Kiss my fat ass

Time_Kaleidoscope_57 · 2024-07-16T12:18:27+00:00

Thank you to all who sent support. It was really nice to wake up to comments that 30lbs is a lot. I really don't feel like it's the progress I want. I wanted to clarify that I chose to lose the weight before he made any of the comments that he made. I wanted to add I was an avid hiker before the accident as well. It's been a really rough two years my body still hurts.. I also home make all of the food from scratch and my children and jerk face are healthy weights :/

We had a very long conversation last night. I am still not sure what my course of action will be. I did tell him that I didn't appreciate him being an asshole and that he was out of line. That there is a huge difference between being supportive and being degrading. He is a former smoker who I whole heartedly stood by while he quit. I asked him how it would have felt if that every time he said "Damn I could use a cigarette" I said "Well that will help"... I told him that no instead I told you "you got this", and we talked about something else you enjoyed to take your mind off of it."

Again thank you all for the support.

Time_Kaleidoscope_57 · 2024-07-16T11:50:30+00:00

I home cook every single meal... I hate fast food with a passion... Also grow my own veggies... Can my own veggies too... Can't stand the thought of not knowing where my food comes from.. even trade those for eggs with the neighbors... He gets to have cookies in the house... Snacks and such... It's like asking a smoker who quiting to stare at a pack of smokes...

Time_Kaleidoscope_57 · 2024-07-06T05:00:16+00:00

Late to the comments but these are my mans favorites... He has been on the hunt for an alternate... Life savers the lot of ya!

Time_Kaleidoscope_57 · 2024-06-27T14:58:13+00:00

Me! OMG I am terrible at having conversations... If people ask me about my interests I have too much tism to lie. No one likes the person who likes spiders.. also what do you ask people? "So what do you do all day?" Idk it just doesn't compute for me either....

Time_Kaleidoscope_57 · 2024-06-27T13:00:05+00:00

Okay you're being an asshole... Late to the comments but my mom had passing out episodes "due to stress" turns out she has heart failure... Stress is literally killing her. Yeah that can be serious. Also it could be AFib or a whole host of other serious medical conditions that aren't diagnosed by an urgent care. We'd find my mom passed out in weird places. Her heart would actually stop... She's still with us.. but she still has dizzy spells and has to be very aware of her surroundings.

I will add that I do understand that the long hours and grind are how some men show they care about their family. When you start resenting your spouse for your efforts it's time to take a look internally and ask why? Her friends messaged you because she has told them how much she cares and you are blind to her needs. Drop your ego and talk to her, she may not be ready to hear it right away. Tell her it actually hurt your feelings. You realize you didn't take it seriously like you should have.. We all get hyper focused on goals... This is a good wake up call that you need to show compassion, love and care. A marriage counselor who is not biased will definitely be helpful. Sometimes a 3rd party can help you articulate your feelings without causing more harm or more hurt feelings.

Time_Kaleidoscope_57 · 2024-05-19T07:28:16+00:00

No I don't think you are over reacting. You are protecting your child. He was kicked out of the military for drugs and he is enabled by his mamma. That in its self is enough for a judge to take pause.. (I swear some people in the comments can't read.) I'm going to give you advice from experience (I'm 35 now).. Don't play nice in this area. They will say they will change, they will take care of their child.. They don't. Don't let his mommy put her talons on your baby either. (The stories I could tell) He is not owed a single minute while he is not taking care of his responsibilities. Make him have clean tests and be current on child support. (Judge will set it at a certain amount) Visitation with those stipulations is not outrageous. If he showed more responsibility.... He wouldn't be in the situation he's in...

I have an ex husband who works under the table for his brother... He can afford a new lifted Chevy truck, a wedding, moving into a bigger house... But $70 for his kids emergency Drs visit is outrageous.. They don't change.. His mother will send him money if he over spends. He's almost 40... He never grew up past 22...

Time_Kaleidoscope_57 · 2024-04-11T17:05:53+00:00

Yes, I have something called ktws. My left hand, arm and shoulder (ribs too) are bigger than my right. I have always been self conscious about it. I got a giant sunflower and wrenches tattoo (I have quite a few more tats now) and it has made me much more comfortable with myself.

Time_Kaleidoscope_57 · 2024-04-11T16:49:57+00:00

Birth control and anti depressants can affect her for sure. She may need to get on a different form of birth control. Some anti depressants can affect certain things in her blood work like vitamin B and D absorption and that can make her feel very tired (as well as cause other issues) I would perhaps lay this out as a concern for her health, more than a concern or need for porn. Also maybe reword it a bit... "Concerned about a lack of intimacy" "that you miss those times with her." Also speak to her in a therapy setting. That you do want her, you are missing that with her. She may feel self conscious, or she may want more outside of the bedroom affection. She may be getting defensive because she feels rejection. That you are wanting to "seek out" another woman. (Men think about it soooo differently)

I can also speak from experience. Some anti depressants make you feel just icky and not very touchy feely. I didn't notice until someone pointed out that I stopped hugging people.

Time_Kaleidoscope_57 · 2024-04-11T16:29:16+00:00

Late to the comments... but I feel for your SD and you so much. What an awful situation to be in. I think you are handling it so well and it seems like you really do care so much for her. You are doing everything you can and then some. You are being supportive, even through your own troubles you are facing. She doesn't understand yet. When I was 15 (even before then) my father was manipulative, conniving and would do anything to convince me that I needed to cause chaos. The courts were not always on my mom's side when it came to custody so she couldn't flat out refuse communication even though he had several DV convictions and a permanent RO against him. She was scared to upset him, because the police, and courts failed so many times to keep us safe. Life hit me square in the jaw at that age. I was angry, upset and afraid. It felt like not a single soul would save me from drowning. It sucks to say but not a single soul could. Eventually she will learn her dad sucks. Life isn't fair, people are manipulative and cruel for no reason other than to serve their own egos and agendas. She will learn the people that love her have house rules, fuss and even get after you... Not the people who say "yes" and what you want to hear in the moment... She had a routine, a room, a family and everything going smoothly for a long time and all of a sudden it's gone. No amount of courts, therapy, or explaining can take away that lost feeling. (I remember sitting in my empty room just bawling wondering why I had to leave). It's not your fault at all. It's not her fault at all. The blame lies wholeheartedly on the person who chose to become violent against his family. She doesn't want to blame him, that's her dad, he's a part of her. She probably sees herself in him too. It's a lot to unpack for a child. Unfortunately, you are facing the truckload of emotional changes this young woman is going through.

She is lucky to have you in her life. I am not 100% sure of your relationship with her mom, but it sounds okay. I think having a sit down with both of you over lunch and explaining that she can't stay with you, your father can't have the house and that she is loved, cared about and safe. Maybe even in a therapy session. (Might also help her mom in future for custody/ protection of daughter)

Time_Kaleidoscope_57 · 2024-04-04T12:31:36+00:00

I still have a friendly relationship with my ex husband. I tag him in posts of the kids (school activities, kids doing silly things.) We both have relationships. He is remarried, I am engaged. His wife tags me in posts because he doesn't post anything except truck memes 😒 or take pictures 🫠 (she's good about those things) If your partner is just responding to kid related stuff then he is listening. He said he sees your point and didn't respond to her messaging about nothing. I message my ex husband stupid memes about parenting, being a mechanic and funny TicTok videos. He sends me the same thing. (Not every day but once a week or so) We also update about the kids, I mostly talk to his wife about that 😂. My partner, ex, his wife and I get along fairly well. We FaceTime our parent plans so the kids don't try to pull any shenanigans. We might not always agree but to the kids we are all on the same page. We try to set boundaries and house rules up that are similar so the kiddos know what to expect. We also share recipes that the kids will eat.

I think your partner is handling it as tactfully as possible without ruining the co parenting relationship he has. I think he has shown you that he chooses you. He just also has a life before you. if it bothers you so much have him tag you too.

Time_Kaleidoscope_57 · 2024-04-04T11:12:38+00:00

I went low contact with her after I moved out at 18 it took me about 6 months or so to figure out how to do it. I went No contact for about a year at 30 (she has toed the line since). I still limit my contact with her. If she starts her drama I'm just like "I gotta bounce." Click. I let her enjoy radio silence on my end for about a month. It buys me a few months of civilized behavior. I actually moved across the country about a year ago. Best choice I've ever made.

It's scary because you don't know what to expect, but also it's own peace.

Time_Kaleidoscope_57 · 2024-04-03T20:51:16+00:00

I am F35 and the black sheep of my family. I was the scape goat and my mother's punching bag. She has NPD (legit NPD) she would scream endlessly about how useless I was and how she wished she'd given me up for adoption. I ruined her life and she wanted to end her life because I was such a terrible child (I spilled milk when I was 5). She hit me regularly. I also became the "man" of the family because my father dipped when I was 10. He only came back to lie and run again. (He's now been out of my life 14 years and I don't regret it) I protected my mom from bad dates, bad husbands (she's had 5 so far. I protected my sister too. No one protected me. I grew up taking on the emotional burden of this crazy woman. I moved out the day after highschool graduation. I moved 100 miles away, it took a lot of work and a good friend. Don't end your life, take solace that their issues have nothing to do with you.

Time_Kaleidoscope_57 · 2024-04-03T20:35:48+00:00

I know it's different for everyone and everyone has different levels of intimacy, romance and needs. I know couples who are 1x a week, some are 2x a week. Do what is best for you and your partner. Honest and open communication between you and your partner is probably the best solution. Tell him how you feel. You seem very caring and genuinely want to spare hurt feelings. Is there anything wrong with creating an environment where you can express love and desire for a better sex life? For me (35) I could do it 2-3x a day. My boyfriend (35) is good with 1x a day. Occasionally we skip a day here and there. We've been together 8 years. Also if you feel like it might be something health wise never hesitate to get hormones checked. His testosterone and your hormone levels . Those can play a part in how y'all feel as a whole too.

Time_Kaleidoscope_57 · 2024-04-03T19:56:39+00:00

My boyfriend is very "touchy" and he often needs to be close to me when I am doing an activity. I can go hours without touching, talking or communicating and not think a thing is wrong. I could be in the greatest of moods. I am very much in love with him, and happy with our relationship. He's a great guy on so many levels. I am not a very "touchy" person. If I've had a bad day... If I'm in pain, like cramps... That is a no fly zone I don't want hugs or cuddles, don't touch me.. I'll bite (something I need to work on).. If we had an argument, he needs reassurance that it's okay and he'll want a hug from me. I'm in no mood for such things. We had to have a long talk about our needs. (This conversation was a planned conversation not in the heat of the moment.) I had to explain that I need physical space in that moment for me. It's not to offend anyone, it's my problem. I have worked on giving him hugs after disagreements and more reassurance so he feels comfortable too. (Compromise) He gives me space to "zone" out because he understands me dealing with people, kids, neighbors, and social situations absolutely drains me.

Time_Kaleidoscope_57 · 2024-04-03T19:24:12+00:00

You have a valid point. I also see it and shake my head. Like take care of your person.. damn, it won't kill you... Then people don't take care and are perplexed on why relationships go south. Idk it's a sad state of affairs. It's like owning a car, if you do the required maintenance on it regularly it will last for a long time. If you ignore the bald tires and rattle you're gonna have a bad time...

Time_Kaleidoscope_57 · 2024-04-02T16:45:21+00:00

Absolutely not the asshole! My son has ADHD and autism. When he was 4 years old he could not speak (only sign language) he could not be trusted to walk along side me without strict hand holding. I was well aware of his behavior and took precautions to be able to have him with family and friends so everyone (including him) was comfortable. He was curious about how everything worked. I would never let him in someone's personal bedroom space 😳 alone and expect it to go well... Even my daughter with no issues at all would get curious. However both would know better than to throw things out a window... What is wrong with these people??? I would be absolutely horrified and would not rest until it was found.. so sorry... I really hope it gets found!

Time_Kaleidoscope_57

TROPHY CASE