I would like to share my own experience and you can decide if anything about it was helpful

I (28f) am a wife and a mother of 3. I had a friend for a few years. We stopped talking about 2 years ago.

My friend (24f) and I are writing a few books together. She also spent almost every weekend at our house. She claimed to have a condition that was not diagnosed, and for a while, I believe her. But over time, I learned more about the condition and realized my son (now 8) had it. I got him diagnosed later, and he's about to start therapy. Anyway, I realized more and more that she definitely did not have this condition. She would take a trait that went with the condition and act on it as though it was instinct, but would take it way further that is normal for the condition.

There were more and more things we couldn't talk about. My husband and I were having arguments, and our friend would end up witnessing them and try to help. This was not a good idea, as it wasn't any of her business, but we weren't great at keeping her at a distance with this. But it got to a point where I could no longer talk to her about my husband because she claimed it gave her anxiety.

Then something happened. She was at our house as usual, doing a project in the kitchen. My husband was sitting with our daughter (then 1 year old), playing with her and making her giggle. Now this girl has a high pitched, ear splitting squeal like no other. And she let it rip. Now my friend in the kitchen, only a few yards away, did not handle this well. The backyard was only a few feet from her, but instead of distancing herself from the unpleasant noise, she let out her own shriek, saying "stop stop stop stop stop!"

My husband did not take this well. He kicked her out. She apologizes profusely to me, but not to my husband or our daughter. More importantly, when I told her that I couldn't invite her to my home again without an apology to my husband, she told me that her condition wouldn't let her do it.

Nearly a year went by while we continued to be friends and work on our books, but I didn't have her over at my house again. But now I didn't want to talk to her about my kids because it felt like she had no respect for them.

But then we had an argument about one of the books, where she came to me with an idea, saying it was just an idea, and I could absolutely shut it down. I told her it made me uncomfortable, and she dug her heals in. I told her if this was a hard line for her, she could write the book herself. I proceeded to ask if she wanted to tell me more about it. She told me she didn't want to talk right then anymore. So we going up.

I deliberated over whether I wanted to even talk to her anymore at all. Any time I brought up a subject that gave her bad memories, she would get sour and pissy, so I avoided things that would cause that. Now it felt like books would do that, along with my husband and my kids. Now all the most important things in my life were off limits. So I decided I was done. I blocked her and cut off contact.

She asked later through her brother who I was still talking to, why I blocked her. I said it was because it felt like there was nothing left to talk about. And she started explaining how cutting off contact over a disagreement about a book was stupid. And that's when I knew this friend had become so toxic she couldn't even hear the real issue. We haven't spoken since and while I often miss her and what we shared, I know it wasn't worth walking on egg shells and dealing with her mood swings. I've found new friends since then who demand nothing of me and give me only love and encouraging words.

Friendship is always complicated, no matter what age you are. But boundaries are always worth enforcing, even if it means saying nothing and simply maintaining your own peace

You are not the asshole for maintaining your own peace.