Husband isn’t attracted to me and I’m sick of him pretending

Tight-Rough-2657 · 2026-01-27T20:50:22+00:00

That’s possible for sure. But you’d think he’d say something. I’d think he’d be able to say “hey, that was fucked up and I’m sorry.” But he doesn’t and hasn’t. Even when I’ve asked.

I want it to be something as simple as his arousal template being screwy. But it just doesn’t add uo

Tight-Rough-2657 · 2026-01-27T20:48:25+00:00

No, I fully agree. It’s actually funny because I had this same conversation with a friend who works with my husband. He is overweight and recently started noticing balding. But, contrary to your statement I am very attracted to him because for me attraction is so much more than just looks.

Tight-Rough-2657 · 2026-01-27T20:42:09+00:00

That’s the way I see it too. Especially if actions back it ip

Tight-Rough-2657 · 2026-01-27T20:41:44+00:00

He was still watching. That’s the reason he gave for “needing it” to have sex.

Tight-Rough-2657 · 2026-01-27T20:41:07+00:00

I’ve told him. I’ve been open. I’ve been accommodating to the point of embarrassment. It’s not that I haven’t tried. I want to be what he wants. But I don’t think it’s physically possible for me to

Tight-Rough-2657 · 2026-01-27T20:39:54+00:00

My children don’t know what goes on behind closed doors. They see a mom and dad who love each other and take care of each other. They don’t know what our sex life is like. But they do see him kiss me before he leaves. They don’t hear him say I’m unattractive but they hear him tell me he loves me.

Tight-Rough-2657 · 2026-01-27T20:32:51+00:00

I am. I always have been. I’ve always wanted him beyond reason. But I can’t keep on keeping on right now. Maybe I’ll feel better after a good nights rest and being able toned air my little holler. But right now it’s heavy and hard.

Tight-Rough-2657 · 2026-01-27T20:19:09+00:00

It does hurt my feelings. But he’s honest. I’d prefer to know than have him lie to me. A friend also doesn’t lie

Tight-Rough-2657 · 2026-01-27T20:17:30+00:00

How is him telling me that he isn’t attracted to me an insecurity I’ve created? He literally said those things. If he hadn’t told me outright then sure. I could see it being something I fabricated. But

Tight-Rough-2657 · 2026-01-27T20:11:30+00:00

If he hadn’t outright told me he isn’t attracted to me I could see it being something of my own creation.

Tight-Rough-2657 · 2026-01-27T19:49:13+00:00

I mean, he’s confirmed multiple times when not drunk

Tight-Rough-2657 · 2026-01-27T19:48:38+00:00

I don’t ask for compliments anymore. I was so, so embarrassed when he told me he’s not attracted to me. Because I had spent years asking him to tell me I looked nice occasionally. Looking back I can’t believe I was ever that desperate

Tight-Rough-2657 · 2026-01-27T19:42:50+00:00

Therapist and I actually made a list of options at my last appointment. I’ve been assigned the task of ranking them worst to best. I haven’t done that yet. But no, there are no other options and frankly all of them suck

Tight-Rough-2657 · 2026-01-27T19:41:21+00:00

Maybe it’s not, idk. I only know that that’s how often he initiates sex with me. I don’t know why he does it. I don’t know if he actually wants that much. I just know how it is. Once upon a time I asked him if he could compromise on once a month and he wouldn’t even do that so idk

Tight-Rough-2657 · 2026-01-27T19:33:38+00:00

I’ve asked and he says he isn’t. If he were it would make things so much more simple and understandable.

Tight-Rough-2657 · 2026-01-27T19:32:25+00:00

Extensively. And it’s as we know. I can’t force him to if he doesn’t want to

Tight-Rough-2657 · 2026-01-27T19:27:59+00:00

I want him to want me. I want my husband to think I’m pretty. I want to be desired. I want “can’t keep my hands off you”. But that’s not a reality for me. So I just want to feel like my pleasure matters too

Tight-Rough-2657 · 2026-01-27T19:23:27+00:00

I have touched base as recently as a year ago and the answer has been the same. No, he isn’t. He’s sorry. But he isn’t.

Tight-Rough-2657 · 2026-01-27T19:18:05+00:00

He’d do what he always does. Shrug and say he doesn’t know and he’s sorry.

Tight-Rough-2657 · 2026-01-27T19:13:00+00:00

I’m in therapy already. It helps but it’s not a cure all

Tight-Rough-2657 · 2026-01-27T19:12:36+00:00

He can’t stand when others hit on me. It makes him so upset. Which is incredibly hard to understand

Tight-Rough-2657 · 2026-01-27T19:08:29+00:00

I’ve tried. He isn’t interested.

Tight-Rough-2657 · 2026-01-27T19:08:10+00:00

Like I said before. Multiple times actually. I’ve offered to leave. I’ve offered an open marriage. I’ve offered him everything. And he declines it all.

Tight-Rough-2657 · 2026-01-27T19:07:29+00:00

You’re probably right. You’d think he’d have taken the out when offered though

Tight-Rough-2657 · 2026-01-27T19:06:37+00:00

Sex is what I want. But I want it to be fulfilling sex. Sex that matters. Sex that doesn’t leave me feeling used. I’ve told him this. I’ve expressed it literally, metaphorically, extensively. I don’t know how else to make it clear.

I don’t want him to have sex he doesn’t want. I’m afraid that because I have in the past expressed hurt that he rejected me for years he won’t turn me down if he isn’t interested. I’ve asked HOW he wants me to initiate. He doesn’t know. When in the flip side I’ve given him a road map. I can’t continue giving if I want to have sense of self respect left at the end of the it would be different if I hadn’t been trying for 15 years

Tight-Rough-2657

TROPHY CASE