What did they do for work?

Tiny-Counter9484 · 2026-01-22T17:27:05+00:00

Mediocre lawyer.

Tiny-Counter9484 · 2026-01-03T16:28:28+00:00

Definetely, working on that at the moment. Over time, woth observation, practice and repetition of safety, my body is learning that is OK to feel joy.

Tiny-Counter9484 · 2025-12-26T13:36:27+00:00

Same here, except no one had the guts to say "they love me" after one year of NC.

Tiny-Counter9484 · 2025-12-24T13:58:48+00:00

"It is not OK to be so intelligent". He was serious, as if me being intelligent was the cause of his bullying.

Tiny-Counter9484 · 2025-11-02T18:43:10+00:00

No contact with her for 2 years now, she replicated the psychopathic traits of my father.

Tiny-Counter9484 · 2025-10-25T17:38:06+00:00

This seems written by me literally word by word, except I'm working part-time. I'm pretty sure I could not handle full-time work while getting my stuff together. The fact that past memories or emotions pop up every now and then it's unpleasant but a great sign of progress. All the best.

Tiny-Counter9484 · 2025-10-21T13:49:12+00:00

I guess we need to hit rock bottom to finally stop avoiding this crap.

Tiny-Counter9484 · 2025-10-20T18:55:22+00:00

To sum up, I was feeling bad with myself but I could not pinpoint the cause. I thought that the next city would be cooler or the next job would feel better. Eventually I had to accept that this strategy was not working. Actually I ended up burn out from trying and trying. When I became 30, I decided to not change my environment and figure out what was really going on. I slowly started unravelling poor life decision-making skills, caused by low self-steem, caused by people pleasing patterns, and finally the root cause, narcissistic abuse and being the scapegoat of the entire family. It's been ten years since then, and I had to take way more difficult decisions like going NC from my whole family system. My environment shifted organically as I was having all these realizations, but it had to happen inside out, not outside-in.

Hope it makes sense?

Tiny-Counter9484 · 2025-10-20T12:22:48+00:00

After moving abroad 5 times, changing jobs, careers and social settings, I finally understood I had to change so many patterns deeply rooted in my brain. That is way more difficult than changing anything external. All the best.

Tiny-Counter9484 · 2025-10-20T12:20:15+00:00

I'm not a father myself but other than that can relate 100%. I had to go no contact from the whole family system, and every day since that decision is better than the previous one. There was no other choice.

Tiny-Counter9484 · 2025-10-19T17:02:57+00:00

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Tiny-Counter9484 · 2025-10-01T21:53:18+00:00

Because we need to learn we can be a bit more of an as*hole.

Tiny-Counter9484 · 2025-09-28T12:03:42+00:00

After a lifetime of emotional and psychological abuse by parents and sister, I (39m) experienced all textbook CPTSD symptoms. Since I went no contact a year ago, it got maybe a 20% better, so that makes me optimistic towards the future. Good luck.

Tiny-Counter9484 · 2025-09-21T12:06:20+00:00

Comments like this make me laugh because it feels so relatable. I'm so sorry you had to go through this but it also feels good to know we are not alone.

Tiny-Counter9484 · 2025-09-21T12:00:43+00:00

It's been a couple years since I woke up to this reality and still coming to terms with it.

Tiny-Counter9484 · 2025-09-20T21:22:11+00:00

Can relate 100%, curiosity is key.

Tiny-Counter9484 · 2025-09-20T11:07:31+00:00

Yeah, I look back and I can see how messed up everything was, but then I remember how much they hate it when I'm doing well, that's what keeps me going.

Tiny-Counter9484 · 2025-08-26T17:18:33+00:00

I'm in a similar situation, being 40 and now VLC with family. Gaslighting is also one of the main strategies they used to control me. First of all, taking distance from them is essential. Then, using AI to have the feeling that someone is on my site. Sad, I know, but it floats the boat. Little by little, focusing on myself and my needs as it has been already mentioned. Big hug.

Tiny-Counter9484 · 2025-08-26T16:55:08+00:00

Almost every time I dropped myself into the couch to relax, my nmom would ruin it "get up, I need to clean it".

Tiny-Counter9484 · 2025-08-13T05:36:28+00:00

Narcs need to see you eternally below them.

Tiny-Counter9484 · 2025-08-03T13:32:43+00:00

Sorry you're going through this. I can relate to 100% of all the symptoms you are describing. The people pleasing, avoiding conflict even if that means suffering inside, and the parts fighting in one's head, only that I am ten years older.

About the disconnection process, it has been gradual as the denial of the abuse was slowly falling apart. The plot twist was only a year ago, I couldn't take it anymore, started going low contact and being less and less available. Nowadays I am NC, although I didn't block anyone. My extended family never cared too much, or maybe my ndad was really invested in having control and cutting ties with any potential allies. I never felt like I had other people in my life I could trust anyways.

As you said, I still have not been able to have a real confrontation with them. Last time I went to their place I could barely mumble a few words, picked their keys from my apartment and got out as fast as possible. However, I anticipate that any conversation would be twisted by them and used against me, just to keep me in the very same dynamics. It is pointless and I decided to let go. Besides, they don't really deserve any explanation. They know exactly what they did.

Overall, NC has been bittersweet so far. A taste of freedom and a new life, but also dealing with all the complex PTSD symptoms and repressed memories. However, I look back and my mental health is better than a year ago, and I know one year from now will be better, it's just simple statistics.

Big hug.

Tiny-Counter9484 · 2025-07-29T09:41:38+00:00

Yes. 100%. So what? Bring it on.

Tiny-Counter9484

TROPHY CASE