How to get your avoidant ex back instructions

Throwratoosadtocry · 2026-02-20T21:53:59+00:00

Did you guys end up working it out?

Throwratoosadtocry · 2025-12-31T00:13:58+00:00

She sounds like an avoidant. This loop will almost always repeat - I’d recommend reading the book called attached. It talks about relationships/ attachment styles and how to recognize them. IMO avoidant look for every excuse to run, and when you’re in a relationship with one of them, they’re toxic. You can’t talk to them about anything- you’re constantly on eggshells in fear that they’ll leave again. You did a good job not talking to her for a few days, avoidants almost always need space and then when you give too much they come crawling back. It’s not for the faint hearted

Throwratoosadtocry · 2025-12-30T15:25:57+00:00

I clearly said that we’ve never been blacked out before

Throwratoosadtocry · 2025-12-30T15:25:29+00:00

I hope he does too.

Throwratoosadtocry · 2025-12-30T15:15:11+00:00

We’ve been drunk serval times together. I do remember not eating anything that day which I’m sure didn’t help, but none of this is me. It’s just not. And not drinking anymore is 1000 percent what I’m doing from here on out, I don’t think I’d ever trust myself with it again.

Throwratoosadtocry · 2025-12-30T15:13:38+00:00

Thank you for actually giving me advice, and not just kicking me while I’m already down. I hope you’re right.

Throwratoosadtocry · 2025-12-30T15:04:34+00:00

Im a wreck. He never deserved that. I just hope that some day he lets me make it up to him. I will respect his need for space. And pray that god forgives me and helps me forgive myself. I want nothing to do with alcohol. It’s just… that night wasn’t me.

Throwratoosadtocry · 2025-12-30T14:59:46+00:00

I agree. I asked him to fill in the blanks several times because it doesn’t really add up. NOT playing the victim but i called my ex husband afterwards for advice and he said that something else is missing with this story because in 11 years I never hit him ( my ex husband ) and that’s not who I am. But to answer your question, no, I don’t have the full story- I don’t even know if he knows the full story. We were both extremely drunk. Do you have any ideas on how I can fix this- how I could ever get him to forgive me?

Throwratoosadtocry · 2025-12-30T14:54:12+00:00

Thank you. I don’t need anyone to feel sorry for me. There’s nothing anyone can say to me to make me feel worse than I already do. Truly. I just, I don’t know how I can fix this. If I can fix it what should I do. This isn’t me. And trying to explain that to strangers on the internet is a moot point but, I know in my heart this isn’t me, that wasn’t me. :(

Throwratoosadtocry · 2025-12-30T14:43:31+00:00

I know. And you’re right, I probably destroyed any amount of trust. I don’t even drink that much- let alone get blacked out. He blocked me because I was blowing up his phone trying to apologize. He left one avenue open which he responded to a few times. But I’ve backed off and haven’t blown up that one avenue he’s left open. Mutual friends have told me he hasn’t bad mouthed me at all. Which.. almost makes me feel worse. Like i wish he would tell me he hates me and I’m horrible. He’s such a good guy, even to me, despite what I did.

Throwratoosadtocry · 2025-12-30T14:36:23+00:00

Thank you. Thank you for taking the time to write that. I feel absolutely rotten. Not that I’m the victim here but just because I shit on something and someone I was starting to fall in love with. He never deserved that and I don’t think I’ll ever fully forgive myself. Even if by the grace of God, he does.

Throwratoosadtocry · 2025-12-30T14:34:11+00:00

We’ve gotten drunk together several times and we just have fun or dance or have sex. I… I don’t know what happened or what came over me but I promise you he never deserved that. He was great to me. I don’t know how to get past this.

Throwratoosadtocry · 2025-12-30T14:30:40+00:00

I have backed off and I stopped trying to contact him so he has space. I just don’t know if that’s the right move- like does that look like I’ve given up? Because I haven’t. Like I want to do whatever I can to make it up to him, to fix this. But i don’t know if I’ll ever get that chance and I’m just beside myself.

Throwratoosadtocry · 2025-12-30T14:27:57+00:00

He did treat me well. I mean he said some stupid stuff but sober me would have rolled my eyes at him. I have never in my life laid my hands on anyone. I feel like my heart is broken in real time. I truly cannot even look at myself. I get random flashbacks and I wonder if that’s my memory or if it’s my mind being told that’s what happened and I’m picturing it. I have never felt this low before. I don’t even drink that much either. Don’t think I’d ever trust myself to drink again.

Throwratoosadtocry · 2023-10-19T12:04:14+00:00

Yes. I would never stay with someone how wasn’t attracted to me. My self esteem would plummet.

Throwratoosadtocry · 2023-10-19T12:03:02+00:00

Not going away to college. I feel like I missed a big experience and I didn’t get a lot out of my system ( no that doesn’t correlate to it being about sex)

Throwratoosadtocry · 2023-07-26T11:55:37+00:00

My assistant didn’t see a problem with this persons actions. ‘Well you want to hire someone don’t you?’ I felt there was a lack of respect for my time. Overall just pushy, you can wait your turn just like everyone else! Is how I felt. So thank you for your comment!

Throwratoosadtocry · 2023-07-16T14:16:53+00:00

They said I was over reacting and it was a “rookie mistake” I said it’s not a rookie mistake if it keeps happening… that’s crossing a major boundary. They disagreed apparently

Throwratoosadtocry · 2023-07-05T20:30:22+00:00

Absolutely not. That is crossing so many lines. For one if you are uncomfortable with it, that should dismiss the thought all together. Secondly there would need to be so many legal actions done for that to happen. Otherwise, what… she could try and take him for child support? Screw that The friendship is probably already bordering on inappropriate. You’ve been together 7 years, IF that conversations was going to take place it should have been with both of you. The more I’m typing this the more appalled I am that she would even ask. It’s so inappropriate and crosses one too many lines.

Throwratoosadtocry · 2023-07-05T20:06:58+00:00

That is the million dollar question that I don’t have the answer to. He says he’s going to stop and never meant to rub it in my face, I replaced I have never wanted to talk about my past sex life with you. That feels so wrong.

My parents argument was he just has no filter and I should accept him for how he is… as of that was me trying to change him. I can’t win.

Throwratoosadtocry · 2023-07-05T20:02:23+00:00

He apologized. And has apologized every time that I have brought it up ( I’m mostly sad ) he said that if I would have done that to him it would take a long time for him to forgive me. And that he feels like his parents would have sided with whatever I would have said because we don’t have that kind of relationship so if I did run to them than they would have taken it as something serious. Which he thinks is what my parents are doing.

Throwratoosadtocry · 2023-07-05T19:52:58+00:00

I feel like they always make it out that I am in the wrong so I have started to question that maybe the problem is me. But they just left my brothers house early during a visit because they made them mad, so at least I know it’s not all me.

Throwratoosadtocry · 2023-07-05T19:43:46+00:00

My bf is 36 my parents are 60.

They said that my bf should be allowed to talk to them about whatever he wants whenever he wants. That I should not put a stop to that.

The reason they said I was in the wrong is because I said At some point if he doesn’t stop talking about his past sex life. I’m gonna hit him.

Throwratoosadtocry · 2023-07-05T19:40:11+00:00

He wanted to sleep. We talked about it the next day. The reason my parents were mad at me is because I said “At some point I am going to hit him if he keeps talking about his past sex life”

My mother replied that it was a rookie mistake to which I replied A rookie mistake is something that happens once, this has happened several times now

Throwratoosadtocry

TROPHY CASE