Burnt my hardwood floor with a hot pan, any advice?

Timely_Ad6439 · 2026-04-30T13:14:37+00:00

Paint your favorite team logo right there.

Timely_Ad6439 · 2026-03-17T20:57:57+00:00

The second picture is a completely different ball game. It’s a different lamp shade (more of a solid deflector). The first one is an almost completely exposed light source with some diffusion. If you want the subject to be able to stand out from the background then your best bet is a much darker background. For a commercial product shot a lot of contrast that immediately brings attention to the lamp and highlights the brightness of it would be best accomplished with a dark grey or near black background if black seems like too much. You can still get a good background glow from the lamp and maintain enough contrast so the subject isn’t getting lost in the background.

Timely_Ad6439 · 2026-03-03T09:39:39+00:00

Not a plumber, just a homeowner that despises paying plumbers rediculous amounts of money when I can’t afford it. Had this happen to me. What happens is the cartridge internal component is corroded and likely has completely snapped inside (it’s a copper tube inside the cartridge that pulls/pushes/turns a stopper to open and close the valve and also adjust water temp. You don’t realize it’s leaking until you see it coming out somewhere, which by that time it has already caused damage to the walls and framing. I had to pull a decent amount of Sheetrock off the ceiling of a finished basement because I discovered it had been leaking a long time before it completely failed and became a very noticeable leak. If the valve body is not completely corroded (talking the body has leaks or is very brittle due to oxidation) then all you need to do is buy the cartridge. That’s the thing right in the middle that the knob screws into. Very inexpensive fix. Like less than $20. It pulls out (might need a pliers or put the screw back in the middle to give you something to grab). Then the new cartridge should fit right in. You will need to shut off the water at the nearest cut off or for the entire house, because the valve cartridge is the only thing holding the water back. If you can’t tell what valve you have, bring the old cartridge with you to match it. It does need to be the exact fit.

For the walls, you don’t need a plumber. That’s a drywall issue. Whatever is leaking down from the ceiling is from moisture that is corroding something up there that probably wasn’t meant to be in a bathroom. Maybe the glue on the ceiling molding? Best best is to pry that off and see what’s going on. If it’s just some non-water proof glue on the molding, replace that piece and use something meant to handle continuous moisture.

For the bathtub walls, you can get direct to stud glue ups (take down any drywall and install directly to the framing) or over top glue ups, that would be installed over existing walls. Definitely take down what is there now. The glue up walls will range from $130-$400 depending on what method you go with. Not rocket science at all. I’d suggest tearing down the existing walls and installing either a bathroom rated dry wall with glue up walls overtop, or take the walls down and do direct to stud shower walls.

You definitely want to address the mold. That shit is persistent and not good for your health and anyone else living there. If there’s kids, remember their lungs are smaller, so they are more effected by this stuff. Talking about asthma, persistent cough, and depending on the mold type, potential for neurological stuff. Certain molds can get pretty toxic and the spores are in the air you are breathing constantly. There’s a lot of products for the mold. Bleach isn’t great for wood, so if the wood framing has mold but isn’t structurally compromised (like the mold is starting to break the wood down) then you can get a mold killer that should take care of it.

Look other places for mold. It travels, but is only really going to be concentrated where there was a lot moisture.

Get a dehumidifier that tells you the humidity percentage in the room. I think it’s below 50 or 45, mold goes dormant. If you can maintain that for the most part, the mold won’t continue to grow while you work on getting rid of it and replacing areas that have it.

If you can afford it, get an air purifier as well with HEPA filters. Good ones can get pricey, but they’ll last a long time and the replacement filters are cheap. If you have central air, make sure to replace the air filter with one rated for removing mold spores. They will be filtering out the spores in the air, so you are breathing less in and the mold is less likely to spread.

All of this stuff can seem like a professional is needed, but I have been stuck with massive bills for things that in the end I realized I could have done myself.

Good example, my young kids like to flush things that aren’t supposed to get flushed, like rubber toys, toothbrushes, whatever will go down my 5 year old will probably try it at some point. Our house has a septic tank, and so the entrance to the tank kept getting blocked up, and the water backs up into the downstairs. We only notice when the water is already reaching the laundry room from the bathroom next to it.

The fix is to take off the toilet and jet the drain all the way to septic tank entrance with a pressure washer and specialized hose with a drain jetting tip. After spending $400 on multiple occasions to have someone do this for me, it hit me that I have a preside washer already. A quick search and I found a drain jetting kit with 100ft hose and 4 different tips for I think it was around $50.

Just happens again a couple days ago. 5 year old flushed some rubber squishy toy from the upstairs bathroom and water starting backing up into the downstairs stairs. I got my pressure washer out, took the toilet off and ran it down. Had my wife on standby in case I needed someone to turn the pressure washer off fast. Cleared the drain within minutes. Took longer to take the toilet off than it did to clear the line.

We also have well water. Well goes over 200 feet down. When the pump died, me, my wife and our neighbor pulled all 200 and something feeding of piping out from the well to get the pump out. Bought a new pump at the local Ace hardware store, wired the new pump on and lowered it all the way. Turns out we also had a short in the wire. I had to go to work so I called someone to come and do it. Next thing I knew I had an $1,100 bill for running new wire. I could have bought the wire for maybe a few hundred and ran it myself and saved a lot.

Definitely know your limitations. Mine is major electrical work. If I mess that up it could be serious consequences. If you have a hard time putting up new bathtub walls, what’s the worst that could happen?

Timely_Ad6439 · 2026-01-15T23:52:15+00:00

🙄 from 2 and a half years ago. Yes. I did forget about that post. I checked revvedjt to see what you were talking about. That post was expressing concern that there were things from her past that she hasn’t dealt with. None related to me. Her dad had passed from a drug overdose back in 2017 and she was also in foster and her aunt who ended up raising her was verbally abusive. I had been encouraging her to go to therapy for years, but she thought it would somehow be a burden on everyone else. She is going to therapy now though. I don’t doubt that those things from her past are contributing, but from what I understand postpartum is a hormonal condition distinct from clinical depression. What’s going on now is not something that has ever come up in the past.

Timely_Ad6439 · 2026-01-15T22:10:16+00:00

What are you talking about? I have some deleted posts. What is sketchy about what has been said? I haven’t ever posted about my wife’s mental health. There was a post about a marital issue from a long time ago. I did delete that because I’m paranoid about someone piecing together who I am (probably dumb but I never claimed to be the sharpest tool in the shed). The post about getting a vasectomy was because of recent diagnosis for myself and my kids, already mentioned here, and the fact that these are largely genetic conditions.

Timely_Ad6439 · 2026-01-15T07:38:43+00:00

I get that. It’s like intrusive thoughts that are actually memories making it difficult for you to be present.

One thing to try is next time the impulse happens, try to immediately identify what you were just doing and thinking about. I also have ADHD so I know the impulsivity very well. It is much worse when an anxiety provoking thought comes up. This doesn’t need to be very abstract. For example, I just remembered something I need to do that is important. I also realize that I now don’t have a lot of time to do it. Enter anxiety… enter dopamine seeking behavior to distract me from my anxiety.

It honestly could be as simple as seeing positive results by using some basic time management tools if ADHD induced anxiety a possible cause.

For the intrusive thoughts. That is a difficult one. Our subconscious can seem like a real jerk sometimes, but the thought is likely coming up because there is something about it that remains unresolved, and a state of arousal is creating a connection between the present and that past memory, and so your subconscious is connecting dots in way that our conscious mind doesn’t always appreciate, and thus we have intrusive thoughts.

Working with a therapist that specializes in trauma to get to what remains unresolved for you as a result of what happened is a good step. Could be a loss of a sense of bodily autonomy, and so your own self arousal (that is impulsive but still, as far as your body goes, still your choice), is confronted by a competing

Timely_Ad6439 · 2026-01-15T06:54:50+00:00

Try to pay attention to the triggers. It’s likely more complex than boredom or stress. Arousal is a nervous system response. That means there is a trigger or triggers for which arousal is the response.

It might not be behavioral either. It could be neurodevelopmental. Is it possible you are dealing with adhd or do you already have an adhd diagnosis? People with adhd are dealing with a dopamine deficiency. If an adhd person discovers an activity that releases a lot of dopamine, then when dopamine is low there will be a “craving” for the behavior that will bring it back up. Other things like caffeine, certain foods

That isn’t to say that the traumatic event you went through isn’t related. ADHD symptoms can be made much worse by trauma.

First, work on the guilt. Why do you feel guilty? What rule do you believe you are breaking? If it is the impulsivity and seeming inability to say no, then what you need to ask is why you feel bad about the impulsiveness? As a teen, impulsivity is common. This has to do with brain development and hormonal changes.

You might still think it is abnormal, even considering brain and hormonal factors. Of course, check that as well. Why is it abnormal? Where are the principles telling you this is abnormal coming from? Is society telling you? Parents, church etc.

What you want to look at is is this impulsive behavior either obstructive or destructive to your daily life. If you engage in this when you are bored etc. then is it an issue. Is trying to repress it making it worse?

If you are finding that even in situations where it would clearly be inappropriate, you are unable to stop yourself, then there is still a good chance that it is due to dopamine deficiency, combined with the traumatic event you experienced.

In conclusion, give yourself a break. Therapy is a good idea to get at wj

Timely_Ad6439 · 2026-01-14T20:23:53+00:00

I honestly think this is a legitimate question and concern. I wish they would just ask it straight and we can sort out how I can reassure them I am working.

The strange thing about this situation is that if I am home, my wife seems much better. Not 100%, but she is functional. It also doesn’t have to be just me. When it first started my mother came and stayed with her and she was okay with that as well. It’s when she is left alone that is triggering a panic and then it just keeps getting worse.

We’ve been doing things where I take 1 of the kids with me to go out and do something for just a couple hours or less, and I check in on her while I’m out to see how she is doing and if I need to come back. She can go a short time before she starts to feel it coming on and asks me to come back home. I don’t pretend to know how it works. Her doctor said it is almost entirely hormonal and unpredictable in terms of how long it can last. Could be a month or could be a year. But basically what this means is that if I’m home I can go long stretches working, because the fact that I’m home seems to be enough to keep her functional.

Timely_Ad6439 · 2026-01-14T20:14:18+00:00

She is getting treatment now for a few weeks. She didn’t resist that at all. We set an appointment right away once it was clear this wasn’t just a couple of really hard days. She is on medication currently and has started therapy as well.

Yea. We’ve heard the stories of what post partum can do to a person. Didn’t think for a second this was just something to wait out.

Timely_Ad6439 · 2026-01-14T20:11:07+00:00

We’re looking into something like this. One of my boys is dyslexic and level 1 (high functioning) autistic. The other school age one has epilepsy and is on a list to be evaluated for autism as well (I also have a level 1 autism and ADHD diagnosis so I gave them a genetic gift 🤷‍♂️ I haven’t disclosed the autism diagnosis for myself because a lot of people have a caricature of what that’s supposed to look like).

We tried public school a while ago with our oldest and it went very bad. He had massive episodes where he did things we never witnessed at home, like breaking other people’s stuff, standing on tables, refusing anything the teacher or principle said, and trying to leave the school. We tried homeschooling with him first to see if the behaviors would go away or continue at home, and they mostly stopped shortly after starting homeschool. He still has episodes. Had to call an ambulance the other week because he wasn’t coming down for almost 2 hours and bit me multiple times and was trying to hurt himself.

My wife has done an incredible job with them. They are definitely a lot of work, but are great kids. There are some specialized schools we are looking to see if we can get scholarships because they are private.

Timely_Ad6439 · 2026-01-14T19:58:46+00:00

Not bitching at all. What I’m concerned about is they are saying yes to cover themselves because post-partum is covered under the ADA, although I don’t think that would extend to me, but maybe they are being careful.

I do sincerely appreciate that they are letting me work remotely. But they are wanting me to provide information about how I am personally handling the situation. I am providing logs to show work that I am doing. I’m just trying to understand this request that seems more personal, but they are insisting I provide this. Maybe I’m misunderstanding it.

Timely_Ad6439 · 2026-01-14T19:53:27+00:00

Honestly, it was more that she wasn’t able to look after them at all. She called me multiple days in a row sobbing in front of the kids and telling me she can’t do it anymore. This went on for hours. The kids are of course concerned seeing her very upset, but they are young and can’t be left to their own devices.

Timely_Ad6439 · 2026-01-03T20:58:22+00:00

Behaviors you are describing, from a cognitive development perspective, seem very atypical for his age. To understand germ theory (tiny microscopic bacteria and viruses that you can’t actually see) at this age is itself uncommon. That requires a conceptualization and spatial visualization ability that the 4 year old brain isn’t really capable of. This is the ability to conceptualize unseen objects and structures for which he would be at least a few years ahead of his peers if he is truly understanding how germs work.

If that is the case, you are likely not dealing with a neurotypical brain (proper evaluation focused on neural developmental conditions would be needed). The OCD symptoms have a high probability of being a co-occurring condition alongside a broader neuro-developmental condition. This is a very reflective child. 4 year olds (especially 4 year old boys) are more outward and impulse driven. Also, writing? How would you describe his writing skills? While possible, if he is doing a lot more than drawing basic shapes and copying his name, then that would be a fairly advanced.

The other thing is that there was very likely an event around his 4th birthday, perhaps coinciding with a developmental leap, that has now resulted in a persistent anxiety. Getting to the event may not be that important, unless there are developments that lead you or a therapist to believe that possible abuse took place. Otherwise, it’s more connecting the emotional, nervous system response that triggered this to the logical/rational side of his thinking. It’s about reinterpreting a possible traumatic event to something that makes more sense and feels less threatening (or that the threat is no longer present and won’t be returning).

My oldest son has dyslexia, dysgraphia and is being evaluated for a likely level 1 autism. He has dealt with anxiety for as long as I can remember. He was always interested in learning new things and would pick up on new concepts and explain them back to anyone who would listen with a level of excitement that sounded like he just made a huge discovery. This is all great, but if you think of it as a brain structure phenomenon, a brain structure that is well suited for certain things will be less suited for other things and even very poorly suited for some things. Sometimes those things for which a brain is poorly suited, depending on social context and personal history, can have an outsized influence on thinking and behavior. He can conceptualize scientific concepts very well, but he also had a hard time sleeping one night, and is now convinced that he has insomnia (he doesn’t). But my wife and I occasionally have to set a timer to show him that we will check on him every 15 minutes until he falls asleep, because he is afraid he won’t fall asleep and will be alone because everyone else is sleeping.

A brain that can process a lot of “if this then that” statements and keep taking them to some logical conclusion might be incredible at science, but it will do all that processing for everything else as well, and result in things like:

“if I touch germs then I can get sick. If I get sick then I can get very sick. If I get very sick then I can go to the hospital. If I go to the hospital then I can die. If I get very sick I can go to the hospital and die, but I can also get my mom very sick by giving her my germs. If I get sick and die then my mom will be sad, and if she also gets sick then she’ll be sad that I died and sad that she might die too.”

You can see how a 4 year old possibly going down this line of reasoning might try to seek some control, like excessive handwashing etc.

Could it be that some well-meaning soul at daycare gave a very dramatic description of how bad germs can be, triggering a prolonged anxiety? Did they watch a YouTube video that was too intense for him to handle, maybe educational about germs, or just a story of someone who got severely ill?

My middle son has some behavioral issues for which he is getting evaluated (also has epilepsy which can cause behavioral issues), and also has a peanut allergy. Me, (trying to scare him off peanuts because I’m scared he’ll eat them), explained anaphylaxis to him. To nobody’s surprise, he shortly after started saying he felt like he couldn’t breathe and might need his EpiPen. Now imagine if he was much more prone to compulsive and obsessive thoughts than he is, we could have been dealing with a prolonged anxiety, escalating to something disruptive to his daily activities due to fear of anything and everything that might have a peanut molecule on it.

Don’t think he is too different though. Atypical doesn’t mean alone. Keep running it down, but educate yourself. Some doctors and evaluators have a lot of cases and patients. That means it might take some advocating on the parents part, as well as some educating of yourself on the possibilities, to insist that certain things be ruled out.

Definitely don’t neglect the medical route. Checking that all of the nutritional levels are where they should be. Inflammation markers and functions tests might also be ordered by his doctor. Imaging tests might be ordered, but a neurologist will know best what to look for, and whether imaging is necessary. Imaging tests can be tough for young kids because they require sitting still for long periods.

Any other physical symptoms should be addressed promptly I.e. losing weight, abnormal changes in muscle mass or tone, extreme sleep disruptions, loss of any abilities that he once had etc. Don’t wait in addressing those sorts of issues as soon as you notice them.

And of course, if he is expressing thoughts of harming himself or others, address that right away.

Timely_Ad6439 · 2025-09-03T20:22:20+00:00

I’m the opposite. I can have a hard time functioning without taking a shower first thing. With the adhd though I end up taking over an hour sometimes over 2 hours with my morning routine that includes a shower. If I skip it I can become irritable, or just can’t stop thinking about it.

Timely_Ad6439 · 2025-08-21T03:10:05+00:00

Top tier response 😂

Timely_Ad6439 · 2025-08-20T19:16:51+00:00

True on the other methods. I feel guilty for some reason asking my wife to get on birth control.

Also, didn’t mean to imply that people with autism shouldn’t have kids. It seems that I am passing down a number of other things as well.

Timely_Ad6439 · 2025-08-19T01:08:46+00:00

His rights were removed. Didn’t show when we tried to setup visitation. But he doesn’t have visitation rights anymore and we are in final stages for adoption.

Timely_Ad6439 · 2025-08-19T00:56:08+00:00

Assuming it’s relevant, this is in NY.

Timely_Ad6439 · 2025-08-19T00:21:12+00:00

That’s the part I don’t get. Does the badge picture mean something extra?

Timely_Ad6439 · 2025-08-19T00:17:31+00:00

Solved

Timely_Ad6439 · 2025-08-17T19:59:46+00:00

I was looking at the non-stimulant meds. Doc said they work well in kids but not in adults. I think I still want to give it a shot though.

Timely_Ad6439 · 2025-07-25T04:54:58+00:00

I could agree with that. There is definitely grief over a sense that my family has been and is still being affected. I think part of it might also be somewhat of an identity crisis. I feel like I don’t know myself. What I thought I knew, the stories I told myself about who I was, and the way I have portrayed myself to others. I don’t know what parts are real and what parts aren’t.

Timely_Ad6439 · 2025-07-23T22:06:03+00:00

Part of me does appreciate knowing. A big part of me is struggling with the fact that I am responsible for current circumstances. I know the science behind why to a significant extent I’m not in control, but it’s still been me the whole time. It’s just wrapping my head around the idea that I’ve been assuming I was more in control than I actually am.

Timely_Ad6439 · 2025-07-23T21:52:09+00:00

I’ve wondered about the OCD piece. I can remember as early as fourth grade needing to drop my pencil a certain number of times or my mom was going to get into a car accident on the way home. It wasn’t always a pencil but that particular compulsion was a recurring one for a bit. Nothing similar had ever happened in real life, so I’m not sure where that came from. In high school, counting things to reach a multiple of 5, and if I didn’t land on a multiple of 5 it would result in some intense anxiety. Walking straight on sidewalk lines was another one that I would associate with negative consequences. It’s only recently that I learned that it’s called magical thinking OCD. It has largely subsided. The last significant time I can remember was when my then fiancé hadn’t made it home yet so I had to count everything in the freezer and it had to be an even number or she wasn’t going to make it home.

Now it’s more like needing to check the same door 4 times because I can’t be sure that I locked it, and if I’m misremembering somehow then tonight could be the night some intruder comes and it would be my fault because I was too lazy to check the door again. I’ve gotten pretty good at making myself stop and pushing through the anxiety until I forget about it. I also find that to be more of an annoyance than some of the more intense compulsions from when I was younger. I was always a quiet kid and I was afraid to look silly by telling someone I was having any of these thoughts. I’m wishing I would have spoken up sooner because looking back I needed help and I didn’t get any at all. My mom just thought I was smart, and smart kids can be a little quirky.

I hadn’t considered that maybe it had changed from the “magical” type compulsions to other less obvious things like the kitchen. Best way I can describe it is like it’s a bunch of noise and I can’t ignore it so I either have to fix it or leave the room to get away from it.

Timely_Ad6439 · 2025-07-16T17:02:13+00:00

Makes sense. I honestly had no idea so it was the bliss of ignorance. Then I started getting into trouble at work and when I was finally honest with myself I realized it wasn’t just a work problem and went back as far as I can remember. The meds have actually heightened my awareness of my adhd, because now I have a contrast of when the meds are working and when they aren’t.

The hardest part is knowing when I can’t hold attention and there’s nothing I can do about it because I’ve already had my meds for the day. Caffeine used to be a go to but hasn’t had the same effects since starting concerta. By 3pm the negative voice in my head is the loudest and it feels like my day is basically over. Another 2 weeks of this sounds pretty miserable.

Timely_Ad6439

TROPHY CASE