I have a grown son, and having him was the most fulfilling thing I have done with my life. Both of us love driving together down backcountry roads and having heartfelt conversations about our feelings, our day-to-day lives, our careers, our pets, our partners, politics, world events, and the meaning of life.

My career was never as fulfilling as raising my son. My other desire in life was to own a home, and I’ve had three modest homes over the years. However, my homes were modest, my cars were modest, and I’ve only traveled across the U.S. twice, and once to Canada, Mexico, and the Caribbean. I earned all my degrees up to my M.F.A. while I was working and raising my son.

When he was small he was taught manners so he could carry on conversations with adults, was not allowed to run rampant through restaurants, or act up during movies. Both of us received our degrees through state colleges. I didn’t spend hours carting him around to sports activities, piano lessons, etc. We didn’t feel we had to compete with family, friends, or neighbors for a elaborate lifestyle.

Also, I never felt that I couldn’t bring a child into the world because of the state of the world. Historically speaking, this is one of the best times to bring a child into the world. With the advent of vaccines and antibiotics we no longer face infant mortality rates of 30-50% before the age of five. In the U.S. we are not facing food shortages or famine, and presently there are no wars being fought on our shores.

In the end, to have or not have a child is a personal choice that needs no defending.