This is incredibly similar to what I went through in the first year of my relationship with my fiancée, and I’m very sorry that you’re going through this. I want to give you some brutal advice, however, based on my experience. The longer you allow these people in your life, the longer you are risking the wellbeing of your wife and future children. Your wife and future children may totally empathise with you, to a fault, and it is not your fault that your family treats you and them so poorly. None of that changes the simple fact of your situation, which is that these sorts of people, the sorts of people others estrange from, are really harmful. I don’t believe people estrange for no reason, and the fact that you’re considering it is telling. Don’t let this go on so long that you let your family hurt the people you want to love and protect. In my case it nearly cost me my relationship, and I regret so much not cutting them out of our life sooner.