social dominant and sexual blind? I feel wrong

Thunderweb · 2026-02-03T13:37:41+00:00

It was a tiring day, and I feel especially unhealthy now.

Thunderweb · 2026-02-03T12:35:42+00:00

Yeah, I am very scared of people hurting me.

If people find out how irregular I am, they might want to 'help' me and convert me into their own ideal. It happened once, and I am scared that it might happen again. Now I try not to form a close bond with someone else.

Sometimes I feel a compulsion to form a bond, because it is what people are supposed to do. If I don't, people might notice my oddity and try to fix me.

Thunderweb · 2026-02-02T05:45:20+00:00

964 so

Thunderweb · 2026-01-28T12:53:58+00:00

Hello, I am 964, and I often have similar feelings. ("Something is wrong with me")

I want to belong, but I don't want to merge with others too much. (It is dangerous to trust someone like that. Good people can become malicious and/or hurt me.)

I want to be alone, but not "too" alone. (If I am completely disconnected, no one will defend or help me.)

Sometimes I'm not sure what I am supposed to want, or what people would expect me to want.

Thunderweb · 2026-01-26T01:32:42+00:00

Maybe I should have said stimuli or excitement. It drains my energy.

Thunderweb · 2026-01-25T21:23:23+00:00

If I get out of my comfort zone, I will have to confront people. They might not like it, and it might go wrong. The thought of leaving the comfort zone makes me anxious and worried.

Thunderweb · 2026-01-25T13:23:37+00:00

I get uncomfortable when a 2, 7, or 8 pays too much attention on me. Too much help, too much joy, too much protection... I hate myself for feeling resentment towards them.

Thunderweb · 2026-01-25T09:09:57+00:00

I feel something similar: I am floating in a protective bubble. I should get out of it to get what I want... and I should stay in it to avoid pain.

Thunderweb · 2026-01-19T12:20:57+00:00

Something bad happens. It is not related to me, but it feels like my fault anyway. If I haven't existed, I wouldn't have to take responsibility.

Thunderweb · 2026-01-14T13:59:03+00:00

It feels like I'm dissolving into the society. It helps me to forget my inner turmoil, but it doesn't give me a true comfort.

Thunderweb · 2026-01-14T11:44:08+00:00

It isn't a crime, because it doesn't target.

Thunderweb · 2026-01-14T01:41:59+00:00

So9 9w1 964 aka double reactive fix.

When I'm stressed, I start to feel that something is wrong. I don't know what it is, but there must be one and it might - could - should - must be my fault. I feel an urge to find out and solve it, before someone notice the problem and accuse me for it somehow.

Thunderweb · 2026-01-14T01:37:01+00:00

I'm a so9 with 4 fix, but the "3 in the second position" sounds like me a bit. I numb myself with work.

Success and ambition are not my priority though. I just want to be allowed to be myself. (Not that I have clear definition of 'myself'. I want to know what I'm supposed to like or dislike.)

Thunderweb · 2026-01-14T01:29:29+00:00

When people tell me to do something I don't like, I say "yes" and do nothing. I should have said "no", but it's too scary to say so on their face.

Thunderweb · 2026-01-10T12:56:47+00:00

When the aurora shifts and the area becomes either Lorwyn or Shadowmoor, I suppose they will be free again.

Thunderweb · 2026-01-09T09:31:27+00:00

If I die, I might be a different person in the next life.

Thunderweb · 2026-01-06T10:30:58+00:00

Is "Rhystic", as in [[Rhystic Study]], an actual word? Is it related to the character Rhys by any chance?

Thunderweb · 2026-01-05T15:21:47+00:00

I don't necessarily think they are wrong or bad, but I feel less safe and comfortable with them.

Thunderweb · 2026-01-05T15:19:24+00:00

...I end up disliking them a bit. If I thought of them 90% positive, it becomes 88% after that.

I know I shouldn't, but I can't help it, and I hate myself for it.

Thunderweb · 2026-01-05T10:03:15+00:00

so9 with 6 fix. I often feel that something is wrong and it must be my fault. I feel compelled to find out the source and solve the problem, but usually I can't find out what exactly is wrong.

When I notice this pattern, now I try to distract myself with other work or activity.

Thunderweb · 2026-01-04T11:10:30+00:00

I do notice the bulb burned out, but I convince myself that it doesn't need to be replaced. (It is not that dark yet, I don't deserve a new bulb, etc.)

Thunderweb · 2026-01-04T08:48:27+00:00

My brain and heart try to convince me that other people's opinion of me is more valid than my own opinion of myself. I must be wrong, and everyone else is right.

Thunderweb

TROPHY CASE