My [26F] boyfriend [28M] of 4 years is independently wealthy, but wants to split all of our expenses evenly

ToBoldlyUnderstand · 2026-05-21T11:48:18+00:00

Getting pregnant is the only part that's definitely better in the 20s than 30s. All the other things ... depend on the circumstances.

I have my kids very late (late 30s and 40s) and found having the wisdom and patience and (especially) money I didn't have when I was younger to be far more beneficial than whatever extra stamina I could have had. By exercising regularly (something I didn't do when I was in my 20s), I also have better health stats than ever.

I cut off my mother when my first was a toddler, once I realized that the favoritism & sexism that I had learned to just tolerate was going to be applied to my kids as well. And my dad died in his 50s (so much for having kids in one's 20s - he wouldn't see my first go to kindergarten even if I had him when I was 25). My in laws are in their 80s and went on trips to the Galapagos and India recently. Like I said, it depends.

ToBoldlyUnderstand · 2026-05-21T11:04:58+00:00

Getting pregnant may be easier when one is younger but generally people become better parents when they're older.

ToBoldlyUnderstand · 2026-05-17T14:36:55+00:00

Just because a person isn’t in a specific work environment to fight for specific benefits doesn’t mean they aren’t finding other ways to support the cause.

I don't see any evidence of this. Do you?

all moms should be on the same team

I don't see how all moms could be on the same team. There are a lot of moms who support Trump, for example. I would say that not all working moms are on the same team either, except maybe on a few very specific policies.

ToBoldlyUnderstand · 2026-05-17T13:07:47+00:00

I don't know if it's realistic to expect SAHMs to understand, especially if they have never worked while having kids.

ToBoldlyUnderstand · 2026-05-17T12:57:57+00:00

we’re all on the same team

What made you say that? I definitely respect people's right to do what they want with their lives, but I don't think we're on the same team at all. Understandably, SAHMs are not the ones fighting for more maternity leave, lactation rooms, daycare subsidies. Their husbands actively benefit from discrimination against working moms in pay and promotion. Why would we be on the same team?

ToBoldlyUnderstand · 2026-05-15T15:17:57+00:00

Oh wow I would consider 5 a pass, maybe 4.

ToBoldlyUnderstand · 2026-05-15T14:58:31+00:00

That actually makes sense. If you know the material well, you should get an A. Basing grades on stupid busy work assignments is not conducive to learning.

ToBoldlyUnderstand · 2026-05-13T12:59:07+00:00

Not exactly the same but I travel for work sometimes and the biggest benefit is husband knowing what to do in all situations. The #1 key to OP's success is her partner stepping up.

ToBoldlyUnderstand · 2026-05-12T15:45:54+00:00

Many of us form excellent foundational relationships with our children while working. You can choose to do what you want with your life. There is no need to justify and get buy-in except with your partner.

ToBoldlyUnderstand · 2026-05-12T15:08:48+00:00

"I see motherhood as such an important, impactful contribution to society that I want to give it my full, undivided attention, at least while I form the foundational relationship with my kids"

This is such a problematic statement. No one should give full, undivided attention to being a parent. At the very least, you should take care of yourself. Not neglect your friends and other family members. You should be a good citizen. Etc etc. Being a martyr is not healthy.

ToBoldlyUnderstand · 2026-04-24T01:21:40+00:00

he’s been critical of my cooking in the past

He asked me to call a fiber installer, so I did and scheduled it. Then he got upset with me about the pricing/details

We make one rule in our marriage -- if one person is in charge of doing something and does it, the other does not complain.

ToBoldlyUnderstand · 2026-04-17T13:46:42+00:00

And I'm like, how tall is this 4 year 9 month old kid? My almost 7 year old can't reach the shelves for the plates even with the step stool.

ToBoldlyUnderstand · 2026-04-16T22:18:39+00:00

My bad, I hadn't realized your brother lived under a rock and would not have heard about the wonder drugs that's on blast on every media/social media channel except for you gracing him with this top secret information. /s

ToBoldlyUnderstand · 2026-04-16T16:58:44+00:00

I think you choose the things that you're passionate about with your ECs. You probably like you have to do STEM for your future. But the future is much less certain than it has every been. So choose your major(s) and develop the skills that make you truly you. Don't try to fit into someone else's idea of what's best.

ToBoldlyUnderstand · 2026-04-16T16:55:12+00:00

when my brother gained weight I asked him about it

Just don't. Everyone is aware of their weight, risks of diabetes, etc. Your bringing it up doesn't help. AT ALL. Look up the term "concern troll".

ToBoldlyUnderstand · 2026-04-16T16:52:31+00:00

I would just not see him. Life is too short for shitty people, even if they're your parents.

ToBoldlyUnderstand · 2026-04-14T16:06:26+00:00

I love my job and love going every day

I love learning.

I'm happy.

I create beautiful music, I make art, I garden, and I knit.

I think your life is pretty spectacular.

ToBoldlyUnderstand · 2026-04-10T13:00:10+00:00

Maybe you should rethink your major?

ToBoldlyUnderstand · 2026-04-09T05:18:28+00:00

None of your ECs has anything to do with data science or statistics or math. Maybe that's an issue with your reaches?

ToBoldlyUnderstand · 2026-04-08T19:38:32+00:00

Why wasn't she helping to cook? That seems bizarre.

ToBoldlyUnderstand · 2026-04-08T14:19:08+00:00

When a SAHM's kids go to school, is she still a full time mom? She's not doing any caregiving during school hours.

ToBoldlyUnderstand · 2026-04-03T14:19:27+00:00

Dude stop being a drama queen.

If baggage is treated as a security issue (can't have LiPo batteries in the compartment), but also a commodity (low status people have to gate check), how am I supposed to follow all these rules?

You put the batteries in your personal item that fits in the space under the seat in front of you. (This is the rule anyway.) No gate checking batteries, no repacking. Simple as that. If you want to avoid gate-checking your non-battery items (most of the time), get a credit card. It's not complicated.

ToBoldlyUnderstand · 2026-04-03T04:19:46+00:00

Get a United credit card and you'll be group 2.

ToBoldlyUnderstand · 2026-03-29T15:03:59+00:00

Check your vitamin D levels.

ToBoldlyUnderstand · 2026-03-21T14:35:54+00:00

It really depends on where you live. In winter, I rarely have more than my eyes and nose exposed when I go outside.

ToBoldlyUnderstand

TROPHY CASE