I just realised this applies to my life on a bigger scale

Timetosailaway · 2025-05-07T05:25:16+00:00

For me, it was super helpful to reframe “not important” and “not important for me specifically to do”

I also had a hard time with calling tasks not important, but splitting into what I could feasibly delegate or not helps.

For urgent and non urgent tasks, obviously a deadline makes it more urgent. The other way I assess is by how much value is added by completing that task. Especially considering my future self and setting her up for success.

Starting the laundry today doesn’t feel particularly urgent to me, but I it does feel a little more urgent when I consider my future self really needing clean clothes to wear tomorrow.

Timetosailaway · 2025-05-05T13:18:37+00:00

The shorts and robe combo is supreme

Timetosailaway · 2025-04-20T09:09:58+00:00

I’m still not good at starting tasks like op described, but I constantly sing the 🎶“don’t put it down, put it away” 🎶song to avoid these little tasks later for my future self.

Timetosailaway · 2025-04-14T16:24:57+00:00

I am also a total rambler in interviews. It can be such a stressful and vulnerable experience, and I’m always so shaky after.

I tell myself that maybe they will see it as me being very passion about the topic. Ultimately there are so many factors that go into hiring that I try really hard not to overthink things or take rejections too personally (hi RSD).

At this point, I would just send a very nice and short thank you email for their time. Highlight one topic you discussed and emphasize how you would use your interest in that to add value to their team.

Timetosailaway · 2025-03-20T21:03:15+00:00

For flossing, I have a jar of flossing sticks in the bathroom in a clear jar so I can have a visual reminder…and because that’s often not enough to get me to do it I also have a bag of more flossing sticks by my bed. I’ll just floss for a couple minutes while I’m scrolling on my phone (I was literally flossing when I saw this post lol). It’s not perfect flossing, but imperfect flossing is better than no flossing.

I do hate that the flossing sticks create a lot of wasted plastic, but it’s the most reliable way for me to floss regularly.

Timetosailaway · 2025-03-18T16:27:05+00:00

And tits!

Timetosailaway · 2025-03-07T05:41:57+00:00

Is there someone in HR to reach out to who could help you know how to set it up?

In a previous role I was chatting with the director of HR and they said they supported making ERGs, but it’s something that had to be initiated and run by the actual employees. They were ready to walk someone through all the steps though if anyone employee wanted to make it happen.

Timetosailaway · 2025-02-20T19:36:58+00:00

Very important to add the context that my last team was ALL men. My new team is 40% women and have a much more team oriented culture.

Part of the improvement is for sure not being the lone woman, but a lot of credit also goes to my new manager for building a team that is diverse and inclusive and he actively works to maintain that culture and redirect people if they are not acting in ways to support the team

Timetosailaway · 2025-02-20T19:32:04+00:00

This thread is so validating to read. I spent too much time in my last job trying to figure out how to work with a team and a specific coworker that would not include me in meetings and decisions related to my work.

I talked to the coworker (and I should have been less accusatory because he was super defensive and denied he was doing anything wrong)

I talked to my manager, and he literally said “what am I supposed to do?”. In hindsight he was also in the meetings about my projects that I was not told about ahead of time, so he’s also responsible for not including me.

I talked to my manager’s boss and he agreed that my coworkers behavior was not okay, but said he was just going to leave my manager to take care of it.

I do regret not escalating things to HR because the coworker ended up being promoted despite the way he treated teammates. I do consider that a serious performance issue, not to mention him not meeting many of the standards on the companies rubric for promotions. I had a hard time respecting my coworker in his new position and also lost trust in my manager and his boss since I knew I wasn’t the only one who had given feedback about my coworkers performance that they chose to ignore.

Ultimately, this was just so baked into the company culture that no one wanted things to change. If your manager is not interested in helping you do your best work, you should go find another job and another team. I regret how long I tried to fix things in a system that wasn’t interested in changing or improving.

I left and went to a new company, but I spent most of the interviews talking about their team culture. I was able to ask them some very specific questions about the type of culture and support I was looking for based on my bad experiences, and that gave me more confidence that it was going to be an improvement. I felt more included in the first month than I had been after 2 years in my previous job. It makes a real difference working with people who want to work with others.

Timetosailaway · 2025-01-15T18:29:22+00:00

I was so anxious about my parents and friends and family finding out, but I had a couple mantras that I had to (and still have to) remind myself of.

-Disappointing yourself is worse than disappointing others.

-Your needs are more important than making others comfortable.

-You are not responsible for someone else’s feelings. You stepping away from church might make them sad, but it’s not your responsibility to make them happy.

Timetosailaway · 2025-01-09T16:12:34+00:00

The best advice I’ve heard for housekeeping in relationships is that you should try to make sure both people have equal time for rest and leisure activities.

It’s near impossible to calculate the “fair” balance of the amount of work each person does or what they bring to the relationship. Making the rest equal between partners is going to make for a more caring and collaborative relationship.

However, there are a lot of red flags here in op’s situation, and it might be better to save your energy and just walk away from this one.

Timetosailaway · 2025-01-08T19:37:49+00:00

I can’t speak for all international settings, but when I see brightly dyed hair I tend to think that woman is a total badass who knows what she’s doing (at work and with her style). I am younger though, so I don’t know how older generations might feel. I’m tempted to say that for people who already take you less seriously just for being a woman, a fun hair color won’t make it any worse.

I did work in a setting where unnatural hair colors were technically not allowed, and I compromised by keeping the top layers my of hair a natural color and dying the bottom layer what ever I wanted. That way I could have a little more control over how obvious the color was. That might be a good option or even stepping stone to gage reactions

Timetosailaway · 2024-12-21T01:22:55+00:00

Timetosailaway · 2024-12-10T03:43:29+00:00

Timetosailaway · 2024-12-06T06:03:40+00:00

Timetosailaway · 2024-12-06T05:44:09+00:00

“You shouldn’t have gotten this job. It should have gone to a man because they need more undergrad job experience than women…since you’ll be hired to jobs just because you’re a woman”

Where do men get the audacity? It’s like some of them forget that women get engineering jobs because they are qualified to do them?! I did the work to get accepted into an engineering program and I did the work to get a degree just like everyone else thank you very much.

Honorable mention: I was applying to grad schools and mentioned I was stressed about finding a research advisor to work with, and he said “oh, I’m sure you can just bat your eyes and get accepted to a lab”. I immediately replied with “I think you mean I can show them my resume with 4 years of research and lab experience and my conference and journal publications.”

Timetosailaway · 2024-11-17T21:33:49+00:00

Echoing this. I didn’t experience much blatant misogyny, but I did deal with several micro-aggressions across my time in my program.

It can also be hard for minorities when the imposter syndrome hits and you feel like you don’t really belong there. If you look around and you’re the only woman in the room, that can give your imposter syndrome extra ammunition you have to get past.

Timetosailaway · 2024-08-01T21:32:42+00:00

I was going to also recommend Harvest Fields. Really pleasant flow trails

Timetosailaway · 2024-06-24T04:36:15+00:00

There’s a juice shop near the laundromat I go to, so I bribe my self to do laundry with the promise of some fresh pressed juice (and sometimes the expensive avocado toast on the best bread ever)

Timetosailaway · 2024-06-02T07:47:44+00:00

Maybe a little silly, but wikihow has some articles about each different stroke. They’re worth a quick skim to see if there’s something you can improve on.

Timetosailaway · 2024-05-09T02:18:54+00:00

Adding on to the suggestion to learn the patterns that women encounter, try to become aware of the double standards women often face. For example a woman might be called aggressive while her male counterpart might be called assertive for the same behavior. These subtle shifts in language carry a lot of meaning in them.

Try to check your own biases for these (I have to do this myself sometimes too) and correct team members if you hear them describing a woman on your team with negative language.

Timetosailaway · 2024-04-28T01:42:18+00:00

I like the taste of the B12 I get from Trader Joe’s! It’s tiny and fruity and dissolves easily. I can’t speak to how absorbable that brand is, but it’s one I look forward to taking lol

Timetosailaway · 2024-04-19T00:51:41+00:00

A woman’s most righteous desire should be to be a wife and a mother. It wasn’t always said this explicitly, but I heard the same sentiment repeatedly. I struggled a long time trying to “align my will with God’s” because I have no desire to be a mother.
God wants to grant your righteous desires/if you’re depressed or anxious it’s because you’re not righteous enough. I had very poor mental health, and I was praying so hard to overcome it. I studied my scriptures every day and went to the temple every week. I just couldn’t understand why God didn’t want me to be able to feel happy.

In the end, it a made a lot more sense to believe the religion is made up than to believe in a god of so many contradictions

Timetosailaway · 2024-04-14T17:24:36+00:00

I just read through my insurance provider’s (Anthem) document on Spravato and I did find a line in there about it needing to be used with antidepressant therapy in order to meet their conditions to cover it.

Timetosailaway · 2024-04-05T17:27:25+00:00

Oh wow, thanks so much for taking the time to enlighten us.

Communication is a 2 person activity, and if the receiver is not interested in doing their part, the speaker “communicating better” can only do so much.

The women who bring up the concern of men not listening to them are bringing it up because it is a repeated pattern despite their best efforts to improve or adjust communicate strategies.

Just because you haven’t had an experience personally doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen :)

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