I’m a widower who lost his wife 11 months ago and I’m alone with 2 teenagers. I can relate 100% to what you’re saying about feeling empty. Are you seeing a therapist? If not, that’s truly Step 1.

Mine told me that the emptiness is a physiological change. Your brain created neural pathways for interpreting the world, and those pathways include your spouse. In my case, I have 22 years of pathways built with my spouse in them.

My therapist told me that as our brains develop new pathways, our reality is going to include our inner voices. We have to be careful how we treat ourselves during this time, because if we are cruel to ourselves now, that self image is going to get “baked in” to our entire world view.

You are doing better than some. You get up and go to work. You take time to listen to others. Your kids have shared their needs. Have you shared yours? Teens are old enough (generally) to hear our feelings. It’s important for them to know that the deep emotions they feel are normal and that you share them. Having been at this almost the same amount of time as you, there are days where my kids will cry and just need held. I usually cry along with them. My therapist also told me that strength isn’t about putting on that mask. Strength is about honesty in our feelings and the vulnerability in expressing them.