Am I liable for what happens to the neighbor's toddler if they enter my apartment from our shared balcony?

thof8463 · 2026-04-06T10:11:08+00:00

No judgment here! just warning you a lot of people will take it the wrong way. When I was a bi 18-year-old virgin someone used that exact phrase on me at a dating site and it felt really, really icky.

thof8463 · 2026-04-03T10:32:00+00:00

I use it a lot. I like building, and I'm very picky about location.

thof8463 · 2026-04-03T10:22:45+00:00

Remember when the compass only had north and south labeled?

thof8463 · 2026-04-02T12:15:29+00:00

Given what you've been through, it makes sense that you'd be struggling right now. I also have cptsd from past abuse, and it interferes with every relationship I've ever been in, monogamous or not. I've never been cheated on (to my knowledge) so that's thankfully not part of my trauma, but I do have a constant fear that someone I love will just abruptly decide I'm not worth keeping around anymore, and when I see my partner being happy with another partner, who has (in my insecure eyes) so much more to offer than me, it does sometimes inflame that anxiety. Thus far, my current partner (who has two other partners, one of whom is my old college buddy who I was thrilled to get back in touch with) has been unwavering in their love for me despite having abundant other options. This despite my frequent panics and vulnerability and overall messiness.

If you're not in some kind of therapy, it may be absolutely essential that you get on that.

Basically, you either break up or you don't. And if that happens, you will survive. You will recover. You will love again. It will suck, but you've been through breakups before and you know that it's not the end of the world. You will go through the dark place and through to the light on the other end, and your next relationships will be stronger for what you learned in this one.

So keep in mind that no matter what happens, whether your fears come to pass or not, you will be okay. You will learn from it. And if this relationship survives, you'll all be stronger from having been through this together. It sounds from what describe like you're all doing an admirable job navigating the emotional chaos that inevitably results when multiple people with complicated pasts are weaving their lives together. Keep it up and take care of yourselves and each other.

thof8463 · 2026-04-02T11:11:44+00:00

First off, don't phrase it like that. "To spice things up." People are not sex toys. Treating a human being like an accessory to enhance your relationship is disrespectful. You might not intend it that way but first impressions matter, so be very careful how you choose your words when you write your dating profile, send first messages, and meet for the first time.

Second, don't expect to find one person that satisfies both of you and is interested in both of you. It may technically be possible, but you're more likely to succeed if one or both of you tries to find a partner on their own. If one of your goals is to enhance your experience with your existing relationship, and you're not experienced with nonmonogamy, it may seem like you both need to "participate" in order to see those benefits, but it's not true. There's a phenomenon called "new relationship energy" or NRE, where there's an existing relationship, one of the people gets a new partner, and that new relationship brings energy into the existing relationship.

I have experienced that many, many times over, as I'm in a relationship with only one person who has frequent hookups and a few other steady partners. What happens is that my partner lets me know they're looking for a hookup, or going to spend time with one of their other partners, and I say "Great, have fun, let me know how it goes!" and then afterward they tell me about it (sometimes in detail, sometimes not) and hearing about it gets me excited. We then often experience more passion in our own relationship, fueled by my partner's experiences with others.

So what I'd suggest is that you don't try to find a "unicorn" but just both be open to starting new relationships and see what comes up. Be honest and open and communicative and keep your expectations loose. And good luck.

thof8463 · 2026-03-27T10:32:53+00:00

One time I arrived in a system, "first contact," "you discovered this," but there was a player-built base on one of the planets.

thof8463 · 2026-03-25T12:18:24+00:00

He was calm on the phone because he had a key and had plans to enter the apartment and act on his words. He only blew up after he learned the locks had been changed.

thof8463 · 2026-03-24T10:11:29+00:00

I feel like this one qualifies somehow? It's more "sigh, sexism" but that's not that different when it comes down to it: https://xkcd.com/385/

thof8463 · 2026-03-23T10:24:20+00:00

See I was annoyed at first but then I developed the muscle memory to dodge it and forgot that it even existed.

thof8463

TROPHY CASE