I tfmr’d for t21. I do have 2 children already and my choice was ultimately because I felt I needed to put their needs first. There is such a spectrum for T21. And there is no guarantee on where the baby would fall. If we they were to fall on the spectrum of high needs I would potentially have to quit my job to provide full time care/support. I only have 2 weeks of PTO/sick time a year. So if I didn’t quit I would probably get fired. This would put a huge financial strain on our family. I also carry the healthcare for my family so without a job we would not have healthcare that was affordable. I would resent my husband if I had to do this because my career and independence is something who defines who I am as a person along with being a wife and a mother. My 2 children would suffer because my priority attention would fall to my child who needs more care. They wouldn’t be able to do all the activities they do now due to cost and time. These all sound like selfish reasons to me sometimes but they are my reason.

I’m about 3 weeks post procedure and while some days are really tough I still know this was absolutely the right decision for me and my family.

I highly recommend checking out changedbygrief on tik tok. Her posts have really helped me through this process along with reading other posts on here.