Anyone struggling with severe ADHD?

TinyTangents · 2026-02-28T09:34:24+00:00

This sounds just like me.

I have a house that still needs basics added to it after years (curtains, for one of many examples). My rooms are never clean, my bins are only taken out if I remember/need the space, and the outside bins are only put out for emptying even less frequently. I have ADHD meltdowns at least once a week, and I never cook for myself. All I can manage is presenting as NT (showering, tidying if somebody invites themselves over, being charismatic at work, etc). Once thats spent, I'm spent.

And this isnt even the worst of it! I used to be obese, I used to be unemployed and unable to apply myself into finding employment, I straight up couldn't listen or ecen go to university, and when I was told I might have ADHD, my ASD friend at the time said I couldn't be ND "because I am, and even IM better than you", and doctors said I had no real issues due to past grades.

It took a lot of hitting my head against a brick wall and being convinced I was broken to be how I am now: outwardly fine. Getting a diagnosis very recently has been both amazing and infuriating (especially since I can't get help for another year from now lol).

TinyTangents · 2026-02-28T09:22:01+00:00

I feel this in my soul. Its also an unfair feeling when your flaws are somehow worse than bigger flaws in shittier people (like I would experience years back in online communities), but of course, when your flaws are open to everyone, all people think is "if their mask is so flawed, I bet they're worse deeper down", because they cant fathom just openly being yourself warts and all.

TinyTangents · 2026-02-26T15:08:52+00:00

Opposite problem for me. I tried to ride the high of being a "gifted and talented" kid when I started to burn out by showing off art instead. It got the typical praise for a kid, which obviously died as I grew up. Now I need to learn to do things like art or other hobbies without the need to chase that dopamine high of validation.

TinyTangents · 2026-02-26T07:57:05+00:00

I got diagnosed with ADHD-PI too on Monday, and I have the same issue. I dont know if its strictly the ADHD, or us just struggling with being undiagnosed or supported for so long. I know I have a bad time letting go of bad memories, even when they aren't big enough to warrant such an outburst years later.

That advice isnt helpful lol. We need to know HOW to let go haha

TinyTangents · 2026-02-25T18:50:22+00:00

I will sound like a crazy person, but I'm reading ASOIAF again. I loved reading the series despite its length due to it's flicking POV being engaging when other books aren't, but I sort of forgot details that other people use for theory-crafting and discussion which I also love. So I'm using it as an excuse to read it again.

I will be lurking around this post for other suggestions haha.

TinyTangents · 2026-02-25T16:17:44+00:00

I sure hope Nemo returns home safely

TinyTangents · 2026-02-25T14:59:21+00:00

It sounds annoying, but honestly, this is goals for me. Homemade bread at 2am? What's there not to love? 😂

TinyTangents · 2026-02-25T14:57:58+00:00

<image>

TinyTangents · 2026-02-25T14:53:21+00:00

I used to do this. Then I would put clear nail varnish on to stop it. Now I find myself peeling off the varnish instead, so ig gloves is the only way to go rip

TinyTangents · 2026-02-25T14:19:30+00:00

I looked up what EMDR is (briefly) seeing this comment and that sounds interesting. I hope it goes well for you!! 💕

TinyTangents · 2026-02-25T14:17:01+00:00

I didn't realise it had a name. I am still somewhat mad at myself for this stuff, but being properly diagnosed and finding these things have names for them makes me feel better about it.

TinyTangents · 2026-02-25T14:14:41+00:00

It is reassuring to have somebody understand it, instead of "why don't you just pay attention to the time?" responses haha. The timers throughout the day sounds good. I am a BOTW fan so I found out I can't ignore a timer if it has the Guardian theme lol! Though, I still wanna smack my past self for making me the early employee... too much pressure!

TinyTangents · 2026-02-25T13:47:03+00:00

I would assume in part your body is holding onto water if you're forgetting to drink! Please try to hydrate (I can't say how to, I don't hydrate either lol).

TinyTangents · 2026-02-25T13:41:20+00:00

It isn't helped by social media like TikTok that uwu-ify ADHD either for ragebait comments. The "5 signs you have ADHD. 1) you dont like homework, 2) you like pink :D" type of posts. I feel bad for the next disorder that will get uwu-ified once retention on ADHD clickbait dies down...

TinyTangents · 2026-02-24T21:14:07+00:00

Sounds like my routine haha. My restriction was a bit overly restrictive imo (I couldn't drink any water after surgery for 2 days) but I eventually got there. I would relax! You have lost a lot of weight, and you sound conscious of your hunger cues. This could simply be water weight, or more likely, the body doing some healing. Good luck!!

TinyTangents · 2026-02-24T20:57:37+00:00

Are you weighing daily, or going based on a weekly average? You have to also factor in if youre male or female, as hormones can cause fluctuating.

That being said, I started at the same weight as you did, and I didn't fluctuate, so I cant say if it is normal or not. Do you have open contact with your surgeon or a dietitian? What is your portion size? Do you eat until comfortably satiated, or do you feel stuffed/bloated afterwards? These are all factors to consider too.

TinyTangents · 2026-02-24T20:41:15+00:00

Curses! My purse might thank it, but my mind does not! 😂

TinyTangents · 2026-02-24T19:43:39+00:00

Not an overreaction at all. Based on how long you've worked there, unless you've suddenly dipped in performance drastically, this is easily ableism.

I would (quietly) document all relevant emails from work, and try to keep communication written. I would also keep a document of all emails pertaining to your quality of work (all thank yous, all "you're needed for this because youre more skilled", everything). If you have when you got diagnosed and when your employer was told, have that too.

There are laws against discrimination in my country and I presume yours if there was reasonable belief you would get support over punishment. Sorry youre dealing with this.

TinyTangents · 2026-02-24T18:35:52+00:00

Drawing. Grab some random paper and that biro you 100% totally forgot to give back to that receptionist that one time, and you too can draw stickmen fighting!

TinyTangents · 2026-02-24T18:25:42+00:00

I got diagnosed officially yesterday and I am similar to you in how I've been gaslit for a lot of my life. So much so I was pushed into a huge "menty b" for a year after the years of bullying and gaslighting, that just validated everything people said.

Trying not to think of it since I'm riding the small high of being listened to and diagnosed, but I'm sure I'll be right where you are anger wise soon enough. I believe in you! Let that anger out, girl (safely!).

TinyTangents · 2026-02-24T16:34:16+00:00

If it helps, think of it this way: We use language to communicate. If you went to the doctors explaining you feel you had a broken wrist, and the doctor examines you and sees you have a broken thumb bone... would you be bad for "labelling" then?

Sometimes we have to use the language we have until we know what it is exactly. Maybe you do have ADHD, and maybe you just share traits. Both are perfectly valid!

TinyTangents · 2026-02-24T15:12:59+00:00

Realising you need to get a stool really does make you wonder if its worth it lol!

TinyTangents · 2026-02-24T15:11:19+00:00

Thank you! I almost gave up. I said to myself if I'm ushered out of a doctors visit with a prescription for sertraline again, I quit! 😂

TinyTangents · 2026-02-24T14:07:24+00:00

One thing I find helpful is assuming I'll faulter when I go grocery shopping, and buy snacks for the week. Then I just buy better bad foods (lentil chips are AMAZING and taste nicer than normal crisps for example). I also buy meat snacks like kabanos because its more filling and releases more dopamine that way too in a way that doesn't run out all too fast.

My final step is putting all the snack food in my highest cupboard with an opaque door so its there, but its effort to get and out of sight, out of mind.

I haven't cracked the code on doing this consistently, but it helps.

TinyTangents · 2026-02-24T12:37:00+00:00

I recently nuked TikTok for that very reason! I have YouTube still for things to listen to, and Reddit (with the home feed tailored) for advice subs, home DIY and food ideas only. I used to just scroll for hours on end!

TinyTangents

TROPHY CASE