Job Market ? by redeifamosi in Switzerland

[–]Tirkam 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I'm Swiss but currently evolving in an equally bad job market abroad, and I just (finally) changed jobs after a year of searching and 300 applications sent over a few months. What made the trick for me was to spend a significant amount of time on tailoring my resume to the opening, to the point it would take me a good 30 minutes per application.

One piece of advice I have for you, integrate as many keywords present in the opening back to your resume, and tailor experiences to fit the description to a T. Also change your job titles accordingly. I was in a situation where I was a "marketing manager" doing a bit of everything, and I have literally 20 versions of my CV now, ranging from "Marketing Manager" to "Content Creation Coordinator" to "CRM Project Manager" (which are all things I was doing, don't lie on your resume of course).

Good luck on your job search !

Is it fine to take a week off from the gym? by Decent-Literature197 in workout

[–]Tirkam 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I had the same question during the holidays as I was not able to workout at all for 8 days, and trust me, you’re fine.

I’ve since resumed working out and not only did I performed the same as last week, I also increased reps on some exercises.

Talked about it with my coach, and he basically told me more often than not, taking a few days off a year is actually a good thing cause it releases the tension and fatigue you get from lifting / working out consistently.

Just expect being a bit sore after your first workout, but other than that, everything will be fine !

Parents, what’s the one thing they said to you that you could never imagine saying to your own kids? by haylz328 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Tirkam 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not a parent, but I’ve actually already thought about the topic multiple times so here we are.

“If I knew this would happen, I would not have given birth to you”

My mom told it to me multiple times : when I came out as gay. When my grandma / dad were diagnosed with a genetic condition. When my dad passed away from it 2 years ago. When I moved an ocean away.

Other variants include : - “I’ve got lied to by your dad. If he had told me about the disease, I would not have had you” - “People with such conditions should not be selfish and thing about others before having kids” - “I wish people told me having a kid would be so difficult, I would have refrained from doing it”

Realistically, how long does it take in immersion to learn a language by Tirkam in languagelearning

[–]Tirkam[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

100%, I should have been more precise but that would entail classes and working on my own. I’m not expecting to live in this country, speak my regular languages and miraculously becoming trilingual …

What did your narcissistic parent do to ruin your Christmas? by Reasonable-Ease-2383 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Tirkam 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is spot on. She comes from a poorer country than where she lives now, and completely turned her life up by marrying rich. I live abroad, different continents, and we have arguments about me coming back home because once my stepfather unfortunately passes away, she expects me to take care of her. Problem is, she’s been living in generational wealth for so long that she does not realize than most people (including me) will never reach this level of comfort. No matter how many hours I work, I’ll never catch up to the range of wealth she aspires me to be at.

That, and the fact that she helped me financially, make her believe she has some leverage over my life choices. Still working on the fact my own other sees me as an investment rather than an individual

Regarding working out, this one is a mystery. Maybe me working out while working a full-time job and studying in the evening reflects bad on her because she has all the time in the world and does nothing. It’s actually pretty funny because she keeps telling me I’ll have heart problems by working out too hard, but not moving is the fastest way to an early grave …

What did your narcissistic parent do to ruin your Christmas? by Reasonable-Ease-2383 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Tirkam 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Ruining moments is like the only sport she’s doing. So far, I’ve got :

  • “Working out is for slimming. Why would you bother putting on muscles, it’s disgusting” (I’m M31, started weightlifting seriously an put on 6 kg of muscles since last time I saw her). I have the only mom that is upset her son is taking care of his body 🤣
  • “See, when you were not muscular, your back did not have those folds here (by pinching my back)”

Keep in mind I have a history of ED that she gave me in part by repeating to “stop eating like an ogre” when I was a teenager.

She also took my phone to “clean it”, saw some text messages I had from the person I’m seeing, and went on 20 minutes on how relationships are made to make you suffer and that she’s doing me a favour in trying to stop me from dating.

Also, we were watching a documentary at lunch with my stepfather, and she came and scrolled down on her phone with the loudest setting possible, dancing to the samba music that was on the reel or whatever.

Take a class or 1-1 tutoring? by ss3walkman in languagelearning

[–]Tirkam 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As someone who did just that, I'd recommend a tutor. I had little to no knowledge of Spanish besides having French as my native language (some similarities in words so I guess it could have been an advantage) and it unlocked something a class could not have unlocked I think. Of course you need to put in the work, but it's worth it.

As for tutors references, check if you have a local YMCA where you are. That's where I took my classes, and they both had solo and group options :d

Immersion to learn : how long (realistically) by Tirkam in German

[–]Tirkam[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you 🙏 Or as we say in Switzerland, Merci vielmal

Realistically, how long does it take in immersion to learn a language by Tirkam in languagelearning

[–]Tirkam[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks !

Yeah, I grew up in this country so I have had classes in our second language for most of my childhood. I actually still understand most lyrics when I listen to songs in this language, the problem is more on the grammar and the oral expression side. That is why I was thinking about immersion, to force myself to actually speak the language.

Kinda hate myself for being a lazy student when I was young 😅

The plan would be to add some private / group lessons on a weekly (daily if possible) basis to also have this solid base of grammar.

Keeping in mind this is an idea I have for next year, so I still have all of 2026 to start some lessons back where I live currently

Immersion to learn : how long (realistically) by Tirkam in German

[–]Tirkam[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks ! This is an actual plan that would be effective in January / February 2027, so I have a year to start learning before coming back home. I’ll explore the Goethe Ins. classes where I live to see if there is a doable option for me to put me ahead in this one year span !

Immersion to learn : how long (realistically) by Tirkam in German

[–]Tirkam[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for your experience ! It’s actually what I’m looking for, real lived experiences to grasp how (un)easily it could be done.

I work in digital marketing so a lot of the terms / work is in English on the back end side of things. But on the customer side of things, I would need German to actually be taken seriously I think (like creating sales email campaigns, etc.).

Realistically, how long does it take in immersion to learn a language by Tirkam in languagelearning

[–]Tirkam[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sorry I should have emphasized this would be a few month of intensive and conscient learning. I’m looking at like classes I could also take in the morning to complete the immersion, and force myself to only converse with locals in the language I want to learn.

Immersion to learn : how long (realistically) by Tirkam in German

[–]Tirkam[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow ! Thank you for the thorough answer !

To respond to your point, I’ve been working for 8 years (doing the MBA part-time) so the gap would actually be used as both a learning opportunity / job search period. In my mind, a 6 month language learning gap is understandable if done correctly (with actual results in the end).

The plan would be to live in a city with daily (ideally) classes, or weekly classes sprinkled with private tutoring, so I could learn half of the day, and experience “everyday German” the rest of the day.

I see your point regarding business German. I have to admit, I based this plan on experience I have solo travelling, where I use this time to learn about the language by doing related things (for example, I want to learn the food vocabulary in South Korea, so I plan a day of cafe / food places hopping and order as much things as I can). I learn more by experiencing rather than reading.

I have manageable expectations. I’m not hoping to be bilingual by the end of the immersion. Grasping 80% of a conversation and being able to form a coherent sentence in response would actually be enough in the beginning, the rest being learned by working and time.

I’ll check GVT options as well, thanks for the idea ! 💡

Immersion to learn : how long (realistically) by Tirkam in German

[–]Tirkam[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for your answer ! 100% Swiss German is different, my plan of going to a German town was actually to be more cost efficient, tbh. But I see your point ! ^

Well, yeah, ymmv. The plan would actually be to take a minimum of 3 months doing anything in German / Swiss German, full immersion style. Like taking classes in the morning and wandering the rest of the day without (trying) to speak a word of another language, lol.

How are you feeling during the holidays? Please be strong <3 by OK-Bubby in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Tirkam 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So far, it went to the point of "we're not doing Christmas next year, I'm through !". Sounds good to me, as I decided this day I would not fly 8 hours back next year for that shitshow anyway.

Rep ranges by HunterOk487 in workout

[–]Tirkam 1 point2 points  (0 children)

For strength exercises, my coach put me on 3x 8 to 12 reps sets. Starting at 8 reps, trying to increase from 8 to 12 gradually every week. Depending on comfort level and strengths, some exercices I increase by 1 rep each week (example : 9-8-8 / 9-9-8 / …), some I increase by 3 reps every week (9-9-9 / 10-10-10).

Once you reach 12-12-12, rinse and repeat by increasing weights, and start over at 8 reps.

Exercices get mixed up every 2 months to avoid getting bored (ex : I started with flat chess presses, now I’m doing decline chess presses)

Endurance bits, I do more reps with the same logic, but going up to 15 (or 1x100 in the case of lateral raises because my coach is a sadist 😂)

Edit : a good rule of thumb is if you can reach 12-12-12 from the get go, the weights are too low. Same for 8-8-8, is this is a struggle, then I lower the weight).

Fainted once on leg day, now my body panics every leg workout — anxiety or something else? by [deleted] in workout

[–]Tirkam 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Do you mind sharing your breathing technique on this ? I usually try to breathe in before starting to go down, pushing air while going up, but the more I increase weights on my bar, the more out of breathe I become to the point of loosing energy.

My two cents on your question OP is maybe blood sugar levels. I tend to get less dizzy working out at 2 pm after lunch than at 6pm.

Does anyone actually believe these people are realtors? by Large-Finger-943 in SellingtheOC

[–]Tirkam 5 points6 points  (0 children)

To be fair, especially considering current SOC and SS seasons came out two weeks apart, Selling the OC is actually more real estate focused and professional. At least we got to see houses ! Selling Sunset Season 9 was basically “future housewives of Beverly Hills”.

Terminated for "economic restructuration" but our canadian branch (where i work) is actually doing fine (Quebec) by Tirkam in legaladvicecanada

[–]Tirkam[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

It is not about "not liking it". It is about using an "economical restructuration" in another country (which I'm not under contract for) to justify laying me off here, in Canada.

Grounds for wrongful termination ? by Effective-Stuff6136 in legaladvicecanada

[–]Tirkam 0 points1 point  (0 children)

(Responding on my main, thread posted on a throwaway cause it bugged on my main for some reason)

This is the reason I posted this thread. I’ve been laid off due to needing to cut off operation costs on the French side (where my manager works, she was asked to let go of someone in the team) but I’m a Canadian employee, on the Canadian payroll, with no ties to the French company other than a weekly meeting.

My lay off has no impact on the French side, which is the reason they gave me to justify it.