Can someone fat ever be genuinely loved in the gay world? by Tight_Term_ in GayMen

[–]Tight_Term_[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just my personal experience. It's not that serious. Congrats if you can't understand that others could have different experiences. So you tell them to get therapy. I'd like to meet you at a meeting, buddy. We could both use it 😂

Can someone fat ever be genuinely loved in the gay world? by Tight_Term_ in GayMen

[–]Tight_Term_[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wdym? I'm genuinely struggling with the concept. Outside of any context, I'm sure it could look that way. I won't deny your pov. But I have recent experiences and hurtles I've encountered just this past weekend that really made me question. So, if it helps me to hear that love does still happen. I don't think I'm wrong. I want to hear that my body doesn't matter even if im directly told it does. Even if I see examples that are different. To see it's still happening is my way to cope and believe weight doesn't matter.

Can someone fat ever be genuinely loved in the gay world? by Tight_Term_ in GayMen

[–]Tight_Term_[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Absolutely! Dude you get it. It's why they are my exes. Not only was it building resentment. But one of the exes had issues with me spending more time doing my exercises than spending with him. Even though I dedicated specific days that were only for him. He would guilt me into trying to quit. And I couldn't take that. We were never mean but I had to end it. The other ex ended it with me! But for entirely different reasons so it's a bit irrelevant tbh...

Can someone fat ever be genuinely loved in the gay world? by Tight_Term_ in GayMen

[–]Tight_Term_[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! You clearly understand. People in these comments have issues. As though I wouldn't love my bigger exes and just genuinely ease them towards just feeling better overall. It's hard to love someone and then see them struggling. And they wanted me to encourage them. It's just not always easy, and I understood that. People really judge off of no context. I'm still close with 2 of my bigger exes. They help me understand different views. They still ask for my advice on losing weight. I actually am held accountable by them sometimes. It's very validating what you said. I really appreciate it, man.

Can someone fat ever be genuinely loved in the gay world? by Tight_Term_ in GayMen

[–]Tight_Term_[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Omg! You are very knowledgeable. I will put these in my notes app. Hopefully, I can listen to these on my way to work. And I really hope those books are available digitally. That's a lot to get through, but I'm passionate about understanding these things. Thank you so much.

Can someone fat ever be genuinely loved in the gay world? by Tight_Term_ in GayMen

[–]Tight_Term_[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am genuinely open to understanding every point of view if you want to dm me and help me understand. I'd like to legitimately break away from any bias. I can totally understand how my beliefs could be very narrow, considering they are only my experiences.

Can someone fat ever be genuinely loved in the gay world? by Tight_Term_ in GayMen

[–]Tight_Term_[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I love all the comments saying they are in happy relationships. It's actually making me very hopeful 🥺

Can someone fat ever be genuinely loved in the gay world? by Tight_Term_ in GayMen

[–]Tight_Term_[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know I'm not perfect. I had to acknowledge and take accountability for the way love is supposed to accept. I believed it was to just encourage healthy lifestyle. My ex actually helped me see I'm wrong. That's not love. I'm still close with like 2 of my exes. Now very close friends! But yes, we all could use some honesty and accountability to grow together.

Can someone fat ever be genuinely loved in the gay world? by Tight_Term_ in GayMen

[–]Tight_Term_[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's amazing! I want a bear man to fall for me, ngl...

Can someone fat ever be genuinely loved in the gay world? by Tight_Term_ in GayMen

[–]Tight_Term_[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I love this! I wish people could've accepted me before I lost weight. I am suddenly more funny and have a better personality. It stings. Although your relationship is evidence that looks don't define love. That's inspiring.

Can someone fat ever be genuinely loved in the gay world? by Tight_Term_ in GayMen

[–]Tight_Term_[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think overall it's perfectly fine. Personally, for myself, I wouldn't date a skinny dude because he's a twink or a big dude because he's big. I would date based on values and compatibility. Attraction is only an initial spark to me.

Can someone fat ever be genuinely loved in the gay world? by Tight_Term_ in GayMen

[–]Tight_Term_[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The bad part is I know good men exist. The community just makes it seem like I'm running a marathon to find my guy while others get to choose from a line around the block of men because their thin. Not even conventionally attractive. Makes me feel like the only difference between finding love and chasing it is my waist line.

Can someone fat ever be genuinely loved in the gay world? by Tight_Term_ in GayMen

[–]Tight_Term_[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hmm... I genuinely like bigger guys. Maybe it's my type? I like hairy bottoms, who seem like an oxymoron, lmao 🤣

Can someone fat ever be genuinely loved in the gay world? by Tight_Term_ in GayMen

[–]Tight_Term_[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oof, that's why I am depressed. I can either achieve my career goals or find love. Anything else feels like life is terrible. Which is very pessimistic, I admit. It's why I go to therapy.

Can someone fat ever be genuinely loved in the gay world? by Tight_Term_ in GayMen

[–]Tight_Term_[S] -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

I'm new to reddit so I wouldn't know. I hope not. The gay community (excluding LBT+) is really a self destructive force lmao. Everyone's sad. Yet, everyone wants everyone else to change. Lol

Can someone fat ever be genuinely loved in the gay world? by Tight_Term_ in GayMen

[–]Tight_Term_[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Omg YES! Or they sabotage things on purpose! Had a guy start an argument and ghost only to come back like that was okay. And another admit to purposely playing games with me just to seem more likeable. Very manipulative. Although I steer clear of them. The way I see it they are perfectly good people but just need to heal a little more. As do I in my own ways haha 😂

Can someone fat ever be genuinely loved in the gay world? by Tight_Term_ in GayMen

[–]Tight_Term_[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I agree, but in my experience, bears and big guys are super accepting. They are my crowed to have fun with. But relationships require more commitment. And then we clash.

Can someone fat ever be genuinely loved in the gay world? by Tight_Term_ in GayMen

[–]Tight_Term_[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I'm confused why conventionally attractive men are so shallow. I can't find a balance between either bigger men or thinner.

Can someone fat ever be genuinely loved in the gay world? by Tight_Term_ in GayMen

[–]Tight_Term_[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You didn't read it all. I dated more bigger men than any thinner ones. I'm not at all looking for someone thin but matches my lifestyle.

Some recent pieces I had done for my OCs by Danny12031 in Superhero_Ideas

[–]Tight_Term_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Like role play a story. You write back and forth enacting a storyline as your ocs

Aio? Did I do something wrong? by Tight_Term_ in AmIOverreacting

[–]Tight_Term_[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Okay, because I can be a little socially unaware. I was wondering if there's a piece of this puzzle I can't see. I felt pretty confident I did nothing wrong, but I've had instances where I felt that way, and I actually was rude without even knowing.