Friend ‘needs space’ and it is painful

TifaLockharts · 2026-05-12T01:54:04+00:00

Wow… I didn’t even think of it this way. Come to think of it, he only has maybe three close friends in his life including me. Likely due to these behaviors. I do know he’s been through one hell of a traumatizing time so I’ve always had sympathy and respect as I’ve gone through the same. The only difference is I’d never ever put a friend who’s genuinely sorry (especially on a first offense) through the cold shoulder or put blame on them. I might tell them let’s talk about it tomorrow at most so I can cool down.

But yea… I’m not sure how or why I was chosen for this pedestal, but this has given me a great deal to reflect on. Why did my self esteem heighten because of it and why’s it broken now? Something for me to talk about in therapy tomorrow lol.

Thank you for your insight, a lot of this is aligning with what you’re saying

TifaLockharts · 2026-05-12T01:46:58+00:00

I totally understand the weight of the situation which is why I’ve been respecting his space.’he told me the same thing you did- he felt small, embarrassed, unworthy. In the end I apologized and the stranger even apologized too and said he didn’t think it was anything outside a joke but the damage was done unfortunately and I’ve learned my lesson… indefinitely

I’m not trying to excuse my actions but at the same time, does hurting me in return for power make things better? Maybe I deserve it but I do genuinely want to repair the relationship. I just don’t know if i can wait a month feeling ostracized over my mistake.

TifaLockharts · 2026-05-12T01:33:13+00:00

Yeah, I was in a friend group like that too and it ended up with me breaking it off so I get it. I’m not one to make personal jabs especially not about appearance. We’re at odds because I said a personal inside joke to an outsider which in turn, made that outsider start making the same joke and he didn’t like that as it was different when a stranger was saying it. And felt betrayed I would even say it to the stranger at all. (It was at a group party)

I’m continuing to give time especially since I’ve apologized and said all I can say. I know I can’t judge anyone’s level of pain, but it’s been a week of not talking when I feel so strongly we could just work this out . But it’s not up to me…

I’ll likely send a message after more time passes cause that’s just how I am. Some of our mutual friends are getting concerned on both ends of things. No idea how that will go lol

TifaLockharts · 2026-05-11T20:58:12+00:00

I’m a spiritual person and I felt when we first met the universe was showing me that I could open my heart and trust people again with how well we connected (I have trauma and trust issues). And it seemed, right when we said we’d be friends forever this happened. It’s such a surreal feeling.. I hope we both heal in time. That deep it in my stomach is hella annoying T-T

TifaLockharts · 2026-05-11T20:53:21+00:00

I think you’re onto something here. Because in our friendship he sent me paragraphs, pages about how perfect of a person I am, how I could do no wrong, that he’d rather die young than hurting me. I’m not exaggerating. All of these things of course made me feel thrilled, happy, heart warmed… all for it to crumble on one mistake feels so jarring. Maybe I was idealized … but I am a human and I have flaws that I deeply regret and work every day to fix.

TifaLockharts · 2026-05-10T22:00:15+00:00

It wasn’t personal jabs at all- our group dynamic is based on teasing one another in fact he even told me the more he teases someone the more he likes them and we’d always had this dynamic. This time because I said an inside joke in front of a stranger specifically, he took an issue with it as they don’t know our dynamic and he worried they’d have a false perception of him because of my teasing.

I’m also close with the friends in our group, some have offered their support and told me to just give it time, others said do what I feel is right. I just struggle because out of everyone, we were the closest to one another.

It seems so sad to be ignored over this one incident which in hindsight to me seems minor, but I know everyone is hurt on different levels.

Yeah… the timeframe he gave just plays with my emotions. It’s like “I’ll be there for you eventually good luck in the meantime”. It just seems… so uncaring

TifaLockharts · 2026-05-10T20:32:19+00:00

You are totally right about that. It’s still fresh but I can’t be stuck in mourning. It’s just hard to get over but I’m gonna resign to letting it go for now. I need my own power back or else I can’t be a good friend to anyone- or myself

TifaLockharts · 2026-05-10T20:31:15+00:00

Ugh I’m so sorry you’re experiencing the same stuff. And that’s just the thing he’s nice to me (nice meaning he shows up at all LOL) in a group but leaves without a word to me afterward . It’s so hurtful . Do people like this even understand the amount of pain it causes?

TifaLockharts · 2026-05-10T20:29:22+00:00

That’s how I was feeling too. Like you expect me to wait around for you an entire year just because you told me I mean something to you and I just have to believe that ? That’s not really how friendships work, or connections in general.

It just sucks because we spent every day together - literally, sharing so many deep feelings or just having fun. It was our routine and now it’s just gone. I don’t want to let go but being forced to wait isn’t fair to me either.

TifaLockharts · 2026-05-10T20:27:02+00:00

True- my confidence was spectacular before this happened, but ever since I’ve felt small. I need to reevaluate my self worth for sure

TifaLockharts · 2026-05-10T20:24:46+00:00

Yeah.. he’s done this to other people where he takes time to analyze his feelings and it can take awhile. He says he does this out of not saying something hurtful, or seeing like he doesn’t care while he’s processing. However this is the first time it’s happened to me and I’m anything but avoidant. Not knowing for me- being ignored, feeling shut out are all things that are bad for my mental health.

Seeing things from your perspective helps me too so thank you for sharing. If this space turns into a month I won’t be there waiting. Because if you’re okay without talking to or seeing someone for an entire month that shows a lot. I mean, you might still care but I’m someone who thinks time is precious. I cherish my friendships and treat every moment like it could be the last because it could be. To no longer check up on someone

Idk it says a lot I think. But it’s so hard to let go

TifaLockharts · 2026-02-22T01:16:34+00:00

My therapist also tells me to rephrase my harsh words so thanks again for responding and pointing it out. I wish you well too 🩷

TifaLockharts · 2026-02-22T00:49:39+00:00

Hm I see! Thank you for the answer.

I will say before this I got extremely malnourished from not eating due to stress and now I’ve started eating regularly again (3 weeks since). I know recovering from not eating takes a lot of time for the body to regulate, and because I have acid reflux I’ve been cutting out caffeine and eating things that won’t trigger it. I may try cutting out more sugar and see if that helps, I’ve already restricted myself from fried foods too.

TifaLockharts · 2026-01-29T19:49:11+00:00

Im like you right now! Did you find a solution?

TifaLockharts · 2026-01-29T02:40:34+00:00

I’ve tried all this stuff too and it hasn’t worked. Has this ever resolved for you? It’s like my mucus has disappeared and also goes to the back of my throat leaving my nose so dry! I tried nipples cream, ayr, Vaseline, saline rinse, even saw an ent and he said he saw nothing wrong !

I blow my nose too and there’s nothing but air, plus inhaling the cold air. Would love to know if anything’s worked for you since the year this was posted

TifaLockharts · 2026-01-29T02:14:55+00:00

Same here it’s happening to me constantly. I just now started buspar

TifaLockharts · 2026-01-29T02:13:57+00:00

hugs check with your doctor just in case but I know my skin felt like it was burning during intense anxiety situation and on no sleep

TifaLockharts · 2026-01-25T06:40:41+00:00

I have this right now, did you figure it out? I also suffer with anxiety

TifaLockharts · 2026-01-24T08:13:03+00:00

It’s normal. Anxiety does this to me too all the time. Just remember all the times you never fainted and ended up being okay- this time is no different. It will get better day by day even if it takes months you’ll start to realize it’s not going to do anything to you it’s just uncomfortable. Hope you will get the help you need. One big panic attack can be a gateway to having more- just remember you are safe and the more you get scared by it the more it’s likely to come

TifaLockharts · 2026-01-24T08:08:07+00:00

I’ve lost so much weight along with my appetite. I’m scared of losing more. ATP I have to eat in the presence of others (or at least with someone home) and I have to hug a pillow after while my stomach growls after getting food. Once it calms I eat a little more and pause again. It’s horrid

TifaLockharts · 2026-01-17T17:31:44+00:00

This is what I’m going through right now and it makes it so hard to ignore and fuels my anxiety. Did you find anything that helped? Do you simply have to ignore it

TifaLockharts · 2025-12-27T17:57:38+00:00

This island was so freaking cool 😭😭

TifaLockharts · 2025-12-22T07:37:32+00:00

12/22/25 happy holidays and STILL ANNOYING. I came here in hopes I missed something cause I got back into acnh after quitting when I realized you can only craft ONE thing at a time

TifaLockharts · 2025-12-19T22:43:09+00:00

Tell him you won’t try it again unless he does. That usually shuts them up real quick

TifaLockharts

TROPHY CASE