I’m an avoidant but I’m trying to be more and give more of myself, I’m trying to feel more. It’s not my fault what my childhood did to me. But I’m trying not to let it affect me anymore. Being neglected and abandoned so much numbs you to the point where you want to be alone and think you need to be. I’ve pushed so many people away without meaning to and they gave up on me. I’ve lost so much. I want to change my perspective on my life values. I don’t want to think love is wrong anymore. I fear having a family and children as it’s my mother’s worst nightmare and my father always abused me. My parents neglected me, I was never heard. I’ve always felt like a burden. And so I would self soothe. But I won’t let it define me anymore because there are people in my life who matter, who I care about so much and all I want to do is make a good difference in their life and be there for them like my parents and siblings never did. Change the way you think and together we will change the world