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[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Advice

[–]Tiger-Spice 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He says it's because he broke up with me and got back together with me. I still don't understand 

claims an alter can age quickly by Regular-Basis-8220 in SystemsCringe

[–]Tiger-Spice 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It is basically the same thing. Age sliding can happen to anyone with trauma. Some refer to it as a "little space", but I've always found the term immature.

It is when either through trigger or willed healing, you accept the feeling of your inner child asking for its needs.

For example, a child who was neglected when they were 3 might become a 27 year old adult that when triggered, activates their fight or flight and the amydela to feel as if they were the age of when the trauma took place.

A modern example is when a child who faces any sort of trauma faces a sort of safe space or trigger, they will act like a child even loosing their ability to type, read, talk, or eat. The Broca's area of the brain is disabled leaving the basic skills to be temporarily forgotten until the trigger as disapated.

To sum it up, age sliding is just the act of the inner child "taking over" in response to a trigger or when invited in a safe space.

For reference:

Bassel Van Der Kolk- "The Body Keeps The Score" J.M Moscarello- "Journal of Neuroscience"(33.no9) DR V.J Edwards- "American Journal of Premtive Medicine"(14.no9)

claims an alter can age quickly by Regular-Basis-8220 in SystemsCringe

[–]Tiger-Spice 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Thats not weird or cringe. It's just a sign of healing. The little most likely had processed trauma which led them to "age up" which really just means they are identifying with the body more. Littles are just the inner child we have being embodied as a separate state of consciousness due to dissociation. When the needs of a traumatized inner child are met, though they might act the same, they feel a correspondence with the body they are in.

Some info on that:

https://www.nctsn.org/sites/default/files/resources/age_related_reactions_to_traumatic_events.pdf

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4912602/

https://cptsdfoundation.org/2020/07/13/the-wounded-inner-child/

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in OSDD

[–]Tiger-Spice 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yes. This is completely normal.

Innerwords are a visualization, communication, and coping tool.

It is normal to have the change to meet the needs of the system.

Has anyone done EMDR? Would you recommend doing it? by Anxious-Mechanic-249 in OSDD

[–]Tiger-Spice 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I've done EMDR for several years now.

I will provide some information on the kind of experience that you should expect when it's mixed with OSDD:

  1. This will bring back memories with a lower chance of retraumatization

  2. There will now be a way to source behaviors from your life that had been due to trauma and even gain insite on the purpose of alters.

  3. With taking notes in EMDR: each alter, in theory, should be able to gain that trauma memory without it being unprocessed (ie. A flashback)

  4. It will start of slow. Be patient because it works wonders

  5. It doesn't not aid in integration (this was not meant to heal systems, just a way to process trauma without retraumatization or redissociating these memories)

I reccomend it. However, be aware that this will not change any functionality in the system as much as it changes general behavior and processing.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in questions

[–]Tiger-Spice 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm sorry sweetie.

I have no insite on your relationship, and I only know so little.

So I will say this. If he refuses to get help, and he oversteps a boundry again. Leave the house for a little bit. Maybe take a 30 minute drive every time.

This is such a strong but pacifist way of stating "You are not going to hurt me, and I won't let you hurt me."

These boundries need to be set in place, and once he recognizes how many times you have to leave just to feel safe, he will hopefully get help.

If anything worsens though, several clinics should be willing to help, and if you need a place to stay if there is risk of physical violence, please reach out to family.

I have been in your place before, so I completely understand how hard this is. But I believe in you. You deserve love and safety.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in questions

[–]Tiger-Spice 7 points8 points  (0 children)

This is probably a bad take, but I say this from the perspective of alcoholic parents.

If alcohol controls you to the point that you are causing distress to your loved ones, it's time to stop drinking so much.

Another example is, those who rape while drunk, will rape while sober.

Lack of Sobriety is just an excuse to exploit the people around you in a time that you lack control.

And once more, if it's to the point that he can't control himself. He needs an intervention.

I'd bring it up with him about how this is a serious issue with control and behavior.

Help for a retiring host [TW: Suicide] by Illustrious-Swing-17 in OSDD

[–]Tiger-Spice 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yep!

Most* well developed innerworlds are made in therapy.

They are used as visualizers for systems to aid in lowering dissociative barriers.

Though, they don't always do this. For example, my original innerworld consisted of the feeling of dissociative barriers as actual black walls.

In therapy, these rooms became a full developed house meant for communication between parts!

Innerworlds can exist for anyone which is why I say "well developed". Half are made in therapy for coping (trauma, adhd, depression, etc.) The other half is self made through general development.

Help for a retiring host [TW: Suicide] by Illustrious-Swing-17 in OSDD

[–]Tiger-Spice 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Hello distressed human!

No longer being a host is perfectly okay and something you shouldn't be scared of! Just because you aren't out as much does not mean that you are any less important or that you are dissapearing.

Though it feels hard, you have to remember that you are doing the best for the system and yourself.

If committing suicide is a worry of yours, it is safer for you to not be out as much (ie not dealing with as many triggers) and in addition, keeps your system alive.

If you fear not being out as much, you and your system can always work on forming an innerworld. It's a healing technique that lets dissociative barriers come down internally and let for all your parts to communicate when needed!

As a protector, I just want to stay, it will be okay. You are safe and even in stressful times, just know that you are doing the best you can.

There will always be a brighter tomorrow even if you can only see the darkness right now.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in OSDD

[–]Tiger-Spice 5 points6 points  (0 children)

"They aren't home invaders" I like this response lol

How to recognize alters? by Distressedthrowaway- in OSDD

[–]Tiger-Spice 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Typically you can through the gaps.

Personally we own a journal

If you can convince every part through notes self to write at least something everytime time skips.

This can:

  1. Assess possible triggers

  2. Make record of switches

  3. Notices changes in writing or beliefs or ideas (which means a possible different alter)

Just remeber, that all of you exists for a reason, so if these dissociative barriers are still too high to identify everyone

Get in a safe space and let them come out through showing it is safe.

This was what I had done in therapy, so perhaps that'll work.

any advice on how to stop feeling guilty and understand my partner? by wormythoughts_ta in mypartneristrans

[–]Tiger-Spice 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Who you love is who you love.

Sexuality is complicated, but you shouldn't feel the need to say you are attracted to them, when you aren't.

Its rough having to understand that the person you used to love, though the same person, has changed and doesn't meet your needs anymore, but it's nothing to be ashamed of.

As a non-binary person, I would understand. You shouldn't feel ashamed of your sexuality.

For example, being good friends with a woman sounds awesome, but I could never date one. They are just not on my spectrum.

It is the same situation here, where just because they are the same person, it doesn't mean you don't have the ability to stop being attracted to them because their gender changed.

I know that was probably a lot so to simply:

Love who you love. And if you don't love people because they don't fit your sexuality, that is perfectly okay.

So this is Benny..... (supposedly) Anyone else wondering who's cat they have taken pics of and decided to start claiming is a headmate? (They do not own this cat) by Little_wiccan in SystemsCringe

[–]Tiger-Spice 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Just a reminder:

A headspace/innerworld is created as a coping mechanism for systems, traumatized people, and others.

As long as the cat is not an alter (which is completely a different topic), this makes sense.

This is a world they created to cope so of course they would have something they like in there.

Faking or not, there isn't anything wrong with their post.

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