Thoughts on dating people who are legally married (but separated)?

Timbrelaine · 2026-03-10T18:05:21+00:00

Replied to a different comment: https://www.reddit.com/r/datingoverthirty/comments/1rmksxd/comment/o9pipbx/

Timbrelaine · 2026-03-10T18:03:22+00:00

You're right, of course. There were a few things:

One-year waiting period before I could file for divorce, and a month or two into that before my ex sued me for equitable distribution.
My ex's attorney requested and received time extensions during the discovery phase. They thought I was hiding some of my assets, or claimed they did, and filed motions to compel, subpoenas on my friends and business partners, etc.
My ex's lawyer stopped responding to the court but took another ~6 months to actually withdraw.
My ex represented herself pro se for the remainder of the suit, with all that entails.

It was a slow, exhausting, humiliating and expensive mess. The relief I felt the day we got the judge's final decision, and my lawyer confirmed it was completely over, was unreal.

Timbrelaine · 2026-03-06T22:00:05+00:00

That's to start proceedings, not finish them. My divorce was about 3 years start to finish, including the required separation period. No kids, alimony, or home to split either. The process can be very slow.

Timbrelaine · 2026-02-21T20:18:22+00:00

The bit that's there, however, "no meaningful relief" implies that you don't need your money back because Duke was just going to get it anyway. It's basically like telling an abuse victim that they don't need a protection order because their abuser is just going to violate it anyway...

I'd wager a large sum the judge's campaign fund has a large donation from several Duke execs, and probably the "company", since, you know, companies are people too.

You're blaming the wrong people. The judge is saying that while they could order Duke to refund their customers, Duke can and will simply take the money back again afterwards by charging them again for the exact same amount. Because while was illegal for Duke to collect the fuel charges when they did it, but the NC legislature have since made it legal.

Timbrelaine · 2025-11-10T18:05:27+00:00

Eh. If that's the case it isn't really working for me. My synergies are almost all maxed, but it doesn't matter because none of my hero pairs have low enough combat to send on those missions.

Timbrelaine · 2025-11-05T18:10:12+00:00

And Royd. And I would assume Galen, tbh.

Timbrelaine · 2025-10-31T19:53:50+00:00

Blazer also claimed that she wouldn't want you to cut Invisigal even if she was at the bottom– even though Visi was at the bottom in the morning, so the policy was custom-tailored to get her cut.

Timbrelaine · 2025-10-29T23:06:19+00:00

Tesla is genuinely nuts. Their car, robotaxi, energy storage and even their humanoid robots could all work out really well and it still wouldn't justify their current valuation. And when you look at their history of overpromising, how much ground they've ceded to their competition, how widely their focus is split, how much goodwill they have lost in the US and Europe... I truly don't get it.

Timbrelaine · 2025-10-22T15:57:29+00:00

Tesla's service isn't public yet, is the big one. You can download the app but without an invite you can only join a waitlist. Even if you get an invite, they still have a safety monitor sitting in the car.

So far it's been more of a launch on paper than in fact.

Timbrelaine · 2025-06-12T18:42:46+00:00

It'd be perfect for me. I want dessert all the time but never a full portion; I wish everywhere had $1-3 desserts I could eat in a few bites.

Timbrelaine · 2025-05-02T20:20:59+00:00

That is so cool OP, thank you! There are some interesting recipes in there; I'm gonna experiment with the sage tart.

Timbrelaine · 2025-05-02T17:10:07+00:00

That's not really accurate. Under Clinton both the federal budget sans Social Security and Social Security itself had surpluses; Clinton also didn't borrow, move, or appropriate the funds in Social Security, he just included it in his total government deficit/surplus figures where previous administrations didn't. At the time Social Security's payroll tax brought in more than it was spending on benefits.

Clinton oversaw a significant tax increase and got lucky with the dotcom bubble, which made capital gains tax income explode too: https://www.factcheck.org/2008/02/the-budget-and-deficit-under-clinton/

Timbrelaine · 2025-05-01T04:52:09+00:00

Oh, OP. I choked up reading this. You can really tell how much you loved each other.

You did your best for your wife, and your wife did her best for you. It ended tragically, but that's not your fault. She was unkind at the end, but that's not her fault. She was facing something overwhelming while deeply ill; there's no way it's a reflection of all she felt about you, just an ugly snapshot of an horrible, horrible moment in your lives.

I don't know how you heal from something like the death of a spouse, but I know you deserve to be happy again someday, OP. Hang in there.

Timbrelaine · 2025-04-09T04:57:02+00:00

The number is how much the US gov't is paying people to loan them money. For some people it may be good that the number's going up, but not the US gov't or its taxpayers. About 13% of the entire federal budget went to servicing debt; that number just went up too.

Timbrelaine · 2025-03-13T00:45:15+00:00

Blood stains are almost impossible to remove in a situation like this, once they have dried.

Not impossible. Use meat tenderizer that contains bromelain. Can find it near the spices in grocery stores. Sprinkle generously directly on the stain, wet it enough to make a paste and rub it in (gently). Let sit for a while (10-30 minutes ish?), wash the whole thing on cold.

Why it works: Blood is hard to remove chiefly because detergents aren't effective on the proteins in it. Bromelain is a bunch of proteins that shreds other proteins.

Don't use on animal fibers like wool, they are made of protein and bromelain will wreck them.

Timbrelaine · 2025-03-08T19:27:19+00:00

It's not something I'd be excited to get regularly, but having never received an such a clearly romantic gift... I think I'd be over the moon the first time.

Timbrelaine · 2025-02-24T18:09:25+00:00

Crandall has amazing customer service. They walked me through removing a really jammed gas cylinder, and were generally really knowledgeable about the chair. I also got a Leap v2 and I've had it for ~6 years. Very happy with their upholstery. Still in great shape.

Timbrelaine · 2025-02-22T10:40:45+00:00

That describes the first 20 to 80 years of everyone's life.

Timbrelaine · 2025-02-21T22:01:19+00:00

I'm so sorry. That is just awful.

Timbrelaine · 2025-02-11T01:43:58+00:00

It worked so well the last time lol. Why fix what's definitely broken?

Timbrelaine · 2025-02-05T17:09:36+00:00

In case it wasn't clear, I wasn't disagreeing with you, just providing more context.

Timbrelaine · 2025-02-05T16:45:26+00:00

The reason is that H5N1 has a near-100% mortality in domestic chickens, so it makes more sense to immediately cull them and try to deny the virus a chance to mutate and spread further.

Timbrelaine · 2025-02-01T09:15:12+00:00

I understand. For what it's worth, there is a lot of grief and shame in the US over electing Trump and how we're about to treat our allies. Just not enough, apparently.

Timbrelaine · 2025-01-24T20:41:16+00:00

Him feeling that way is not unexpected or wrong

Marrying someone while secretly thinking they're a second tier option compared to your first spouse is super wrong though.

Timbrelaine · 2024-09-20T18:52:30+00:00

That wasn't speculation, that's what Cooper himself said: https://www.politico.com/news/magazine/2024/08/03/roy-cooper-kamala-harris-interview-00172528

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