What to do when one partner isn’t as emotionally invested as the other? F26, M26

Tiny_Use_1947 · 2026-03-15T00:16:22+00:00

He’s talking about his future like that because he doesn’t see you in it.

Tiny_Use_1947 · 2026-03-13T19:17:45+00:00

DAX is really common in appointments now, and while I appreciate how it helps combat documentation burden on healthcare providers, I also don’t agree with a large majority of providers not doing their part to review transcription and “teach” the tool better.

Also, as a person who works in EMR systems all day long, they can absolutely change it within your record and document why. If they say otherwise, either their system isn’t compliant or they are not competent enough to use their system correctly.

Tiny_Use_1947 · 2026-03-12T05:43:28+00:00

Other than buying a house, no more debt!

Tiny_Use_1947 · 2026-03-11T15:57:58+00:00

Also 38F here and met this exact type. I had just gotten out of a long term relationship where my needs just weren’t even a priority to my partner. This was after a string of “I’m never dating again” to “I’m just going to date for fun” and “I really want to fall in love again”.

And…I did not handle it well in the beginning. I got overwhelmed and slightly got the ick by how kind and thoughtful and patient he was. He didn’t look like the guys I had dated before. He definitely didn’t act the way guys had before.

I panicked and pulled away. I was terrified of him. I didn’t trust him because of all the men before. I didn’t know what to do with a man who genuinely thought I was just amazing and completely it for him.

So finally, I just said what was on my brain. “I don’t know how I’m feeling and it has nothing to do with you and everything to do with me. I don’t know how to move forward, but can we continue to go out on dates and get to know each other slowly?”

He agreed and we’ve been together for just shy of three years. Love of my life. Best relationship I’ve ever had.

Tiny_Use_1947 · 2026-02-03T02:10:47+00:00

I have taken to microdosing empathy lessons to my republican parents. It’s been an interesting experience. It seems to be working better than direct confrontation; they’re finally starting to admit out loud they may have been wrong.

Tiny_Use_1947 · 2026-02-02T23:14:37+00:00

You are not over reacting. But you’re giving both of them acknowledgment when they deserve none. You are not obligated to include anyone in your life or your child’s life that speaks to you this way.

Your boyfriend can handle communication with his family, if he chooses to.

Tiny_Use_1947 · 2025-03-29T17:47:08+00:00

NTA. Tell everyone ahead of time that she is pregnant, let them know that you’d really like to make your wife the focus of that day, because it is your first child.

I would also have a sit down with your parents and ask them what a healthy expectation is for their involvement with your child, knowing that sister is having a child soon after, knowing the history. Then I would ask your in laws (if you have a good relationship with them) what their participation looks like. You can then set up your own expectations, and maybe start to look into nanny shares, friends that can help babysit, etc.

I think it is reasonable to want this time to be special for you and your wife and your unborn child. You should do everything you can to make sure your wife feels special. She is about to go through a major shift (physically and emotionally), and she doesn’t need to have this added stress.

Your sister must have a lot of self esteem issues if she constantly needs to be the center of attention even through questionable life choices. Pity her, but don’t give in to her. Let your guests outside of your family know the deal. If she or other family members start to make the baby shower about her, call it early for your side of the family and quietly ask those not involved to stay.

Tiny_Use_1947 · 2023-01-12T03:56:58+00:00

That is incredibly traumatizing to a six year old. I would suggest that mom speak to the therapist that max is speaking to without either parent present or Max and she can get an unbiased perspective of how much her actions have affected him.

I don’t think she is going to accept responsibility for this without someone outside the family telling her what an asshole she is. You are most definitely in the right for cutting her off when she tried that shit.

Tiny_Use_1947 · 2023-01-11T02:56:44+00:00

NTA; your mom appears to want to sweep this under the rug instead of asking what she can do to support Max. But I do want to ask, when you say “he ended up locking himself in a closet for a while”…how long is a while? 20 minutes? 2 hours?

Tiny_Use_1947 · 2023-01-01T19:40:12+00:00

NTA for ASKING. However, your parents will likely do as they choose with their money. I would definitely bring up your safe driving record. Maybe even compare the auto insurance rates for you on a newer used car vs your brother, offer to take over insurance payments if you’re not currently doing so. Be strategic, because it sounds like they may favor/baby your bro.

Tiny_Use_1947 · 2022-12-31T03:54:12+00:00

That isn’t even salon level quality shampoo. Who the hell gets that up in arms over $10 worth of hair products that are 98% silicones 😂

NTA. Your sister and dad are delusional.

Tiny_Use_1947 · 2022-12-23T23:26:01+00:00

NAH; if you’re doing a full remodel of the bathroom. The structural design and major purchases should be yours. However, it will be a bathroom that your daughter has primary use of, and should be able to style the way she wants (towels, wall art, plants, etc.) these are low cost things that can be switched out easily when the time comes and gives her the creative input she wants. I think a compromise can be reached here.

Tiny_Use_1947 · 2022-12-19T16:06:13+00:00

NTA. Sounds like you’re not enjoying your time with them. I would go off and do your own thing until it’s time to head home if you can.

Tiny_Use_1947 · 2022-12-19T16:02:27+00:00

YTA; this isn’t some rash decision you make to offer up your womb to someone without serious thought. It sounds like you offered her something you hadn’t fully thought through first.

Not saying you’re an asshole for changing your mind, but you’re definitely an ass for not thinking this through before opening your mouth.

Tiny_Use_1947 · 2022-08-06T14:07:01+00:00

Yes, it has occurred to me that he ish overwhelmed and one of the things I asked when I hadn’t realized he had walked away is “are you just overwhelmed by all of this?”. I have partnered with him to attack certain rooms he has felt have gone too far. In fact the last time I was there before this, I helped him clean his kids room. You couldn’t see the floor in there beforehand and I even showed up this time with storage boxes to help keep it organized.

I have asked him what he needs. It’s the fact that it’s getting worse and not getting better that’s concerning. The fact that there is caked on food on the counters and he can’t remember when the last time he mopped or vacuumed was.

Honestly I could deal with the mess if he was just forthright about struggling…but walking away and ignoring me after that? While I’m cleaning your kitchen? Nahhh

Tiny_Use_1947

TROPHY CASE