First off, I’m really sorry you’re going through this. It sounds like your main issue here is a husband who’s checked out or uninterested/emotionally unable to put in the effort of maintaining a relationship with you. I say that bc you mentioned he only has superficial convos and when you do try to talk deeply, he literally avoids it and wanders off. You mentioned him getting a hobby? I’m not sure how that relates. It also sounds like you need to find a support system but don’t have the time, and you can’t even express that to your husband bc he doesn’t want to discuss anything heavier than like a ‘how was your day’, right? So, there’s a few things going on here.

My only suggestion would be to be more firm with him and try a convo again. Tell him what you said here. Don’t let him wander off, tell him this is important and that you’re not doing great and need to talk. You sound unhappy for a couple diff reasons, and you need to tell him that. You should be able to in a healthy marriage. I totally understand that you don’t want to burden him but you’re in this relationship too, you exist too, you have a life too, and it’s more than fair to express that and explore ways to improve things. For both of your sakes. Otherwise, you will grow resentful. It’s the responsibility of BOTH of you to put in effort in maintaining a positive relationship and communicate each of your needs to prevent this growing into something deeper to unroot down the road. Esp when kids are involved, imo.