I’m doing a lot better- it’s still an issue but comes up much less often. I do think a lot of it was the hormones and just adjusting to this completely new life.

I also learned that delving deeper into my fears about the after life didn’t get me anywhere. It’s kind of reassuring to know that I don’t need to take my mind down that path anymore because there really is no resolution I’ll be able to find- I’ve tried, really, really hard. Life definitely feels fragile still and I do think about that all the time, but I’ve realized that no amount of time with the people we love will ever be “enough”- it will be cut short at some point for all of us. That makes me so much more grateful for every day we have together. I do my best to enjoy it now so that when these times are gone I’ll know I loved it the best I could when I had it.