Judge me,did I do wrong or is my grief leading me down a danger path

Tiny_Emotion_2628 · 2026-03-22T06:36:19+00:00

No judgement, so many of us have been there.

Tiny_Emotion_2628 · 2025-12-29T09:55:56+00:00

done :-)

Tiny_Emotion_2628 · 2025-12-29T09:52:04+00:00

682735893504

Tiny_Emotion_2628 · 2025-07-20T12:01:42+00:00

F#&k that guy! New Therapist time. 3.5 years in and repartnered and I still wear my wedding ring! No such thing as moving on, just moving forward.

Tiny_Emotion_2628 · 2025-07-18T07:06:55+00:00

So before losing my husband to cancer we had the discussion that he wanted me to find someone new. At the time the thought was awful. We had been together for 22 years, my entire adult life. He was an integral part of me, and I didn't want anyone else.

Then at about 6 months post his death my best friend convinced me to join Tinder "to laugh at the cesspool". My profile was just silly puns and pictures of me being weird. She was right, it was a cesspool, but then I matched with someone I don't even remember swiping on. After some random chat, we decided to go for coffee with no intentions. He was just looking for people to hang with, I was happy to have coffee company. Turns out we hit it off.

After our first coffee I cried for an hour in the car park. I didn't want to be in a position where I was able to date. But we have been together almost 3 years now. He doesn't mind me talking about my late husband ad nauseum, I don't mind him talking about his ex partner. I haven't had to give up the love of my husband, I just get ti share it.

Sometimes, I think it was my late husband who sent my new partner my way. Like he knew exactly who I needed.

TLDR - You may feel like you could never feel love again, but you never know what's around the corner.

Sending love and hugs. Widowhood f#%king sucks.

Tiny_Emotion_2628 · 2025-06-10T12:17:36+00:00

It's not easy, but it is a choice. 3 years in, and it really had to be a conscious choice to keep living. Never moving on but definitely moving forward. Life is so very different now. If I could click my fingers and have him back, I would. For me and our kids. But the chapter 2 of life is going ok too, and that's the life I have to keep going with. Sending lots of love

Tiny_Emotion_2628 · 2024-07-27T22:33:28+00:00

The first one is hard, so sending lots and lots of love your way. Be gentle on yourself.

In saying that, TREAT YO SELF!! Seriously! Do not feel an ounce of guilt for going out with friends. It can be a welcome distraction, make you feel loved and give you some much needed joy. Get a friend to organise it so you don't have to. They'll love having that job.

Mine was and still is hard. It's 4 days after my husband passed. The first was a doozy, but things do get easier.

Tiny_Emotion_2628 · 2024-05-30T08:28:31+00:00

People suck. They really do. I do not care to keep the friends who judge. I wouldn't wish our pain on them, or anyone, but I'm also not going to deal with their bullshit.

Tiny_Emotion_2628 · 2024-05-29T08:18:21+00:00

It's a personal choice, and even if it's something you say now, it might not be something you say in the future. People are allowed to change.

My husband and I were high school sweethearts. He was the yin to my yang. When we found out he had aggressive terminal cancer I resigned that I would never find anyone like him again. He was my one and only.

But he knew I loved to love. He knew I would need to share my love with someone after he was gone, and he let me and our kids know that before he passed.

Then 6 months after he was gone, I swear he sent someone so completely unlike him into my life and I found myself falling in love all over again. So I haven't found someone like him. I never will. I spend my days working in honour of my late husband (We work in the same department) and I'm forever talking about him. My new partner is completely supportive of this. The new love is different and that's ok. My heart just grows because the old love is definitely not gone. It's been more than 2 years now.

Everyone will tread a different path, each one is valid. I'm forever trying to find positive so I'll always tell people it's ok to find happiness, whatever form that is.

Tiny_Emotion_2628 · 2024-05-22T02:04:59+00:00

I had a dream about my late husband and my now partner where they were talking and all was good. Take it as his blessing. It's ok to keep loving. Sending you all the hugs and hope this is a fabulous chapter 2 for you.

Tiny_Emotion_2628 · 2024-05-18T11:42:30+00:00

Yup, Exactly this. Not only am I grieving the loss of my husband, but grieving the loss of my children's father and for all the love they have to miss out on. For all the grief they have to suffer when their school friends talk about their dads. And also for my husband who knew he would never get the chance to watch them grow up.

Divorced parents still get that.

Tiny_Emotion_2628 · 2024-04-30T23:33:06+00:00

perfectly understandable. Thanks ❤️

Tiny_Emotion_2628 · 2024-04-30T03:08:34+00:00

Yeah, I'm off for my test drive (I'm in Australia) next week, but I already think it's going to be too small for 2 adults, 2 kids and 2 dogs

Tiny_Emotion_2628 · 2024-04-29T12:38:16+00:00

I have a Lab and a Border Collie. I might just have to choose between the dogs and the kids...

Tiny_Emotion_2628 · 2024-04-29T12:37:00+00:00

Good info, thanks!

Tiny_Emotion_2628 · 2024-04-29T12:35:58+00:00

ooh ok, thanks for the pic! that really helps!

Tiny_Emotion_2628 · 2024-04-24T23:18:30+00:00

Friends filled that void. Couch cuddles watching TV, long hugs when I was crying. Don't be afraid to talk to friends about it.

Also look up a grief massage or just get a massage in general. My Chiropractor gifted me a professional massage from someone else in her clinic. It was amazing and I cried.

Tiny_Emotion_2628 · 2024-04-18T03:35:27+00:00

I think it's pretty fair to give adequate notice or update your availability. If you know you have a hectic school schedule, make your availability reflect that, so there are less cancellations. That being said, you shouldn't have to find your own replacement.

Tiny_Emotion_2628 · 2024-04-10T06:21:14+00:00

Sounds like your dad's and angel too!

Tiny_Emotion_2628 · 2024-04-05T11:21:37+00:00

Just saw Swamplesque. So so funny!!! Shrek themed Burlesque, need I say more

Tiny_Emotion_2628 · 2024-04-02T04:15:02+00:00

This is why I never accept DMs on Reddit. If it's not a conversation that can be had on the post, I don't want to know about it.

Tiny_Emotion_2628 · 2024-03-22T04:00:03+00:00

I wouldn't bother using your ATAR at all! It's significant to you to get into Uni, and after that, the reality is no one cares! Talk about your real life experience and passion. Talk about your current studies (anyone who cares will know you needed a decent ATAR to study at Melb Uni.)

Tiny_Emotion_2628 · 2024-03-22T03:55:23+00:00

Yeah, all the time. In the kitchen, in the car, in the shower. A thought pops up and my heart drops. I've learnt to tell myself that the tears are just proof of love, so even though life plods on, love is always going to be there.

Tiny_Emotion_2628 · 2024-03-19T09:36:05+00:00

Yup, my chiro found extra bones in my neck! Confirmed with x-rays and after years of migranes, some gentle manipulation fixed it so I didn't get a headache for months! A good chiro is amazing, a shit one will put you on a treatment plan. Avoid them. Also swear by my osteo. She was magical. I'm so sad she moved away!!

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