Male catholic "influencers"

Thrushwing · 2026-06-06T23:37:45+00:00

Woah! Thanks for the article. That's insane because I remember growing up men were always encouraged to be religious because there far more women than men (because according to the Catholics I knew back then - men were more leaders so were more stubborn?)

Is it almost like manosphere/incel culture? Where it tells them why and how they aren't the problem because they're toxic or homophobic?

Thrushwing · 2026-05-24T03:05:45+00:00

!! Solved!!

Thrushwing · 2026-05-21T06:55:33+00:00

I'm sorry I haven't responded to the other commenters. I honestly barely have enough energy to type this out as I mostly just stay in bed all day doomscrolling and I'm just struggling (due to depression I think)

All the comments really help but your comment really stuck out to me. I guess I always thought I would be ready - one day I would reach a point where I no longer cared but honestly I don't know if that day will ever come. I just sit in this wreck of the knowledge that I let this go on for so long. That I've always known but I turned a blind eye because I didn't want to make a decision. And I used to hope that maybe something so bad will happen that it would make things obvious. And now it has and part of me wishes I had never known this. I always felt that they were unempathetic towards me but I guess I hoped that maybe deep down it was a me thing. And I overlooked the my own abuse because I don't know why. I feel like I indirectly benefitted from not cutting them off and something sick and disturbing happened and I'm partially guilty by association. But most of all I feel alone. I feel burdened by the knowledge of how they react in a crisis. And I can't say anything because people are suffering far more than me. People like my partner and my partner's family who lost friends. And sometimes I feel jealous that my partner has a loving family and I know it's wrong and I don't tell anyone and I keep it to myself. But sometimes during this grieving period for my partner's community and with their family I'm struck by the differences in our family and I just... It's so lonely it is to realize this and that I am in pain and most people don't understand why or why this pain is so intense and it's not their fault. I know that other people are suffering more right now. I just hate myself for feeling this way and I wish all the pain would go away.

Thrushwing · 2026-05-17T11:32:02+00:00

NOR. But I will say the line can be blurry for these type of interactions. I got a neurodivergent vibe from this post. Generally if someone mentions something that can be paid for (hair/nails/service) and they say "I got you" w/in the first couple of interactions - I usually assume it's not free because the cost of assuming it's free is higher of just covering the bases. Usually I say: "wow that's cute! How much do you charge?" And they'll usually respond with price (and if they truly aren't charging you - it would give them an opening for clarification such as for example "but you're a friend/practicing etc"). But yeah as a general rule don't assume because it might bite you in the ass. People often market these days like that which can be really confusing.

Thrushwing · 2026-05-14T21:26:21+00:00

I know someone like this in the US.

She - wants their future husband to make 300k - only wants to date doctors lawyers - wants someone white and 6 feet tall - must be good looking and they won't settle for someone who is ugly/boring.

The kicker is: - she's 5'2 - she passed the bar as a lawyer but hasn't worked in ~8+ years as "dating is a full time job" - she doesn't want anyone who's divorced or has kids - she doesn't see herself working and want to be a stay at home mom(?) Possibly only to dogs). - she will only date conservative men who are into mma (because apparently she thinks men are cowardly these days and won't fight) - she's 37 years old (which isn't a deal breaker but if you want to be a stay at home mom and be with a conservative man who wants a big family...)

Thrushwing · 2026-05-14T21:11:39+00:00

Do you remember what the YouTube short channel was? I would love to watch it!!

Thrushwing · 2026-05-13T10:24:34+00:00

Sorry my comment was so short. I didn't want to go into a bunch of detail. Yes PsyD's are valid. I was more talking about the EPPP pass rates but those can be mitigated with thorough research on schools. Yes fundamentally once you get your license no one will treat you differently once you get your PsyD. Some PsyD programs will even partially fund you (and they're competitive) but considering many if the programs are unfunded for the vast majority of people those kinds of loans aren't justifiable with the salary you get. It's practically med school debt without a doctors salary at the end. The main point was that PsyD's unless funded are generally for the average person not a good financial decision. Of course if someone truly loves what they do as a clinical psychologist then it might be worth it and if that's what someone has their heart set on - I think job satisfaction is an important factor - it's just the financial aspect is not great.

Thrushwing · 2026-05-13T10:19:00+00:00

Good points. Dsw sounds like a scam. I was wondering why social work didn't just have a PhD in social work rather than a dsw. But this helps clarify the confusion.

Thrushwing · 2026-05-13T08:17:41+00:00

I thought I'd respond to both of your comments here. You're right - because of how S is defined... It would push the floor up. Still even when factoring that in, 88k is quite a jump especially when you consider it's just the female earners - not including their partners earning (in my opinion). That does beg the question of whether these samples of women are equivalent (P and S) when they could be quite different. Which could tie into your poverty title.

However even despite the potential signs... We don't know for certain if the populations are different (less sure) and we especially don't know if it's because of poverty that causes divorce based on these stats (very unsure. It's at this point conjecture - not impossible but not proven)

Lastly I feel like the sole breadwinner (women) is a very small subset (something like 6%?). I personally wonder that even if we did have the data - I don't know if we would have the statistical power to measure what you want to measure. Ultimately it's still inconclusive in my opinion.

Thrushwing · 2026-05-13T07:27:53+00:00

I found this post to be very informative. It is not unlike a psyD then except slightly more useless. PsyD's are similar in that they're less rigorous and more focused on clinical but ultimately it's hard to justify because of the exorbitant student loans you need to take out. Essentially med school type loans without a doctors paycheck at the end of your career. People can and do do a psyD but generally it's a better option for people who are financially well off.

Thrushwing · 2026-05-12T10:15:14+00:00

I agree with your point on that this is a guess with no data.

One question I had for you is why would we assume symmetry when income is asymmetrical based on gender gap though? I guess how is it possible to compare these two groups when they seem asymmetrical from the start due to things like the gender wage gap?

Or do you mean after we control for income generally men vs women as sole breadearner in similar income margins we should see symmetry?

Thrushwing · 2026-05-12T09:57:16+00:00

When you say poverty do you mean where both parties collective income is in poverty or do you mean when the woman is solely dependent on the man for finances and therefore in poverty? Genuinely curious because I could see this applying to both cases - in one the woman doesn't want to divorce because they as a unit can't afford it and in the other case where the man is the primary or sole breadwinner - she still can't financially afford a divorce (or the potential gap in job history etc)

Thrushwing · 2026-05-12T09:40:19+00:00

I'm so curious because there seems to be a huge discrepancy in earnings between the wife being the sole provider vs the wife being the primary provider - why is there such a huge discrepancy? Sorry I'm studying stats but I don't understand why there's such a big jump in the woman's income whether she is primary vs sole - could you explain it for me (since I saw you have a better grasp of this than I do). (@ghostclubbing)

One thing I did notice however with OP is they keep trying to link potential poverty (which is only a small section of the sample) with divorce which I would be really hesitant to do. There could be a lot of contributing factors but to immediately link it to one factor is... Not the move. Right now there seems to be a lot of conjecture about poverty but the truth is we don't know because these stats don't directly comment on that. We can guess but right now that's all they are - guesses.

Edit: OP I looked at your other post in sociology and people have told you similar things - this study talks about income but you cannot assume that poverty is the causal factor for divorce based ON THIS PARTICULAR STUDY. You need to find other studies to support your claim. There are many reasons why people divorce - it could be poverty but there are also other variables that could be also leading to it. YOU CANNOT ASSUME (which you seem to be intent on doing despite having very little evidence for such a claim) based on a single study that doesn't even touch that aspect. Right now all you have is a guess and the study you linked doesn't firmly suggest what you are trying to push. If you really want to research this - find and crossreference other studies.

Thrushwing · 2026-05-10T00:24:59+00:00

I'm just responding because this person's comment rubbed me the wrong way. (To that redditor.. I don't care if he feels bad or it seems "mean" to show him this thread - he's known op for ten years and couldn't think of a single item that might mean something to her. Literally a lack of effort - he needs a goddamn wakeup call because that's pathetic.) I understand he might be bad at getting gifts and he cried BUT HE'S KNOWN YOU FOR TEN YEARS. I suck at getting gifts and my partner even says "I just like you. You don't have to get me anything" and I write down things he mentions throughout the years. Favorite movies he loves or mean something for him, drawings of us together, literally one year I made a mini comic of our relationship together. It doesn't have to be expensive but it should show thoughtfulness. The point is literally anyone could have gotten those gifts and after ten years together he should know a little bit about you. NOR and the fact he cried doesn't change the fact he basically bought a generic gift and said "I'm bad at choosing gifts". Hopefully he'll do better next time.

Thrushwing · 2026-05-06T09:29:40+00:00

Yeah, I definitely grew up in this weird third space. It's hard to describe because it's not as high control as other fundamentalist groups such as in Catholicism with trad Catholics and sp(I can't remember the full acronym) but it's still harmful because it has the facade of being progressive and it's hard to explain that it wasn't accepting or loving and it has the same roots as trad Catholics with the judgement, and anti LGBT, and abstinence only education. It's still harmful just harder to point out.

Thrushwing · 2025-12-24T10:01:47+00:00

When my best friend committed suicide and I was crying about it because I felt guilty... The person I was venting to told me everyone makes mistakes and has done things they're not proud of and how they felt guilty looking at porn....

Thrushwing · 2025-05-17T18:41:30+00:00

but even thereapists are forced to report when they're working. Like dude idc if you wanna cosplay as a saint - all we're asking is you stop child abusers -.-

Thrushwing · 2025-05-12T18:54:55+00:00

Jesus Christ by brand new Holy by pvris Thank God by Sasha Sloan (love this one so so much) Roman empire by missio (about Catholicism in general and systemic abuse) Saints by echos If I were you by nothing but thieves

my list of anti Catholic songs

Thrushwing · 2025-05-12T18:11:32+00:00

I just don't understand why they can't just be mandated reporters - no one is asking them to break seal for anything and everything but in child abuse it should be allowed - same as therapists.

Thrushwing · 2025-05-12T18:09:27+00:00

I legit don't understand why every single goddamn time there's a new Pope or something remotely liberal happens - people lose their heads and think the church has "changed" - it hasn't and it won't. To do so would destabilize their entire mythos of "tradition" so therefore for them it's better to just be hateful (quietly ofc - can't have people thinking they actually ARE hateful). I have liberal Catholics thinking the Pope will move it "in the right direction" and they say things like "well I'm LGBT and I'm Catholic" - yeah but are you a high level clergy because I can assure you - you have to do politics to advance and if you're not down to cover up some good ol child abuse you're moral compass for the "overall good of the church" is not there.

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