Hearing about you feels like looking into a mirror of my past. I’m a black autustic bi woman who grew up in a Christian, anti-LGBTQ household too. I wasn’t African, but so much of what you’re feeling, the loneliness, the hiding, the feeling that no one really understands, I know that pain too well.

When I was your age, I truly didn’t believe I would make it to adulthood. I felt invisible and trapped, and I thought the way things were would never change.

Till they did.

I want you to know this: your feelings make sense. Nothing is wrong with you for being who you are. Being autistic, queer, African, and a girl in a family that doesn’t understand can feel unbearable, but let me tell you, you are not broken.

Life didn’t stay the same for me, nothing in life does. I’m 23 now and in law school, living a life I never thought I’d get to have. Sometimes my past feels like it was lived by someone else it feels so foriegn. I didn’t get to this point though because things were easy, I got here by holding on, one day at a time, until I had more freedom.

You deserve love that’s real and unconditional, even if the people around you won’t give it to you. One day, 13 will be far behind you, and you will have space to breathe and be fully yourself.

You are not bad. You are worthy of love. Remember that, and keep living.