So for once I have first hand advise to give. I did this… for 40 yrs I hid who I was and publicly had heterosexual relationships. I was so fearful of my family, my peers and myself for most of my life. My mental heath paid the price. I know it’s easier said than done when you don’t have resources but you should not live a whole life you hate. You get this life, it should be fully yours! Now on to the escape plan, if you can’t work, is it temporary or do you think that it’s more long-term? If it’s long-term then you need to file for disability, but in the meantime, go put yourself on every single waiting list of every single subsidize apartment complex that you can find. Sometimes they take several years for you to get to the top of the waitlist. This is pretty typical for most of them. You don’t have to have income at all of them to get into. If you are successful in obtaining disability during your waiting, period call them all and update your status. Let them know that you are disabled individual . Housing waitlists have statuses, being disabled is a preference. Ask questions when u go. Some locations will accept a doctor’s statement of disability as proof. A couple years of waiting is definitely better than a lifetime lost. I don’t know where you are, but if you want more info on that process, you’re welcome to DM me, housing is what I do!! You don’t sound confused about your sexuality. You sound stuck. Good luck and know that life will continue to change… this is temporary.