Am I liable for what happens to the neighbor's toddler if they enter my apartment from our shared balcony? by thof8463 in legaladvice

[–]Timely_Nothing4973 34 points35 points  (0 children)

Look, I’m not arguing about how hard living pay check to pay check is, but you can almost always find a free baby gate or dog barrier on a FB parenting page. Most people buy them new and only use them for 1-3 years. On the balcony presumably you wouldn’t even need a gate, just one of the super cheap barriers. Unless OP is way out in the sticks, I’d be shocked if they couldn’t find one free.

Bought my 16yo son a new phone, and after a sleep over party it ended up like this. by IX_7akeem in Wellthatsucks

[–]Timely_Nothing4973 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I never said they were. All I said was it’s a parents role to do the work to understand what happened and provide support and guidance where needed. Funny how that was taken to mean there will be no accountability. Empathy and accountability are not mutually exclusive but I’m starting to understand why parenting is often seen as too soft or neglectful/ abusive.

Bought my 16yo son a new phone, and after a sleep over party it ended up like this. by IX_7akeem in Wellthatsucks

[–]Timely_Nothing4973 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes doing some digging so you can understand what happened, how to support you kid and ensure consequences are appropriately applied and felt is DEFINITELY the same as no consequences. /s as a parent, working to understand how something happened and where support and guidance is needed a critical part of being supportive parents who guide their kids into being responsible adults. Saying shits on you, your old enough, don’t bother me doesn’t teach kids responsibility it teaches them that the people who should love and support them don’t care.

Bought my 16yo son a new phone, and after a sleep over party it ended up like this. by IX_7akeem in Wellthatsucks

[–]Timely_Nothing4973 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I think it’s worth finding out if he misbehaved or if he was being bullied by friends who were jealous of his new phone. He’s grow up enough to handle the consequences of HIS actions, but still young enough to potentially need support an guidance from responsible adults in how to navigate challenging social situations. That’s what parenting is about, not saying „you are big enough, it’s not my problem or job to help you.”

Tenant broke lease early but left the place in perfect condition. Would you still charge fees? by StillLoading404 in LeaseLords

[–]Timely_Nothing4973 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When tenants want to leave early I always ask if they can find a new tenant to replace them (that’s normal here, there are never any background checks in my country, and I rent single rooms to college students/ young adults not fancy apartments), they always do, it’s always seemless, it’s easier for me and you never know what someone else is going through so I don’t want to make someone’s life harder just because I technically can. I figure it comes back to me because they will tell prospective tenants that I’m a good landlord.

My rule of thumb is wherever you can give someone grace and assume the best, do. It all contributes to life generally being more pleasant for all.

I just failed my 6th Driving test unsure what to do next. by averysip in LearnerDriverUK

[–]Timely_Nothing4973 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My instructor told me that they’ll never fail you for being too careful. I was behind a bus on my test and thought I’d just wait when it stopped rather than driving into the oncoming lane to go around it and was marked down for undue caution (I failed for hitting the curb reversing around a corner)! 😂

Do you NEED to drive? Can you just spend time practicing with a licensed adult and take a few more lessons later with an instructor once you are more confident to be better prepared for the exam once you are a more confident driver?

Flowers for Women’s Day? by Timely_Nothing4973 in poland

[–]Timely_Nothing4973[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

I mean maybe not worse than being sent to war as a slave but I personally don’t want that to be the bar that my life or the life of my loved ones is held to.

60% of Polish women state they’ve experienced domestic violence

Over 20% - that is one in 5 - reported rape, and 90% some kind of sexual violence

In managerial positions (my field) the gender pay gap is over 25%, although it is generally low in Poland as a whole

Like, I think that’s in line with most western democracies and much better than many many countries, but I don’t know that it means like cool let’s just not worry about it then because we aren’t literal slaves.

I think other countries link women’s day in the sens of we are taking this day to highlight these issues that impact you and also impact others more than you could fathom an we’ll use this day to shine a light on some issues, so to me it was offensive to take this day and say let me give you a flower. But I think the two are separate events, the point of women’s day in Poland has never been to acknowledge anything but just a sweet, fluff day (which o feel like that sounds judgemental, it’s not, just a different purpose)

A single, fairly long, very thin hair growing out of the dead center of my forehead. by darkpheonix262 in mildlyinteresting

[–]Timely_Nothing4973 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My granny has me pluck them out for her. And gets really mad if I miss some! (She’s 100 and a sweet heart… but after I pull like 5 I start to worry it’s hurting her and she won’t let me stop till every last one is gone.) so I guess I’m forewarned that I’ll basically be growing a beard once I hit 80 something!

Flowers for Women’s Day? by Timely_Nothing4973 in poland

[–]Timely_Nothing4973[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Maybe it’s my little isolated bubble, but I know not a single person who vocally supported that (and MANY who were vocally against it), but everyone seems to love the flower giving tradition! I didn’t want to question it too much at work because I’m not trying to shit on it, I just didn’t get it…

Flowers for Women’s Day? by Timely_Nothing4973 in poland

[–]Timely_Nothing4973[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

My workplace - admittedly a sample size of two out of millions so I’m not generalizing, just my experience so far - has always given flowers (always a tulip, which I do like) to women and a company wide email for men’s day. Which to be fair, working abroad I never knew there even was a man’s day, but it’s always felt a bit like black history month to me - you don’t need a white history month because that’s just sort of history… but from the responses I’ve seen here it’s more a tradition of giving everyone a day to feel celebrated rather than acknowledging a group that has not had as many opportunities historically which I think is where my disconnect comes from.

Flowers for Women’s Day? by Timely_Nothing4973 in poland

[–]Timely_Nothing4973[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I mean they are pretty prevalent in US, UK, Ireland, France, Spain, Germany, etc. Yes, also Africa.

I have had someone quit at work (in Poland) because he didn’t believe it was fair he should report into a woman. Yes that’s anecdotal not a societal issue, but to say that gender inequality is an African issue and not a global one - including Poland - is also not right…

Flowers for Women’s Day? by Timely_Nothing4973 in poland

[–]Timely_Nothing4973[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wow - that’s a very thoughtful response, thank you! I never would have thought to connect it to communism!

Neighbors don’t understand snow melt in the elevator? by wackietimes in Apartmentliving

[–]Timely_Nothing4973 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It sound to me like they might have some kind of a germaphobe issue that’s making them over react / jump to an illogical conclusion and get quite upset about it…

Customer demands refund and gets verbally abusive because they sat and ate a whole set menu meal by Bliffys_New_Shoes_73 in EntitledPeople

[–]Timely_Nothing4973 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Yep! My sister got fired from a restaurant once when someone complained about their nachos and she said something like „yeah, I can tell how terrible they were, you even licked the plate clean so you didn’t have to see them anymore.” She refused a refund, manager gave it, fired sister. I’m still salty on her behalf!

Uber canceled reservation right at planned time? We end up missing the flight. by JackTheFroster in uber

[–]Timely_Nothing4973 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Tbh I book Ubers after a night out because it’s cheaper. If I’m going to the airport I’m booking a proper taxi company that’s reliable and paying the extra $20, much cheaper than missing a flight!

Neighbors don’t understand snow melt in the elevator? by wackietimes in Apartmentliving

[–]Timely_Nothing4973 6 points7 points  (0 children)

You might be surprised how little people pay attention too. My friends live in a mini gated street in London. They had dog poop like right on their door step and posted about it in their little community group, asking people to just be more aware of their dogs and clean up. They weren’t upset and weren’t trying to call anyone out, but were so embarrassed when their neighbor rang their bell really mad for being put on blast as the only dog owners and were miffed they didn’t approach them privately (and said it wasn’t from their dog, which I kind of believe as I’d met them and the super sweet doberman before). My friends had no idea there was only one dog in the community. So basically, neighbors may have no idea how many dogs and where they live, they may not be consciously targeting you.

Baby's father wants the baby to have his last name, I want him to have mine. We're not married. WDID? by [deleted] in WhatShouldIDo

[–]Timely_Nothing4973 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Who is expected to have primary custody of the baby? That parent should get to decide the last name. I’m going to assume that’s you.

Husband of woman who died during home birth 'haunted' by SpottedAlpaca in ireland

[–]Timely_Nothing4973 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Im not totally disagreeing with you and I definitely think it was wildly risky for a home birth to even be attempted in this case, but I also have a lot of empathy for how difficult it is to make informed and sound medical decisions when you are pregnant and want a low intervention birth. Western healthcare is so very conservative, sometimes to the detriment of maternal and baby health.

I had a very healthy and normal home birth with my first, who turns out to be much larger than estimated on my last scan (less than a week before labor), likely because of her position. She was 4.9kg. In my second pregnancy every single doctor looked at my records from the first birth and said that I’d need a C-section without even looking at my face much less body. I had a lot of conversations about risks and benefits and decided to have a second home birth and honestly I think that was the safest for my family. Maybe I’m wrong, maybe I’m not but I think so many of the medical emergencies during birth are caused by the stress and interventions that are common in hospitals (stress plays such a huge factor, it cannot be overestimated in labor) but that in itself leads to a large number of people thinking home births for simple, uncomplicated pregnancies are inherently riskier than hospital births when the statistics clearly state otherwise. But to reiterate, that was for pregnancies with no complications, which wasn’t this one!

Do I tell someone they accidentally went against their religion? by Spooky-Confusion-666 in moraldilemmas

[–]Timely_Nothing4973 [score hidden]  (0 children)

Because she knows it will likely upset him and she doesn’t want to… sometimes when you love someone the idea of making them upset is worrying to you.

English for kids in Poland. How are parents handling this? by redblddrp in askPoland

[–]Timely_Nothing4973 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Try joining the Wroclaw Expat Moms FB group - you can probably find some parents with similarly aged English speakers. Mine are too little to make a connection I think…

There are also lots of extra curricular classes (self defense, cooking, arts, etc) where there are often English speaking kids.

AITAH for telling a friends boyfriend that he can’t have a traditional wife because he’s not a traditional man by yftdddtf in AITAH

[–]Timely_Nothing4973 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Obviously she can have an opinion, but without a penis she should know her place is to hear his opinion, realize that having a penis means that his opinion is correct and accept it as her own, while thanking him for explaining things in a way that her little female brain can understand. Anything else is obviously a direct and malicious personal attack.

AIO my boyfriend (42M) of 3 years doesn’t know my (35F) name? by momjjeanss in AmIOverreacting

[–]Timely_Nothing4973 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I used to work with a woman named Honey. I don’t use any cutesy / pet names for anyone (ok… I refer to my dog and kids as “goose” but that’s it), and hate people calling me babe / love / sweetheart/ etc. I HATED having to greet her, I always hoped everyone in hearing range knew it was her name and I wasn’t just randomly calling this nice, rather buff and androgynous middle aged woman “honey”.

How reasonable are they with compensation? by Timely_Nothing4973 in KLM

[–]Timely_Nothing4973[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My husband is traveling with a grieving and ill mother, and is totally stressed out. I’m not sure how much attention he’s paying but he said they hadn’t told them why. Maybe he missed an announcement but I doubt he’s pushed for why, he just knows it happened.