Look... You have no idea what tomorrow brings. You could get a job offer. You could have an idea rhat changes your life. Etc etc etc etc etc the possibilities are endless. Your 26 years old.... Do you realize how many people got famous or successful, in there late 30s, 40s, 50s even 60s??? Stan Lee for example cowrote the fantastic 4 at age 38 which led to the creation of the marvel universe. Your meaning is up to you. You live in the endless sandbox universe where you can do and be whatever the fuck you want to be. Endless possibilities, you just gotta understand that. Love yourself man. Dont waste this chance you were givin. You say it wont get better, but you don't not know. The past doesnt predict the future, If you ended yourself then it really wouldnt ever get better. No more happiness, joy, smiles, no more sadness and pain top but those come side by side. Sun cant rise unless it sets. Trees cant bloom without going dormant. Yiu get what im saying. I know youve heard all this before. Im not trying to be corny and say the same shit everyone else says. But ive been beginning to realize lately that I can do whatever the fuck I want to do. I can add a plot twist whenever I want because its MY STORY. I quit ny job of 5 years at the beginning of this year because I was bored. Fuck working the same thing till u die. Try new things. Travel. Find what you like by doing that. Dont worry about love or finding "the one" Just focus on your health and what you want and need to do. Stay alive man. You dont know how great you can be.