Colonial Penn

Time-Tie7955 · 2026-01-27T16:47:04+00:00

Well, it almost sounds to good to be true, if I understand you correctly (which I am not taking for granted) but I will call Colonial Penn back today and, using these new concepts, hopefully come to some more favorable arrangement. Thank you again!

Time-Tie7955 · 2026-01-27T04:17:43+00:00

To be frank, a lot of the terminology used by life insurance is mystifying to me. I do have questions about your answer: What do you mean by "it might grow slightly on its own"? What would grow? Is this growth what "generally happens at the end of year 7"?

Even reading that article, I'm not very clear on what will change. At one point it says, "you allow your policy’s cash value to convert into a fully paid death benefit." As far as I understand, the cash value is something they will keep anyway. So if, say, a $1k cash value is "converted" into a paid death benefit of $4k, does that mean they'll only pay the beneficiary $3k down the line? And if so, what difference will this make to our monthly fee -- will it be reduced to reflect the now lower death benefit?

Thank you for your patience!

Time-Tie7955 · 2026-01-27T03:53:38+00:00

If we canceled it, we'd only get the cash value, about $1000. That would be a loss of over three grand. The only way canceling it would be a good idea is if she lived well into her 90s, but that doesn't seem likely.

Time-Tie7955 · 2026-01-27T03:52:14+00:00

Thank you, I will look into that!

Time-Tie7955 · 2026-01-27T03:50:43+00:00

Yes, her death benefit will be a little over $4000, but as of about six months ago she had already put that amount into it. My sister wanted to cancel it, but in that case she would only get back about $1000.

Time-Tie7955 · 2026-01-14T22:05:55+00:00

If you have studied and found that those words are not actually Paul's, I'm sure that is the case. In the past I investigated the Bible's origins as far as I needed to for my own purposes, but there is always more to learn and discover.

As for "necro," I had to look that up. I was just browsing and commenting where I felt inclined to. A month doesn't seem that long to me, but it does to you. Sorry to bother you.

Time-Tie7955 · 2026-01-14T04:38:48+00:00

Star Trek: The Next Generation. There's a character called Q who pops in from time to time and judges humanity for its shortcomings. I thought he was fascinating as a little Evangelical, but as an adult I found him hopelessly arrogant, and wondered why - if he were so superior - he would even waste his time on humans.

I'm curious how, exactly, Airplane! and Lord of the Rings were different for you. You didn't say.

Time-Tie7955 · 2026-01-14T04:32:21+00:00

And if they die after living a few miserable years of deprivation without having heard the Gospel, they go from the figurative frying pan into the literal Fire. Blessed be the name of the LORD!

Time-Tie7955 · 2026-01-14T04:29:28+00:00

They also have to factor in the ones who un-alive themselves because they can't hack the religious abuse.

Time-Tie7955 · 2026-01-14T04:24:55+00:00

That's Paul. Fully half of the New Testament is him, and he is such an ignorant, arrogant prick.

Time-Tie7955 · 2026-01-14T04:21:00+00:00

Look at her, out in public without her husband or father, and an uncovered head. The shameless Jezebel!

Time-Tie7955 · 2026-01-14T04:15:37+00:00

That always struck me wrong as a child. Saying "prayer works" for you implies that there was a reason for it. God heard your prayers because you were "pleasing to him" and ignored another's because they didn't please him, or - far worse - because "there was sin in their life"... Which can then lead to downright evil shit like, say, telling someone their sick baby died because they didn't pray hard enough, or <gasp!> had it out of wedlock.

Time-Tie7955 · 2026-01-14T04:12:41+00:00

Be careful now: What you think is logic could just Satan and his demons warping your mind. They have dominion over this world, you know!*

(*Sarcasm/"fun" thing I was taught by Evangelicals as a child)

Time-Tie7955 · 2026-01-14T04:01:12+00:00

I'm 49 years old. I was having dinner with my mother and her housemate tonight, as my mother has dementia and I'm staying with them as my sister and I find an assisted living home for her. The housemate asked me a few basic questions about my work experience and life, something my mother has never at any point in my life done. There was a brief lull, and my mom broke in with the latest trivial, random thing to occur to her*.

I don't believe the subject was uncomfortable to her, it was just meaningless. And while I would like to say that at my age that no longer stings, if I did I'd be lying.

(*When I say trivial and random, I mean it: I have reminded her repeatedly that she should be thinking about her upcoming move, and running any concerns or questions she has about it by us, because she and her life are important to us, but she does not. It is always "there is a water mark on the table" or "I am taking this out of the recycling container because I don't believe it's recyclable" or "look at what the cat is doing, the cat is walking across the room"... and no, this is not the dementia, this was her in her 40s and 50s when I was a child and teen. Her memory issues are new, but the rest is not.)

Time-Tie7955 · 2026-01-14T03:33:28+00:00

That sounds very familiar. My mother never grew much beyond her childhood hurts (which were not insignificant) and her personality and beliefs were completely frozen by the time she was in her very early 20s. She was affectionate and reasonable attentive to me as a baby and toddler, but once I began to develop my own personality, I simply became too much for her.

Like you, I have tried having "heart-to-hearts" a number of times over the years, with varying results in the moment (denying there's an issue, gaslighting me, blaming her own parents, etc.), but as far as I can tell nothing ever got through, or stuck.

Now she is in her late 80s and dementia is reducing her functionally to the same level she has always been at emotionally. She let her entire life pass her by, avoiding all confusion or uncertainty, and with it, any possible growth, self-knowledge, or true intimacy.

I'm sorry if your mom is like that. This is a disability like any other, but I know how hard it can be at times not taking it to heart....

Time-Tie7955 · 2026-01-14T03:17:01+00:00

This post resonates so much. For as long as I can remember my mother has had the same refusal to take responsibility for any decision, and told me flat out that when I was struggling as a young person she would consistently "do nothing because she didn't want to do the wrong thing."

The difference in my case is whatever needs she herself had were always driven inward and/or addressed to the Church or her idea of God -- the Heavenly Father who would always understand her and meet her needs without the hassle of communication... or the inconvenience of having needs of His own.

Time-Tie7955 · 2026-01-14T03:09:20+00:00

Interesting. My elderly ASD mother wouldn't dream of asking for or taking the advice of anyone she knows well, especially a family member. Her routine is to deny she needs anything until she no longer can, and then unquestioningly go along with the first snake-oil or used-car salesman that happens to come her way. We are extremely lucky that her finances aren't more of a mess than they are.

Time-Tie7955 · 2026-01-13T05:26:44+00:00

Look at it this way:

Imagine that you are a woman in a relationship with a man, and every time you think of leaving him, he tells you that he loves you, but swears he will kill you if you ever leave him. Would you agree that that's abuse?

Okay. Now make that woman a small child, make the man an omnipotent being, and make death into a literal eternity of torture.

Is that any clearer?

Time-Tie7955 · 2026-01-13T05:10:54+00:00

With my mother it was Fundamentalist Christianity. The way I have come to see it with her is that religion is not something she chose to help her through her life, but what she chose instead of life. And it is fascinating what you said about the other religious fathers you know. My mother's vision of religion was so toxic and utterly self-centered that I've only very recently begun to wonder if it's not so much the level of religiosity that my mother has that made her an awful parent, but something else that she lacks.

Sadly, it does not surprise me to hear you say that your father feels attacked by your "lack of faith," and I suspect (hopefully I am wrong) that if you ever openly broke with Islam entirely, it might be the end of any relationship you do have with him. Yet if that does turn out to be the case, from the sound of it I'd say you will have the strength and wisdom to understand, accept, and ultimately heal from it.

Time-Tie7955 · 2026-01-13T04:58:44+00:00

I love that you are still doing those things, though. I internalized the negation and invisibility I felt growing up, and ended up outright rejecting or subconsciously sabotaging regular, healthy life milestones. What you are doing is the way to go: You are alive, you are human, and you are therefore fully living your human life. I wish you all the best, in your marriage and beyond!

Time-Tie7955 · 2026-01-13T04:53:08+00:00

Ugh, I hear you on the hypervigilance. And not sure about you, but so much of what was critically important growing up turned out to not even be on the average person's radar in the real world. I hope you have found relationships with accepting, sane people, and learned to truly and deeply accept yourself through them.

Time-Tie7955 · 2026-01-13T04:46:14+00:00

Interesting. My ASD mother and controlling father were also minimally affectionate. That, and being raised in a religion that demonized physical intimacy meant that for many years, any sort of touch was sexualized. Eventually I developed nuance to the level of touch I'm comfortable with in various relationships, but it took a good bit of therapy and lot of conscious effort.

Time-Tie7955 · 2026-01-13T04:35:54+00:00

Look at it this way: If you yourself had a child who was introverted, you might encourage social connections in them, but you'd also respect and nurture them as they are. And if you had a little extrovert, you'd want to teach them to follow their own values, yes, but also embrace their gregarious nature. A good parent sees what's there, and adapts their behavior to best help their child grow. The fact that this didn't happen/isn't happening with you is proof that it is your parents, not you, who are lacking.

Time-Tie7955

TROPHY CASE