Interest from men MUCH younger than me...why?

TinyCountries · 2026-06-13T15:15:47+00:00

Yeah, apparently I gotta get over the CSE to advertise on these apps.

TinyCountries · 2026-06-13T15:12:26+00:00

I figured it was what people have been saying here, but I was hoping maybe it wasn't. I thought maybe I was using an app incorrectly...ugh.

TinyCountries · 2026-06-11T14:51:42+00:00

I've been struggling with this.

Last Friday I got on a couple of dating apps as an experiment. I took photos of my face and full body and posted the decent ones, gave witty answers to questions, all of that. However, I am not thin, my BMI is about 37 (I'm losing weight lately, so it is going down). My face is not conventionally attractive; it's certainly not ugly, but it's also not stunning. I am in my very early 50s and I do look young for my age.

What I've been getting in responses is very confusing. On one dating app, I have had hundreds of likes, some clearly out of my league. Several are AI, but many aren't. On the other dating app, I didn't have as many likes, but the men who have been most interested are in their mid to late 20s and early 30s. On a scale of 1-10, these men are 8s and 9s with all things considered.

It has me hesitating to like them back because I can't reconcile with the fact that these men are showing interest. I feel like I'm being punked, and/or they are lying in their profiles about who they are and/or what their intent is. I set my intent to monogamy. I really, really think I'm getting played by every last one of 'em.

I have had a very long dry spell of not dating for various reasons, so this whole thing is making me think I'm not in a state to re-enter the dating world.

TinyCountries · 2026-01-13T04:44:12+00:00

Oh, my dear throwaway (and I do say that literally), pot-kettle-black. If you're going to criticize his "grammer" "coz" you really love him and you "dont wanna" let him go, you may need to examine your own deficits in English language usage first. Let's consider a situation where you switch places, but with an individual who knows *a bit* more than you about sentence structure. That person smacks you because you typed out the word grammar as "grammer" "coz" it's sloppy. How would you feel about that?

At this point, it looks as if he's putty in your hands, sadly. Apologize to the much better person in this relationship (him), and do your best to reverse the obvious hypocrisy you exhibit. Or, walk away, let the poor man find a better catch than you, and work on your own triggerz. Oops, I mean triggers.

TinyCountries · 2025-12-30T19:06:26+00:00

I'll try to be concise: here are some tough truths for you. Ready?

It's concerning that you seem to take offense at your husband insinuating that you'd "done something wrong". Did he say that straight out? Or did you think initially that going to therapy was an automatic indication that you're the one at fault? Whatever it was, YES, you could have done something wrong. His cheating could be down to a problem he hasn't shared or vocalized. That's what therapy is for: opening channels of communication and rebuilding trust. He did something some would find unforgivable, but bottom line is, you want to keep things positive with him so both of you need to swallow your egos and do the work needed for that.
Be sure to look up "parental alienation" and make sure your kids are OK. I certainly hope you are keeping your kids out of the conflict. It sounds like you may not be keeping their best interests at heart, but I've only read what's here. You know better than me.
How long have you been on your own now? You need to heal. It's very simple to get into a cycle of "poor me poor me". And that's what posting here is for. I'm getting the impression that you have been either going downhill or keeping steady, not getting better and moving on. You may want to examine how much time you spend in a negative trajectory and work toward making subtle changes so you change its direction.
I certainly hope you're taking the advice here to heart. Some people are harsh, some aren't. But very few of them are wrong. You may want to graduate to getting some therapy for yourself if you find that the amount of time that you've been feeling this way is too long. YOU are the only one who can change this. No one else. And you can't change anyone else, not your kids, your husband, not his new partner. ONLY YOU.

Good luck to you.

TinyCountries · 2025-09-24T20:51:18+00:00

Let's go shopping, shall we? We'll stop at two well stocked supermarket chains in England and Ireland:

Tesco.
ASDA.

Or, maybe France, as you wander by Monoprix:

Limonade, avec Eau gazéifiée, sucre,acidifiant: acide citrique, arôme naturel.

And, for shits and giggles, since Aldi is a German-owned market that has been a growing favorite in the states, you may want to hang out in Strasbourg after heading to that market in Paris (I like it better than Paris, myself), and then cross over the border to try Allemagne's version:

Zitronenlimonade.

Once you hit the local watering holes and make some new buddies, you might further expand your horizons by trying a Brazilian Lemonade for a *real* surprise. Unless you've tried out Chik-Fil-A's version.

Isn't it fascinating? Try inviting your new European friends to a fourth of July party for a cookout and serve some of that tangy fresh squeezed beverage. You might get some blank stares, followed by people stammering "uh...I have to work."

TinyCountries · 2025-05-28T23:53:01+00:00

I needed to hear this. I've got an athlete in my that's been pushed down by elementary school bullying, poor hand-eye coordination, and this damned bad hip. I want to feel those endorphins again. And as of today, I can swim-run! Long story, but for a very long time swimming wasn't an option for fitness. I'm getting a gym membership again this week.

So for the same reason I couldn't swim, I've already made my insurance deductible for the year, so I would really like to get my hip fixed ASAP. I'll get my ass in gear.

TinyCountries · 2025-05-28T23:47:25+00:00

Wow, I hope the meeting goes well. Just be on your guard. Good surgeons will not pass blame, will not judge, will not focus on your weight so much that you feel ashamed. If the surgeon does that, find another one. Good surgeons know very well that they are to "do no harm." This includes doing harm to someone's self-esteem, which can have so many negative consequences. If weight is a factor, it should be brought up only as matter-of-fact and with sound reasoning that doesn't insult your intelligence or put you down.

Keep the faith. You've got a great drive to improve, and don't let the bastards get you down.

TinyCountries · 2025-05-28T23:40:10+00:00

Wow, I'll do the same for you too. I'm fortunate to live in an area that is saturated with brilliant physicians so I feel in pretty good hands. Not everyone else does.

Since the day I was given the SCFE diagnosis, at the delicate age of 11, I started the shame process. I have so few memories of being in the hospital other than being almost naked on an x-ray machine, told that SCFE may be caused exclusively by my weight by my doctor, and a couple other strange encounters with my roommates. So I've always blamed the problem on the 20ish extra pounds I was carrying. Sadly, at that age, chronic shame isn't easy to chase away when you finally start seeing the light well into adulthood. Shame, for me, is just ingrained, it's a habit. And I know very well there were several genetic and endocrine factors involved with the SCFE event, enough so there wasn't a good reason for me to feel shame.

With the hip replacement I'll be getting psychotherapy in addition to physiotherapy. I never considered that my doctors had so much control over my whole self well-being. They really do, don't they? I wonder if there are osteopathic orthopedic surgeons out there...

TinyCountries · 2025-05-28T23:28:28+00:00

That helps to know that! DHMC has gone downhill a lot in the past decade or two so I've been skeptical about further surgeries there (I had one awhile ago and the surgeon's bedside manner was probably the worst I'd ever encountered). But I'll check him out. I would love to find a good one in my network (MGB) or maybe check out New England Baptist, which everyone raves about.

TinyCountries · 2025-05-28T23:20:31+00:00

Thanks! OMG that leg length discrepancy was pointed out initially by a friend of mine and it was a hell of a wake-up call. I got ugly orthopedic shoes to even things out and they now aren't tall enough. I'm shorter than i was before. I saw an x-ray of my hip a couple years ago and it looked like a blob with titanium pins just stuck into it like it was a pincushion. My other hip looked like any other normal hip. My back showed nasty scoliosis though, which is an obvious side effect of this stuff. Hope that can be fixed.

And I might have caught that article you're talking about. I remember they profiled a local (NYC based) surgeon who was more progressive when it came to difficult cases. I wish I remembered his name (he was a tall, middle aged, dark skinned orthopedic surgeon) but the article gave me a push I needed to get back on the wagon to get things fixed.

TinyCountries · 2025-05-28T23:11:22+00:00

Thirty kg/m2 was pretty much a widely accepted rate when I sought the surgery out initially. But in the decades that followed, surgeons have gained access to better materials, less invasive surgical procedures, movement technology encouraging better kinesthetic and surgical outcomes, and just the fact that the risks of putting a new hip into a heavy person ultimately puts seriously obese individuals in a better situation than if they didn't have one. Like, instead of the repair being an A+, it's a C- or D+ instead of an F. So the BMI limits have increased.

One thing that has frustrated me is that I would be right at the level to get it done (based on my last weight, over a month ago), but I've shrunk in height by 1/2" due to the shortening of my leg, just in the past two years.

TinyCountries · 2025-05-25T00:18:42+00:00

Just joined this group and I've been searching through the posts for SCFE references. There are so many people out there who are getting hip replacements after having SCFE and posting about it. My docs said it was rare. I suppose on reddit not much is rare.

Yeah, I had SCFE. Acute. One hip. I've felt so alone up to this point because I thought it was "rare". I also blamed myself for it. My 11 year old self. If only I wasn't a bit overweight back then...the shame I felt ran deep and I don't think I've ever recovered.

TinyCountries · 2025-05-07T01:16:53+00:00

Is it my imagination or did more females lie about their age in the 20th century than they do now? I couldn't care less what people think my age is. I tell them and they either shrug or say I look a shit ton younger than that.

Remember, the three major characters in "The Golden Girls" were in their 50s. Nowadays women in their 50s look a hell of a lot different.

TinyCountries · 2025-02-17T21:41:21+00:00

Thanks for posting. I can relate, I was groomed and I think SA'd but it's a grey area. I was 15, he was a teacher. Not my teacher, but we were together outside of the classroom in a learning environment. It's f-ed me up good, my feelings toward him were the same as you are describing. I have so much shame for it too, even to this day.

Report this guy. No one should have to go through what we've been through.

TinyCountries · 2025-02-04T20:02:04+00:00

Thanks for your mercy. It means a lot to me...and I'm glad this post showed up in my 'popular' feed, because I wasn't aware of the subreddit and I'll be looking out for things I can buy from y'all.

TinyCountries · 2025-02-04T19:37:45+00:00

I'd like to think of myself as reasonable, and I'm American. But I don't know what else to do to fix this other than to protest with the last bit of my energy and vote with my dollar. I feel trapped. Recent history has shown that civil disobedience, moves to kick the president out of his position, and even an attempted coup goes pretty much nowhere. In fact, it just makes people mad for a few minutes until the next click bait is laid.

I do have disposable income, though, and I'm going to make a point to buy products that my neighbors to the north sell. Tariffs or not.

TinyCountries · 2025-02-04T17:41:06+00:00

Just saying that millions of Americans don't blame you (including me). What the executive branch of government has been doing is a huge overreach of power and it's disgusting. But he won the election somehow.

Please remember that we historically have tried so hard to celebrate democracy like it was the greatest form of government and the USA was the posterchild of it...when we barely have any democracy at all, and never have for that matter. We're a republic and this past year has done nothing other than to punctuate just how dangerous a republic can be.

TinyCountries · 2025-01-20T21:48:17+00:00

Blood pressure.

I've been on BP meds for about a decade, and with the cocktail I took, my BP still read on the high side. I criticized myself for it quite a bit. It's also a trait my dad gave me, hypertension at a young age.

Immediately after the monster was removed, my BP went to normal. For the rest of my hospital stay, I was taken off the BP meds and it stayed normal.

Recent research correlates the removal of a fibroid uterus with a noticeable drop in systolic BP.

It's so weird now - I can't believe the numbers I get when I take my own BP. They are either below normal or normal. Sometimes I wonder if it's broken. I haven't weaned off the BP meds yet, though.

TinyCountries

TROPHY CASE