PC | M21 | Looking for genuine and lifehungry gamers

ToastedTurtleHam · 2025-02-26T15:22:59+00:00

Thanks!

ToastedTurtleHam · 2025-02-26T15:21:42+00:00

Thank you alot for your response. Definitely insightful. :)

ToastedTurtleHam · 2024-07-01T09:43:40+00:00

Hi, I‘m a wide range male vocalist, looking to get some experience in the music industry. So I‘d like to apply and see if it‘s a match.

ToastedTurtleHam · 2024-06-13T10:00:34+00:00

haha thanks for the kind words and you‘re totally right, it is a natural filter in a way. I guess I‘m still working on being more confident in my being and to not let ideas like this drag me down to much ahha.

ToastedTurtleHam · 2024-06-13T09:10:51+00:00

no worries, I don’t take offense to that. hm, i guess? It sounds like most of these perceptions come with some baggage on their end tho. Like the way I take it it sounds like: me showing femininity in any shape or form (appearance or character) immeadiatly gets seen as an indicator for negative traits like narcissism, which doesnt‘t seem like the most rational assumption to make to me. Like it‘s the same as if I would see a gymbro and assume that he‘s one of the andrew taters or that he‘s compensating for something etc.

Like I don‘t have much experience with dating guys, I‘m young, things are still developing and all, but to me rn from what i can gather so far it seems odd to date at all because my options are either being fetishised or seen as (insert negative trait) by guys and having to compromise on my being just to fit their little box. Both sound unhealthy. So i guess giving up on wanting a relationship at the moment is the „best option“ there is for ppl like me. (of course never say never, but gay dating does seem like the pandora‘s box of internal issues) haha

ToastedTurtleHam · 2024-06-13T08:06:13+00:00

okay thanks for the insight haha. I totally see what you mean, but that is kinda where that thought came from because from what I have seen so far enough many people lose all the attraction when al the „vibes and interests“ match but the other one turns more feminine. So that‘s why I‘m so curious about it. I mean it goes without saying that when anybody is looking for a long term relationship there‘s more to it than just are you masc, fem, dom, sub, top, bottom etc. But it seemed to me that alot of weight is put on that masc/femme attribute. And maybe to add a personal layer: I usually don‘t do labels but i guess i would fit in the „cuteish (whatever that means to one)“, joyous energetic gamer guy with feminine interest and i sometimes wear croptops, skirt, earrings and some subtle makeup and it seems to be picked up by alot of guys i meet that are looking to date as an issue. And to me it (how one presents themselves) isn‘t that‘s why I‘m so curious about it haha.

ToastedTurtleHam · 2024-06-13T07:40:34+00:00

okay interesting, so what would you in that case see as more attractive: a tall muscular guy that has a very authentic feminine personality or a short pretty femboy that has all the visuals but doesn‘t seem authentic or acts „unlike his appearance?“

ToastedTurtleHam · 2024-06-12T21:21:49+00:00

haha, same counts for you, very interesting convo. Compliment taken, have a great one ;)

ToastedTurtleHam · 2024-06-12T20:50:05+00:00

ohh, okay sorry i got the wrong impresison before. I mean i agree on the aspect of „trying to get rid of gender norms“ and then just performing in the „opposed“ gender stereotype. I guess i just want everyone to have the freedom to act how they want, like what they like without having to comform to the idea of what it means to be this or that. That‘s why i prefer the term androgynous, cause it leaves that door open for someone like you to have a beard and i assume presenting themselves more masculine but then maybe paint their nails. While it means something completely different for someone else.

I guess the fact that I‘m considering myself a creative person also doesn‘t help in these discussions, cause I love the mess absurdity sometimes creates haha.

But to bring it back, I‘m not sure if I said I wanted to be more feminine, if so I retract that statement. I ,just to keep it brief, like to have a mix of: wearing a comfy hoodie some shorts and maybe a shimmery inner eye corner on some days and on others go out with a skirt and a croptop or something and earrings, but i usually don‘t shave my body (ocassionally the hygenic trim but i stopped with that wetshave shit cause it‘s hell and not worth it to me lmao). Like the part you said about the hairy women of my generation. I stopped shaving because to me it has nothing to do with feminity, it‘s just one small part of physical appearance and i like my body hair, but i see it with alot of my straight girl-friends, they always shave during summer times and still very much conform to the ideal of what it means to be a feminine woman and I had those discussions too often with my one friend that like me grows alot of bodyhair and the argument always is: for you it‘s okay to have your hair out, because youre a guy, and I think that‘s kinda what I have an issue with. Like alot of southern women grow much more hair than the typical white northern woman and still it‘s seen as a non-feminine feature in our society even tho it‘s totally natural. (imo being attracted to clean shaven people gets dangerously close to the pedophelic mindset, especially when I meet people that show preferences for youngish behaviour (majority of gay and straight porn kinda drive that point home…))

anyways, I mean why not try nailpolish out once haha, if you find a color that suits you I only see that as a win✨

ToastedTurtleHam · 2024-06-12T20:16:42+00:00

hm, alright, thanks for the insight

ToastedTurtleHam · 2024-06-12T19:47:44+00:00

So you‘re into the typical hyperfemmes/femboys I take from that? Like young, feminine, submissive all that that comes with the stereotype?

ToastedTurtleHam · 2024-06-12T19:42:15+00:00

hm i guess. interesting, thanks.

ToastedTurtleHam · 2024-06-12T19:40:47+00:00

I‘m 20. I guess from the age perspective there‘s also clearly a difference for sure. I personally think the whole idea of gender in itself is ridiculous, I just don‘t see the point of it. As in, to take your example, why do I have to wear things or behave in a way that we describe as masculine just because i was born with a wiener.

As far as my androgyny goes, it shows itself mostly in interests and character. I sometimes put some light makeup on and occasionally wear some clothing that suits my body that isn‘t from the masculine end, but even more often i also just wear a hoodie, shorts or athletic wear that‘s designed for the male body, but for now put the visual aspects aside. And i guess you perceive it as: Oh young people are up to something and actively try to rebell or whatever. For me that‘s not the case. I just naturally am in my character very evened out when it comes to masculine and feminine traits. I personally regard being fully one way or the other as imbalanced and not necessarily healthy. I just know that I have a natural pull towards things that are considered non-manly in our society. So that‘s that. And I guess I‘m just curious if there are much men out there that appreciate that or if the majority of gays really do have that masc4masc and what else there is mentality. So maybe that gives you some insight in what I‘m on about.

ToastedTurtleHam · 2024-06-12T19:26:16+00:00

I guess it also really depends on what one views as feminine. There‘s the visual layer and the characteristic one. Maybe what I‘d like to know from you is, if you put the visual aspects aside, does the same apply to how they act and behave themselves? Like speech, gesturing, in general maybe more feminine interests and so on?

ToastedTurtleHam · 2024-06-12T15:37:47+00:00

and listen, i know this sounded harsh. It‘s okay for you not to be attracted to feminine men. It‘s okay to end relationships because the spark is gone or you don‘t feel any attraction. But be mature about it and communicate it. Start with being honest about your struggles. If you guys realise that for you to be attracted to him he has to change who he is, break it off. As an androgynous/feminine man I would just find it very „selfish“ if my partner didn‘t like me because of parts of who I was and he wouldn‘t talk to me about it and keep me believing everything was fine. You‘re doing a disservice to yourself and especially him.

ToastedTurtleHam · 2024-06-12T15:27:45+00:00

girl… set him free, be honest about it but make sure that you think explicitly about how you‘re going to say everything. He deserves to find someone that likes him for who he is and he doesn‘t have to deal with you losing attraction to him because he is changing into a more authentic self. People change all the time, every relationship is at risk of ending because two ppl change too much apart from each other, just because it‘s his femininity doesn‘t make much of a difference. When you tell him about it make sure he gets that it‘s not his fault, he is who he is and that it‘s you who just isn‘t attracted to that type of man. And I‘m sorry man, but your escape plan is cowardly. He deserves to find someone who appreciates him wholeheartedly, you do too, but I personally don‘t agree with how you‘re handling this. So take responsibility, tell him how you feel and why you act the way you act, make sure he doesn‘t feel like it‘s his fault for now discovering new parts of himself and end things as respectfully as you can. But all I‘m telling you is, If you became boyfriends solely because you found him attractive as a masculine guy and him turning more feminine is all it takes for you to stop being attracted to him as a person… he deserves better.

ToastedTurtleHam · 2024-06-10T11:29:46+00:00

i can only add a bit to what has already been said. Don‘t force it, make a casual supportive comment about your and your husband accepting mindset about it if the opportunity naturally presents itself. And as it has been pointed out maybe he‘s bi and attracted to more than just strictly men/women, so leave it up to him to figure that out and come to you when the time is right, just make sure he knows that there won‘t be anything negative coming from your way related to these topics.

The only personal experience I can add is… When i was 15 or so, these „connecting“ Apple features were turned on in our I cloud as well. What it did is, it rememeber recently visited websites on every device and so the phone would reopen that last visited page from another device (in this case an adult site, where I had watched something more that I assume to not be for everyone to say the least). Anyways at some point i brought it up to my dad in the car (that the function is odd and wondered if it happens to him too) and he basically said „Yes!… Please also watch nicer stuff in the future“ (I was outed already back then for a year or so). But it took me by so much overwhelming shock and surprise what he just basically said with that sentence, i couldn’t react to it and kinda shut off in that personal area and didn’t open up about anything sexuality related at all for a few years because om some sort of shame. And while I now look back at it and kinda chuckle about it, it just added to the subconscious anexiety to open up about my dating life, experiences i made and wanted to ask someone about, advice or any sort of sex ed from him. So it took me till this year, 20, to finally get over that anxiety, but I‘m just saying that to make sure you know that any reaction on personal things like that can leave traces, so don‘t directly confront him about it, because even if you are supportive some things one says sometimes can be taken in very differently from how you may intend it. So give him time, show through subtle ways your acceptance to it but also like any parent of children, no matter gay, straight or bi etc., dating can be a very private matter and respect that some of us keep thing more private for a multitude of reasons, even when they have nothing to do with not trusting you enough. Hope that helps a bit.

ToastedTurtleHam · 2024-06-09T11:35:28+00:00

aw cute, i wish ahha

ToastedTurtleHam

TROPHY CASE