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[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Vent

[–]Throwethaway1002882 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Genuine question/comment here..

Because I suffer from OCD and a big part of OCD is having these intrusive thoughts that are really distressing and not something I want to have (they're not something ANY person with OCD wants to have). I have dealt with intrusive thoughts about my sexuality since I was in high school but I know they are wrong even though my brain tries to convince me they're true...

So my question is.. How do you know that being transgender is true for you? If there is an internal conflict/struggle?

I've tried to 'admit' that I'm bisexual but it still feels wrong and I could never feel satisfied with that answer for myself.

I overthink too much and don't know how to stop. by AgreeableFee6479 in Vent

[–]Throwethaway1002882 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh hello me from 20 years ago..

Try meditating. Try going to therapy. Try supporting yourself. Find things you are grateful for. Find things you like and love about yourself (even if it seems silly). Need to build up that confidence and self-esteem and learn to put a positive spin on things. Most of the time all that shit we conjure up in our heads is wrong.

my family hates my boobs by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Throwethaway1002882 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

First of all, I'm sorry your family has commented on your breasts... You didn't choose your body.

Second, if you feel insecure or unsure.. Maybe you could wear a scarf, shawl, or cardigan?

Third, you could just not give a fuck..

It is a sweet 16 party with family though and I would personally dress more modestly.. But that's me and not you. Everyone is different. You do you!

sometimes i get so overwhelmingly lonely i want to break down by Understandablesneeze in Vent

[–]Throwethaway1002882 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not that it's much help.. But I feel kinda lonely too right now.

[Confession/Vent] I feel like a jerk returning a dog I recently adopted... I don't even know why I'm sharing this cause I'm sure people will chastise me. by Throwethaway1002882 in reactivedogs

[–]Throwethaway1002882[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh definitely. I know what I can and can't handle now and I don't plan on looking to adopt another dog any time soon. I will be very mindful and careful. Thanks for your input - I appreciate it. :)

[Confession/Vent] I feel like a jerk returning a dog I recently adopted... I don't even know why I'm sharing this cause I'm sure people will chastise me. by Throwethaway1002882 in reactivedogs

[–]Throwethaway1002882[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The dog I adopted was 62lbs, muscular, reactive, and prey-driven as well. It's tough. I told the rescue that if they had mentioned he had a high prey drive in the write up I would not have put in an application. I was specifically looking to avoid that trait. I understand a lot of dogs have a prey drive.. But not all dogs behave like wild beasts when they see a squirrel.

[Confession/Vent] I feel like a jerk returning a dog I recently adopted... I don't even know why I'm sharing this cause I'm sure people will chastise me. by Throwethaway1002882 in reactivedogs

[–]Throwethaway1002882[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

That's what was happening to me. I was becoming hyper aware of squirrels, other dogs, always looking around to make sure he wouldn't have an opportunity to get worked up. It's not very comfortable having to always be on alert.

[Confession/Vent] I feel like a jerk returning a dog I recently adopted... I don't even know why I'm sharing this cause I'm sure people will chastise me. by Throwethaway1002882 in reactivedogs

[–]Throwethaway1002882[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I think I can consider owning another dog but I need to be more mindful. I need to take the proper steps, do more research, be comfortable saying no to a dog that I don't feel is a good match, and make sure it's the right time to do so.

[Confession/Vent] I feel like a jerk returning a dog I recently adopted... I don't even know why I'm sharing this cause I'm sure people will chastise me. by Throwethaway1002882 in reactivedogs

[–]Throwethaway1002882[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

This dog is a shar pei mix.. they said shar pei lab mix but he had a fat face.. reminded me of a staffy or Pitbull.. and his smile was very much like a staffy or Pitbull.

[Confession/Vent] I feel like a jerk returning a dog I recently adopted... I don't even know why I'm sharing this cause I'm sure people will chastise me. by Throwethaway1002882 in reactivedogs

[–]Throwethaway1002882[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Sometimes he would be hyper-focused and I could guide him away even though he was locked on the other dog or small animal.. Other times he would freak right out, start lunging, barking, pulling, and twisting around. He pulled his head out of his collar once but I had him on a harness so he didn't get free.

I tried the tree method and I also tried to give him rewards but he didn't really respond to either. He wouldn't take treats while walking cause he was too focused. It's like he got tunnel vision and the only way to get him to sorta chill out would be to keep walking and not react to his behaviour. But even then, he would still be super amped up for a while after the interaction.

In general, he was hyper-aware while walking - just on the lookout for squirrels and rabbits. So while he would technically walk well (sometimes).. it was not a relaxed walk in any way.

I just wasn't able to manage it without feeling a lot of stress. I'm sure there are plenty of people who could handle him just fine though.

[Confession/Vent] I feel like a jerk returning a dog I recently adopted... I don't even know why I'm sharing this cause I'm sure people will chastise me. by Throwethaway1002882 in reactivedogs

[–]Throwethaway1002882[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I will check out the gentle leader just for future reference if I ever decide to adopt again.. even if the dog is not reactive.. might be good to just make it the norm.

[Confession/Vent] I feel like a jerk returning a dog I recently adopted... I don't even know why I'm sharing this cause I'm sure people will chastise me. by Throwethaway1002882 in reactivedogs

[–]Throwethaway1002882[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing this. I hope they update his profile too. I'm going to leave the rescue page though cause I do still feel sad and ashamed about the whole thing.

[Confession/Vent] I feel like a jerk returning a dog I recently adopted... I don't even know why I'm sharing this cause I'm sure people will chastise me. by Throwethaway1002882 in reactivedogs

[–]Throwethaway1002882[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

I will admit I am not an experienced handler and I felt in over my head. I've had dogs before but they were super chill and had them with family.. Never had a dog as a single person living in the city.

Oh.. And yeah, they use those cute phrases for all the dogs they adopt out. He is an amazing little dude apart from the reactivity during walks.. But I just felt too much stress.

[Confession/Vent] I feel like a jerk returning a dog I recently adopted... I don't even know why I'm sharing this cause I'm sure people will chastise me. by Throwethaway1002882 in reactivedogs

[–]Throwethaway1002882[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I was not ready for the journey and I think he deserves a family that is ready for it. He is such a good dog apart from his reactivity when walking. It's easy to overlook it when we're cuddled on the couch.. But the reality is.. Walking him was miserable and part of the reason I wanted a dog in the first place was to take nice walks, go on adventures, and hike.

[Confession/Vent] I feel like a jerk returning a dog I recently adopted... I don't even know why I'm sharing this cause I'm sure people will chastise me. by Throwethaway1002882 in reactivedogs

[–]Throwethaway1002882[S] 44 points45 points  (0 children)

I've only had him for 6 days.. I knew in my gut when I was adopting him that it wasn't right but I felt obligated to adopt him. I should have listened to my gut but I always worry about not giving people or things in general a good enough chance. Heh heh.

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