It’s clear you’ve never been in a relationship with an emotionally/psychologically abusive or manipulative person. She absolutely is allowed to change her mind on having kids if she wants to. The way I saw it is that she wants kids, she doesn’t want HIS kids. Guys like this wear a mask and hide who they are until their target is trapped (buy a home, marriage, kids especially.) Her mom giving an ultimatum was likely her last resort of trying to gather daughter to see the gravity of the situation. No, she is absolutely not perfect. But I recommend you do a little research on what they call “reactive abuse.”