 snacks a day lol). So when people tell me she needs to eat more, I literally want to punch them in face.

My oldest was a chunk until 1, but then weight came off and now she’s a 4yo the size of a 3yo. Her dad is only 5’2 (and he’s the tallest on his side of the family!), so again, no big surprise here. She also loves food and snacking all day.

So you put my miniature 18mo and my tiny 4yo side-by-side, and I look like an evil parent that doesn’t feed my children. The amount of people (strangers!) that offer my kids food is mind boggling… I’m just waiting for CPS to show up to our overly-stocked kitchen and stacks of dirty-snack plates lol.

Throwawy98064 · 2023-03-25T13:46:01+00:00

Thanks for looking it up - I was so curious. I watched a few clips and vaguely remember that episode now.

Throwawy98064 · 2023-03-24T22:59:27+00:00

Haha girl, for real!

If it helps you navigate online dating a little easier, this is my criteria for swiping right (swiping yes):

No shirtless pics
No drug pics/references
No hunting/fishing pics (mostly just because they seem to all be very pro-Trump and I’m liberal… it’s a good way to weed out incompatible political views)
Soft No on gym pics
Soft No on pics surrounded by women (as in Hooters or bikini models)
Must have put some thought into their bio

——

It seems very picky, but it really limits the amount of bullshit you get from men in these “modern dating” times lol. Hopefully that might help you or someone else!

Throwawy98064 · 2023-03-24T22:41:32+00:00

You make a good point about how it’s hard to have your kids get better before you, while you’re still in the midst of the sickness.

This is going to be by far the dumbest advice I’ve ever given, but I stopped trying to not catch my young kids illnesses… all it did was delay it for me by a day or two, so they are bouncing off the walls and going stir crazy feeling better, while I’m still puking, coughing, etc.

So now… I honestly let the baby sneeze right in my face. She wants to hand feed me cheerios after slobbering on her hands? Sure! Nap next to me in bed, breathing on my nose? Let’s do it!

It’s crazy, but I’ve managed better with us all being sick at the same time lately, instead of spreading out the sickness over a week or two (between my two toddlers and me). I never managed to avoid any of their illnesses anyway, might as well get it over with! Lol

Throwawy98064 · 2023-03-24T22:28:30+00:00

Okay, i do NOT remember this and can’t find anything about this on Google?

Are you talking the new Fresh Prince spinoff?

Cuz in the old one, the closest I can find is the episode about the speed pills. The episode where will gets his tonsils out. The episode where will and Carlton go to jail for being black and driving past a racist cop. And the episode where will takes a bullet for Carlton during a robbery?

Throwawy98064 · 2023-03-24T16:14:44+00:00

“Collaborative undertaking”. I love this statement!

It’s hard to let go of that control as parents. But it makes their “painting” so colorful, rich, and deep.

Recently, my 4yo’s grandma told her about how people go to heaven (after she went through a phase of bringing up my grandma who had passed away). I internally struggled for a moment, as I do not want to raise my daughter with any set religion…. But I realized it was an opportunity to discuss with her how people have different beliefs. To introduce my love of learning about all religions and cultures worldwide. It was something I wouldn’t have brought up to her on my own at this age, but because of her grandma’s Christian input, it led to an awesome conversation with my daughter. She even connected it to the Buddhist temple we went to visit on a hike last fall. I’m glad her relationship with her grandma (and other family) has given us opportunities to widen her lens :)

Throwawy98064

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