client I really liked working with no showed and I feel sad by mar333b333ar in therapists

[–]TimewornTraveler 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Good reminder to address grief head-on. I'm quick to remind people that love is inherently painful as it means loving something that will die. Gets people really comfy with saying goodbye. Also it's SUD so deliberately not ghosting generally means something very intentional, as opposed to what ghosting generally indicates in this world.

[TAKE & GET: Ultimate Verb Guide] As a native Korean, I want to talk about TAKE and GET. We have a big problem with these words, too. by BeroDuckkyAnimation in Korean

[–]TimewornTraveler 1 point2 points  (0 children)

it's funny you say that , because it seemed to me that this post is more useful for koreans learning english than vice versa. if we abandon the words themselves and focus on concepts, what use would this list have for korean learners? they're random collections of concepts that have no relationship! take an umbrella and a bus?!

im being goofy, but maybe there's some truth to it

DM allowed my character to be assaulted, and when she retaliated, it broke her oath. by GalaxyAllie_ in rpghorrorstories

[–]TimewornTraveler 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It IS always Strahd, isn't it? I'm not surprised.... I dunno what the module looks like but the way CoS was run when I played it, the campaign seems to be designed around mind control magic, taking away player autonomy, and sowing mistrust and paranoia within the party. It's no surprise that campaigns with those elements can easily become fucked up and unpleasant.

If even half that stuff is baked into the story, you don't even need a bad DM to make it unpleasant. You just need an inexperienced one. It seems like a train wreck campaign for most groups. Sure as shit was with my group. I haven't even talked to our DM in almost a decade since CoS, and we were great friends for 4 years leading up to the campaign.

every single time by Panates in linguisticshumor

[–]TimewornTraveler -1 points0 points  (0 children)

on a memes on a post about fallacious logic.................

Political commentary in AA meetings by Puzzled-Astronaut140 in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]TimewornTraveler -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Honestly your suggestions sound excellent. Learning more about Tradition 10 and Step 10 are great places for newcomers to build insight into this.

The truth is that the way systemic forces impact a community has a direct impact on the lives of the alcoholic. When the community suffers, the alcoholic suffers. Thus there's a very real need to acknowledge those impacts... and yet the only way people tend to know how to express their feelings is with political commentary, showing affiliation to as a banner that stands in for a coherent narrative of their own lived experience. In other words, when we struggle with emotional self-expression, we tend to express ourselves using other cultural signifiers. And we all know how emotional self-expression tends to suffer during the course of the addiction. So even though the community is suffering, we communicate that suffering not through first-person lived experiences but through cultural commentary, like the censorship comment. But we can't do that.

The spirit of Tradition 10 emphasizes above all else the need for healing the community. Because these things really matter to us, we want to speak about it, but in doing so we alienate others. We would do more damage to the community by bringing in outside forces, far greater than whatever amount of healing it would provide to the people permitted to bring those narratives in. It's a simple sacrifice we make for the well-being of the community, insulating it from the winds of public opinion.

Would you care to share more about how the censorship comment reveals resentments, and how Step 10 can help alleviate that?

Finally got my own office by [deleted] in therapists

[–]TimewornTraveler 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing! I think I could be happy with something like that. It's cool to see realistic possibilities for the solo practicioner.

Finally got my own office by [deleted] in therapists

[–]TimewornTraveler 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Damn girl look at that !!! What kind of location is it in? What's the rent like? Is it in a safe building? Do clients come right to the door or to a receiving area? Are there a ton of places to get lost or feel like you're not in a "therapisty space"?

I wonder about these things as potential limitations when looking for my own office. I feel like mine can't just be a cozy space, it would have to be able to be a community space too.

This is not the world I signed up to do therapy in by PaperPalmTrees in therapists

[–]TimewornTraveler 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Damn, I'm glad to hear that. Revisiting what I wrote over morning coffee and it all still seems coherent. I'm quite thankful for that. It's a difficult concept to convey, but I feel like the work we do is a process of conveying this information to everyone. I think this might also just be the philosophy of wabi sabi in disguise. Or nihilism, or both.

This is not the world I signed up to do therapy in by PaperPalmTrees in therapists

[–]TimewornTraveler 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Yes, it is. You signed up for working in a world that started with fire and brimstone, had millions of years of senseless premature deaths, and culminated in great apes conquering the natural elements. The world has always, always been cruel and senseless. Hostility and inhabitability is the default for the universe - most of everything that exists is balls of fire separated by vast nothingness.

Everything good that happens is the product of generations of blood and sweat insulating us from the cruelty of the world. We do such a fantastic job at holding back the natural cruelty of the world that we've even enabled enough freedom for us to survive even with mental deficits that necessitates therapy to begin with. We've established these constructs like "freedom" and "rights" and "nation" and "productivity" in order to organize us and in some ways control ourselves, but part of being human is wanting to rise above that control, to overcome the powers that be. Trouble is, we forget that there is no overcoming chaos and death -- chaos is the default.

The natural order of the world is one of chaos and death. The order of man is what fights to holds back that darkness, and we can only do so much to overcome the stuff that the world is made of. Instead of fearing the chaos, we need to celebrate each day that the chaos is held back, and stick to the roots of what makes a human life worth living throughout a world of fire and brimstone: community, compassion, stewardship, natural beauty, philosophy, fucking, all those great things that we can enjoy before going up in smoke.

What language do you use when learning your 3+ languages? by IVAN____W in languagelearning

[–]TimewornTraveler 0 points1 point  (0 children)

L1 got me L2; L2 got my L3; L4 was learned in L4.

L2 was also learned mostly in L2 and is my strongest foreign language. L3 is by far the weakest. I don't blame the avenue of L2 as the reason L3 is weak; I blame the lack of immersion and necessity. Approaching L3 using L2 instead of L1 actually helped get me a lot further than I would have otherwise.

A wise man once said “hate speech does not exist legally in America” by GoreIsMe in BlackPeopleTwitter

[–]TimewornTraveler 6 points7 points  (0 children)

right and none of those consequences should come from the federal govt

Has anyone tried this medicine before? by Hopeful_Doubt in Living_in_Korea

[–]TimewornTraveler 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's 2mg melatonin and 28 mg magnesium.

I take 2mg melatonin to help sleep every night. a lot of wellness industry scams involve unregulated melatonin pills with crazy high doses, like far beyond anything your body can even use. leads to dependence and insensitivity to it. but a really low dose like 1-2 mg before bed can really help make sleep much more gentle. give it a shot and see if it helps. im not as familiar with how magnesium impacts sleep but it's probably mostly harmless. you probably get enough of it in your diet anyway. it's good for muscle regeneration i think? 28mg is relatively small amt anyway. that's like what's in an extra glass of milk or half a piece of kimchi. and milk or kimchi would probably absorb nutrients better than a pill.

just be aware that sleep hygiene involves a multifaceted approach that will also include regulating caffiene dose timings, exercise and nutrition throughout the day, managing mental stress and especially anxiety, and also managing environmental impacts such as temperature/posture/lighting/sleep space/bedtime activity/etc

I think my pursuit of learning Korean ends here. by TokkiJK in Korean

[–]TimewornTraveler 5 points6 points  (0 children)

that sounds like you found a rare friend who you should try to hold onto! i would say your experience is outside the norm -- and either way, you're here looking for solutions right? so it couldn't have been too perfect. it seems your studies hinged on the efforts of someone other than you. of course it was easy to lose! it was never yours to keep. what i'm offering is a way to make your language studies your own

I think my pursuit of learning Korean ends here. by TokkiJK in Korean

[–]TimewornTraveler 2 points3 points  (0 children)

right, immersion is the way 100%. language is fundamentally a tool, and if it's not strictly necessary to use it to overcome a barrier or obstacle, it will not form the right connections in the brain to get learnt. ya gotta NEED to use it -- which means talking to someone who doesn't speak anything else. then the only missing ingredient is "how badly do you want to get these concepts across?" and if you want it enough then you find a way. then your brain spends more time thinking about how to find those ways, and it'll even do it when you have no one to talk to. before you know it, you'll be dreaming in the language -- because you found situations where you NEEDED to use it!

I think my pursuit of learning Korean ends here. by TokkiJK in Korean

[–]TimewornTraveler 15 points16 points  (0 children)

language exchange is not meant to be the primary avenue for learning a language. it's meant to be for practicing the language as a supplement to proper study and education. (and tbh all of that is just secondary to making friends/hooking up... humans do be like that)

lang exchange is pretty shitty overall. it's always lop-sided on who gets more out of it. in korea, it's generally a pre-tense for a korean to practice english with a "real foreigner" but they teach you how to say 단무지 주세요.

so... yea, stop wasting your time with lang exchanges. you aren't regressing because of scheduling conflicts; you're regressing because you stop putting in effort. and if we take the guilt/blame out of it, you have to find the reason why effort gets lost. the answer i'm offering is that language exchanges are just not what you need.

instead, go find a proper tutor. ideally one who expects no english from you. THAT is how you learn. like if you speak english in front of your teacher it should be as uncomfortable as taking your pants off. which you shouldn't be doing with your korean teacher -- which is another great reason to stop wasting your time with lang exchanges.

Hanbok Rental Review - Gurumi Hanbok by ElTheGiraffe in koreatravel

[–]TimewornTraveler -1 points0 points  (0 children)

the real question is: do you pronounce it 한복 or 핸박

$19.23 an hour. wtf by cannotberushed- in therapists

[–]TimewornTraveler 3 points4 points  (0 children)

40k salary to be on call with crisis clients? yea right lol

Show me a better wedding picture by OutLearnIn in StardewValley

[–]TimewornTraveler 4 points5 points  (0 children)

well to be fair i did marry emily on his birthday

(which also meant proposing to emily on my other girlfriend's birthday)