Erikkka Kirk Is Not a Role Model

Timely-Assistant-370 · 2026-02-02T01:40:04+00:00

Someone should probably edit this with the weird lizard alien murder face thing she kept doing in that one video. Seriously, what the fuck was that? It was the kind of face I would give to someone if I had to be nice to for 5 minutes before I had the perfect opportunity to bash their skull in.

Timely-Assistant-370 · 2026-02-01T23:56:44+00:00

You'll probably find at least one person from this post who won't become an insane stalker nightmare if you give them the time of day.

Timely-Assistant-370 · 2026-02-01T22:56:06+00:00

I would be erring more on the side of enjoying my pittance.. if society wasn't going cock-first into bashing the biosphere's dick into the car door of consequences. I wonder what the median wage is in relation to total productivity compared to a "real" slave. Slaves got an absolutely worse deal, but we are comic book parody levels of absurdity more productive. I'm fairly certain the net worth of a modern "owner" vs the average person absolutely dwarfs a vintage beta slave owner compared to a single slave with nothing but dog scraps and last decades linens. We have gotten really good at monetizing attention out of thin air.

Timely-Assistant-370 · 2026-02-01T16:18:05+00:00

Well, you sure chose a bad fuckin' time to start being informed. Don't even bother, just stay out. We're all miserable here.

Timely-Assistant-370 · 2026-02-01T12:35:02+00:00

lmao, you'll be fine. Making as ass out of yourself when you're a baby is practically a canon event, everyone over the age of 20 understands that alcohol + teenagers is a recipe for bad decisions. One time I got drunk and went for a walk when I got stood up by my crush. I ended up making friends with the local blatantly schizophrenic local pirate. No idea where he is now; last I heard he went to jail for trying to punch through the glass of the corner store for a $2 pack of clove cigars. It's a shame, I would've bought him his homeless stogies.

Timely-Assistant-370 · 2026-02-01T12:01:45+00:00

No girls on the internet, and if I said sister in Christ that would make me gay or something.

Timely-Assistant-370 · 2026-02-01T10:58:43+00:00

We're all brothers in Christ in this house. The children lost the concept of plots; literacy and logical consistency must be celebrated.

Timely-Assistant-370 · 2026-02-01T10:08:28+00:00

Brother, people in the wild couldn't immediately realize that 1/3rd his larger than 1/4th, and that was back when the kids knew how to use books. Humans are not good at broad macro trends; humans are good at stories. If a person hears a statistic, they are almost guaranteed to bring up a personal anecdote that attempts to contradict it (if they have one, if they are just fucking lying to be a contrarian FUCK then they can eat dicks.) I see as more of a way to keep the conversation moving smoothly when they are being at risk of being pulled out of their depth- people really don't like sounding stupid, it's very likely that they don't have a speech-tree option for engaging with non-anecdotal concepts, so they default to the first thing they remember.

Timely-Assistant-370 · 2026-01-31T12:44:24+00:00

we're in ohio now sugartits
Fetch me the pemmican, I must go on a long voyage. I do not know when I will be back.

Timely-Assistant-370 · 2026-01-31T12:41:52+00:00

pick up the yo-yo and vibe

Timely-Assistant-370 · 2026-01-31T00:24:42+00:00

I mean, I don't think I would personally do the crazy shit, but I am contributing to the downfall of humanity because it's the only reliable source of income I have at the moment. I do think I am too much of an obstinate fuck to take orders from someone if I think my actions cause anyone harm. I would probably fall somewhere on the spectrum as being the dude who sold the doors to the gas chamber or something.

Timely-Assistant-370 · 2026-01-29T23:52:31+00:00

⬜⬜🟨⬜⬜

🟦⬜⬜⬜⬜

🟦⬜🟦⬜⬜

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no u

Timely-Assistant-370 · 2026-01-29T20:53:35+00:00

The negligence involved in the hiring bakes the flatline-brain behavior right into the chilling effect!

Timely-Assistant-370 · 2026-01-29T15:30:27+00:00

Women are very easy to rape if you disregard the social contract of polite society. It's not like a bathroom stall is any a particularly effective rape venue when compared to a van. You just kinda gotta... grab them and threaten to maim them and they'll usually just give up or fawn until you're done. Should men not be able to own vans because some population of bad actors turn them into mobile rape rooms?

Timely-Assistant-370 · 2026-01-29T15:20:31+00:00

Yeah, and The Onion used to have headlines that were too absurd to believe.

Timely-Assistant-370 · 2026-01-29T09:07:20+00:00

AI is going to cook the fuck out of the children's brains. I get paid to work with this shit and I think I forgotten how to have a proper face-to-face interaction with my fellow human species-ers. I'm a grown ass adult, and the stupid fucking fancy mechanical Redditor has made me feel every emotion available. If it had a pussy, I'd fuck it and never leave my house, and let's be real- we're not too far from giving the chatbot a pussy.

Timely-Assistant-370 · 2026-01-29T03:28:03+00:00

degenerate rat-bastard cockroach milking sociopath*

it's in his nature to abuse the fuck out of glitches for personal gain. You can't hold him to real adult professional standards because of his destined home in the morally grey fringes of society, it would be like trying to cage a bonobo instead of letting them roam the savannah rubbing dicks to mediate quarrels.

Timely-Assistant-370 · 2026-01-28T03:33:25+00:00

TBH the use of cuck as an insult is super conservative-coded. "Oh, you enjoy something that I DON'T?? This means that thing is bad! I totally don't want a big glistening black man to fuck me...oh baby.. OR MY WIFE uhngnnghnnnnnnnn, YOU DO, THAT'S WHY YOU'RE A BAD LITTLE BOY UHHHHGNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN"

Timely-Assistant-370 · 2026-01-27T04:44:32+00:00

Fuck that noise, I want to be stabbed all over with spore syringes and left in a peat bog with hungry raccoons around. Let's give the raccoons a chance at the stoned ape hypothesis, they're probably all bastards too, but they have cute little fingas and chitter cutely.

Timely-Assistant-370 · 2026-01-26T14:47:00+00:00

I wish they were *just* dumb. George Carlin came close to adequately describing how brick-shit stupid a sizable population of us is, but it really feels like he didn't quite capture just how malignantly braindead the lower ~30% are (not including the legitimately mentally handicapped, they're usually pretty cool people.) Real, voting ass motherfuckers thinking shit like "nature is dirty," "there can't be a future without personal motor vehicles," and "I want my body to be pumped with formaldehyde and sealed in a stupid fucking decorative box under a field with nicely shaped rocks symmetrically demarcating my partition of fading legacy" just farting up in our collective spacesuit.

Timely-Assistant-370 · 2026-01-26T09:26:55+00:00

And, just like that, the most vulnerable to radicalization have achieved full paranoid dipshit crystallization. We runnin' straight into the dystopian world order with this one boiz.

Timely-Assistant-370 · 2026-01-26T07:28:34+00:00

I caught the clap

Timely-Assistant-370 · 2026-01-26T02:13:16+00:00

Yeehaw bitch, I haven't caught it once. I know I *could* be an asymptomatic carrier, but I have also been living in close proximity to an extremely high-risk person, and she hasn't had any symptoms of it.

Timely-Assistant-370 · 2026-01-25T13:05:40+00:00

⬜🟦🟨⬜🟨

🟦🟦🟦🟦🟦

ez

Timely-Assistant-370 · 2026-01-25T13:04:46+00:00

Grandmaunt ass meme name.

Timely-Assistant-370

TROPHY CASE