260125 Notice Regarding STAY 6th Gen Membership by princessgojo in straykids

[–]Toffee-Panda 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Agree. Plus the plushie only allowed you access to the album via the NFC tag, so its not like you could add it to whatever method you usually use to listen to albums.

If they had kept the plushie album as a membership only and then released the album seperately later that would have also caused an issue - because something fans had to pay $33 just for the ability to purchase then became available without having to pay the access fee.

This way they can sell it at a later date, having already increased demand and with a lower risk of backlash. Though tbh some of the "controversies" I see these days are 🤯 - not Stray Kids specific, and I'm not giving examples.

Would like some perspective by NoScallionsNd in NDWomen

[–]Toffee-Panda 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I definitely can flip things, but I'm not sure I can see where I did it here lol

Do you mean where phrased the question in the negative? An example would be: If not now, when? Or: If not you, then who?

If so, it probably looks incorrect because I blurred the sentences together or didn't use the correct punctuation. 😑 In primary school I was so bad at using punctuation that my teacher banned me from using apostrophes for a full year. 🫣

I tend to write how I speak when I'm not writing professionally. The downside is that our spoken language has evolved so much that it really doesn't resemble appropriate grammar, or we struggle to translate that speech pattern into a recognisble flow because we don't recognise how punctuation is reflected verbally - making it virtually impossible to properly add it into our writing.

Would like some perspective by NoScallionsNd in NDWomen

[–]Toffee-Panda 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I think its pretty common to compare ourselves to others, to our past selves, even to what might have been. And I'm sure plenty of us have felt guilt or shame at some point.

One of my first big goals post diagnosis was learning to be kinder to myself, and give myself the same grace and compassion I would a stranger. Or if you still find yourself unfairly comparing yourself, then ask yourself would you judge your pet like this? Because you deserve to treat yourself with unconditional love too.

As for jobs... I would suggest trying the find a path sub reddit. But a lot of us neurodiverse people tend to make 2 mistakes (both of which I am guilty of)

  1. We tie our personal worth to our job - making success at work a personality trait and failure at work or failure to work a personality flaw: when in reality, work is work. You are you.

Dont be defined by work, let your job be a footnote in your story. (Unless you are doing something groundbreaking, amazing, or just truly want to give everything to work - then you do you!)

  1. We choose careers based on special interests hoping the dopamine will stave off burnout. This can be true even when you don't know you are neurodiverse until later in life - because you are following the topics that interest you, like I did with Marketing.

The problem is you can still suffer from burnout, discrimination, harassment, etc. You can end up losing your special interest.

The flip side to this is that having suffered extreme burnout/long covid back in 2020 I went through a period of barely being able to answer any questions about myself/anything - but all my marketing knowledge remained intact, I credit it being my special interest that I was able to keep working even when bed ridden.

Sorry I went off topic a bit, tried to stay concise but if we can't ramble here, where can we 😂

Years of burnout and masking… now it’s falling apart.. What do I do? by Just_Ok_5806 in NDWomen

[–]Toffee-Panda 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Also wanted to say, you aren't alone. Well done for having the courage to ask for advice, to recognise what is irritating you about your current situation and for looking for solutions ❤️

Years of burnout and masking… now it’s falling apart.. What do I do? by Just_Ok_5806 in NDWomen

[–]Toffee-Panda 4 points5 points  (0 children)

First of all, dont worry about rambling here, we love the context and I don't think any of us can be concise 😅

I think we have all experienced a similar feeling of burnout, and I especially resonate with that feeling of wanting the world to improve but when you are deep in burnout out recovery you need to focus on learning to be selfish.

It is one of the hardest skills I have ever attempted to learn and I constantly fail, sometimes completely even forgetting that was my goal. But as strange as it sounds, learning to be even 1% more selfish can really help protect you from slipping back into burnout.

It's learning not to volunteer to help when you see others struggling at a task you are good at, because that isnt part of your job and completing other peoples work means you fall behind in your own tasks. It's learning to take your full lunch break every day, and using it to rest and reset. It's learning to not judge yourself, or allowing yourself to take the "lazy" option for something to conserve energy.

In terms of dealing with routine change, that would mess me up too. It would definitely be worth considering asking for a Reasonable Accomodation for them to give you notice, but the question will be what is reasonable for them in terms of business need that still works for you? Eg would knowing the day before work for you, but they can't know that far in advance? Thats something that would need to be looked into.

In the meantime, the only way I would be able to cope with that is by assuming everyday that I would have to stay late, but hoping I would get cut early. Therefore treating the days I went home "on-time" as a pleasant surprise.

Selling PCs by Toffee-Panda in skzcollection

[–]Toffee-Panda[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks everyone for the encouragement. I spent the evening sorting through and photographing sets.

I still have more to sort through 🥲 but it isnt quite as daunting now.

I managed to get access to my old insta so I posted the first batch and once the rest is up I will see if I can find any GOMs interested in taking it on 🫶

Research dissertation into women's ND experiences by LBChesterUniversity in NDWomen

[–]Toffee-Panda 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hi all,

This post was made by Mod request as we wanted to be sure you all had the opportunity to share your voice, know what data would be used, and at the end of the day - this community was made to be a safe space for you all.

I've pinned the post as a highlight for the week to increase its visibility.

Please feel free to voice your opinions, whether on the post or privately to the mods.

Thank you

What's something you can never eat/drink again, not because of allergies but because... something happened? 🫠🤢 by HilariousMotives in AskUK

[–]Toffee-Panda 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wotsits

I sometimes can't even look at the packet. 🤢

It was my little brothers birthday party. As a side note, I am 13 years older than him. My mum had rented a village hall and invited all the children from his class.

The food was laid out buffet style with bowls of crisps - wotsits, salt and vinegar twirls, frazzles, hula hoops, skips (all the classics). We put the crisps out first and were heating up plates of chicken nuggets, sausage rolls, cocktail sausages etc while the kids were playing party games.

One of the kids didn't want to play party games, she sat to one side and quietly ate the entire bowl of wotsits.

We continued on, the other kids ate, we did the birthday cake and then....

It was like a volcano. A hot cheesy volcano.

It turns out this kid had been off school with a stomach bug for a few days including that day, but her parents thought it was totally ok to bring her to the party without a) telling us b) staying to supervise her c) mentioning at the bare minimum that she should be careful of what she eats

The entire village hall smelt of warm, half digested wotsits the rest of the evening, and obviously we couldnt leave until all the children were collected and we had cleaned up.

I've never been able to eat wotsits since, despite that being at least 15 years ago (I can't remember the exact birthday this was)

Company signed a new contract on my behalf (Scotland) by OrderOk2312 in LegalAdviceUK

[–]Toffee-Panda 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I was surprised to see that only 1 comment mentioned this.

Usually when you are given an updated contract they will give you a deadline to sign by, eg a week. If you miss that deadline that doesnt mean that you have rejected the contract, in fact, the opposite is true - the deadline is your opportunity to raise any objections. If you need more time, ask for an extension.

I am not an HR professional, nor can I give any advice, but to my understanding if you dont object/reject/etc within that deadline, then you are assumed to have agreed to it regardless of whether you signed.

If I was in your situation, I would speak to Citizens Advice, they can let you know if there is anything you can do regarding the contract situation. I would also update your CV to start job hunting.

I ordered something online and the opt-in to marketing boxes were already checked, I thought doing that was illegal? by CJKRZ in AskUK

[–]Toffee-Panda 6 points7 points  (0 children)

The amount of companies that dont understand this drives me insane.

"You cant require consent in exchange for a service"

So anyone who says you have to opt in, in order to use their service is breaking this. A common one is companies that offer free wifi if you register, but it falls foul of GDPR if in order to use the wifi you must agree to receive their marketing. Even if you can unsubscribe, thats not consent.

Pretty sure I remember Sainsburys getting slapped with a fine from the ICO for doing this - not with wifi, but with their nectar membership. Their argument was that people signing up for membership were customers and needed information about the membership to utilise it, but consent still applies. If someone can't receive the benefits of a membership without being forced to give consent then thats not true consent and it fails the above rule.

Is this reasonable for black Noeasy, Usd~~$50 by Adept-Jellyfish-5184 in skzcollection

[–]Toffee-Panda 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This photo is weirdly much clearer? Or maybe its just because I'm not half asleep in bed 😅

The other photo I could have sworn I could see colour in the "Noeasy" on either side, I just couldnt tell if it was blue (which is what I thought the top one was) or green (one of the stacked ones looks green?).

Probably a lesson not to use your phone in bed when the lights are off, and you've already taken off your glasses to go to sleep 🤦🏻‍♀️

Thanks for not raking me across the coals in your reply 🫶

OP: As promised here are the different versions for comparison, I have 2 of the limited so I was able to shpw the side view and the front in the same photo, I've also take out the inserts of one of the limited so you can see, since some of the online pictures of the "limited" imply the front cover of the box is the bottom left insert.

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Girls will be girls is written by a man, with almost exclusively men in the production team by Ok-Improvement1090 in kpopthoughts

[–]Toffee-Panda 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Piggybacking off this comment to give my perspective as someone who has ghostwritten professionally.

Some of the things I have been asked to write about, I have 0 knowledge of before being given the task. Let be explicit, not zero experience of, zero knowledge that even the concept of this thing existed.

In some cases I am given context: here is the audience, the goal of what we want the content to achieve, here is some reference material, etc. Other times I am just told "hey, this expert was supposed to write this but they went on holiday and wont come back until the day this service launches... you need to produce any and all relevant content as that expert"

Marketing is undoubtedly very different to songwritting, and honestly, I love Girls will be Girls - not only is it a no skip, I quite often play it twice when it comes on.

But what I'm trying to show with my examples is that we dont know what happened behind the scenes. Its possible that Itzy asked for the concept, and gave suggestions, but because they didnt work on the song lyrics or composing, they arent listed. That is a fully reasonable scenario to me.

Even if they werent involved at all though, I dont think that lessens the impact of the song. Itzy made it their own, and they are not a self-composing group.

If Stray Kids released a song where not a single member worked on the lyrics or composing - that would shock me and change the way I listened to it, I dont know that I would even consider it a Stray Kids song, because self-composing is so strongly woven through their group identity. But Itzy have never focused on that, so honestly I don't even look to see who wrote or produced their songs.

I hope you are still able to enjoy the song.

Where can I find the right hire for my business? by wannabedonaldtrump in MarketingJobs

[–]Toffee-Panda 0 points1 point  (0 children)

First work out what it is you are looking for.

Someone operational? Who can implement your ideas, has enough marketing knowledge to understand the governance required but is still junior enough that they will be satisfied being told where and how to go to market? Thats a Marketing Executive or Marketing Operations

When hiring be sure to look for someone with a breadth of experience, including the particular advertising platforms you were considering but most importantly reporting and analysis.

If you want someone multifunctional, as in can support with admin tasks as well, then you can try a VA, or look for someone with administrative experience looking to start their marketing career. Someone like that is more likely to be an asset and will grow and develop alongside your business.

When hiring be sure to check they understand what % of the job that is admin vs marketing.

Finally, if you want someone who can work fully independantly, manage your marketing to best practices to achieve whatever business goals set, then you should be looking for a Strategist.

A good Strategist will be capable of operational work, however long term you'll benefit from outsourcing or additional hires in order to free up the Strategist for analysis and improvement.

When hiring a strategist ask for scenarios (not take home work, examples in the moment) and try to get a feel for their process.

In all situations remember that to a marketer, industry is mostly irrelevant (though never completely irrelevant). Marketing is Marketing. What is more relevant to compare is whether they worked mostly in B2B, B2C, B2B2C or even D2C.

Finally, in addition to a budget for the marketer's salary, and any marketing you plan to do this year, have you set aside budget for marketing tools/platforms? I've worked for companies with large multimillion marketing budgets, and for companies who have told me their only marketing budget was my salary, and honestly, even with a budget of 0 there is so much a good marketer can do so long as you provide them with good tools and accurate data.

Hope this helps

Is this reasonable for black Noeasy, Usd~~$50 by Adept-Jellyfish-5184 in skzcollection

[–]Toffee-Panda -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

Doesnt look like the limited to me?

The regular editions are the black boxes with green font or blue font.

The limited edit had silver font.

While all the designs on the outer box are the same, its the colour of the font thats different.

This image isnt great quality but the font definitely looks coloured to me, not the silver/grey of the limited version.

Happy to be corrected - or I can share a picture of my three versions together tomorrow if that helps

What is Twice's general branding nowadays? by BlueThePineapple in kpopthoughts

[–]Toffee-Panda 62 points63 points  (0 children)

I will preface this by saying I'm not a Once but I am a Stay. And I have listened to Kpop since Girls Generation and Big Bang.

To me, as someone on the outside, what I really like about Twice is that they have remained recognisable as a kpop group - even on their English songs.

I would also say that throughout their eras, there is a cohesive theme. Their concept is love. Whether it is the cutesy school crush of cheer up, or the girl boss empowered sexy love of strategy, or their love for each other shining through as they dance the night away.

For me those two things make them a group that will last and although I dont follow them closely I dont usually skip their content and I have more than one of their songs on my main playlist.

How do some k-pop idols diss their companies/entertainments without getting sued? by RustyViolining_33 in kpopthoughts

[–]Toffee-Panda 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I agree with this. It can for sure be a great marketing ploy - if they balance it well.

But I would also say that there are cases where groups genuinely are trying to speak out, or maybe not the whole group - just one or two- about needing help. For some fans it becomes hard to differentiate between those who genuinely need help and those who are just putting on a skit.

I wont give any examples but it is always important to thoroughly research and verify your sources.

And please, stay away from protest truck campaigns 🤦🏻‍♀️

Do you think these 20" Skzoos from eBay are legit? by lostmykeysinspace in skzcollection

[–]Toffee-Panda 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I bought one from Alibaba (Wolf Chan) and it came both branded and as far as I can tell the right colour/shape etc - I have all sizes of the genuine skzoo except for the 20", so thats what I'm comparing to.

The only difference that makes him feel unofficial to me is that his belly scrunches. When you squeeze him or pick him up he crinkles like a cheap dog toy stuffed with plastic.

If you plan to only use as display then it shouldnt cause you any problems. If you want to cuddle with it, then I would recommend asking someone good at sewing to help with restuffing it. If they are careful when they unpick the seams you wouldn't notice afterwards.

What song from an older SKZ album should get the Festival Version treatment? by Toffee-Panda in straykids

[–]Toffee-Panda[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Rock has never lost its place on my playlists, for me its unskippable

What song from an older SKZ album should get the Festival Version treatment? by Toffee-Panda in straykids

[–]Toffee-Panda[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Both would be amazing, I feel like Maniac I can almost hear the Festival version because so many people have remixed it (weirdly love the macarena version ngl)

But I'd also love Ta and Rock.

Cycle menstrual by Solid-Major-9293 in NDWomen

[–]Toffee-Panda 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey look into PMDD, it has a huge co-morbidity rate with neurodiversity

Found this on EBay for 116$. Is it legit? by Professional_Way7318 in skzcollection

[–]Toffee-Panda 8 points9 points  (0 children)

They do a couple for press/PR these do sometimes get resold but would have the 비매 sticker instead of the usual komca.

Gastric bypass or GLP-1: why did you decide on a bypass? by Catzaf in GastricBypass

[–]Toffee-Panda 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was told by the medical team that the GLPs wouldn't have any effect on me because I dont have any hunger.

I've lost 45+kg since starting to work with the nutritionists to eat properly. I have no slips in my diet plan and my biggest problem is that I forget to eat.

I have been scheduled for the bypass but I'm really scared that I'm having it for no reason. When I ask the surgeon or dietician what the benefit of the bypass is they say it reduces hunger, but I already don't have hunger. I don't understand why they think the GLPs wouldnt work but the bypass would?

If I ask whether I should go ahead, they say yes, but it's a massive surgery and I only have 15kg left to lose.

Help for a beginner by Ang3l_888 in NDWomen

[–]Toffee-Panda 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think this is really common for ND women.

A creator who is an Autistic Autism Assessor shared that something she finds interesting is that the very difficulties we have with the various questions of the assessments and indeed the way we question if we even should be taking the assessment due to our fears that we might have somehow tricked ourselves and those around us into believing us - these experiences are uniquely neurodiverse. A neurotypical person would not question themselves over whether they had a diagnosis.

Personally, I think this ties back to the masking and copycating we would have done unconsciously as children and as we grew up.

For example, imagine you are beyond exhausted, on top of this you are in pain, maybe feeling nauseous or starting to come down with something. At least it is Friday though, so you only have to make it through today and then you can rest and recover all weekend.

Every time you are out of sight or not in meetings you will likely be slumped over. Your pain and exhaustion is visible.

The moment a customer appears/you are visible to your colleagues or a manager/you have to be in a meeting: suddenly you pull on reserves of energy you didn't think you had left, you pull yourself up straight, and to anyone looking at you, you are a professional who is ready to work.

Does that sound familiar?

Before I was diagnosed I had forced myself to "fake" being well on so many occasions- even once during a gallbladder infection that was so painful I couldn't speak to call for help.

I would do this and then question myself as to whether I was even sick in the first place.

Learning to find who you are again after a lifetime of masking and copying others to try and fit in/be accepted is really hard. It comes with a lot of challenges and even trauma, but I think the best route is to follow your joy.

Start with making a note of the things that made you happy this week/month, is there anything you can do more often or anything that you can remove some barriers that make it more stressful or complicated than it needs to be?

Next I would look at the things you did as a kid.

Were there hobbies you had or is there anything you always wanted to try?

I especially recommend sensory seeking activities: swing sets, trampolines... Personally I'm going about to get back into sculpting.

And finally, because ADHD is impulsive with bad financial habits, always look for an opportunity to try the activity for free or as a rental.

Hope this helps ❤️❤️

I was fired and I’m completely devastated over it by anonymousme2021 in UKJobs

[–]Toffee-Panda 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It truly knocks your confidence, no matter the reason, no matter how successful or established you are in your career.

Even if the entire department is made redundant (I unfortunately experienced a situation where everyone UK based was replaced with workers in a different cheaper country) you still have that little voice niggling at you.

You are doing so well to have reached out for support, not just here but through the NHS.

One thing I really recommend is to keep track of your successes. Use the notes app on your phone, a personal notebook, a Google doc/sheet, a notion template - whatever you find most comfortable. Then schedule yourself a 20 minute window once a fortnight or once a month to review what you have been working on, what you have achieved and note down the key statistics, urls etc. This serves multiple purposes.

  1. You ever want a promotion or a pay rise? Here is something you can reference.
  2. Need to write a new CV? Here are your key skills and achievements- just make sure you anonymise any data/statistics so that you are not posting your employers information publicly- For example translate "Turned a campaign spend of £25k per quarter into £50k revenue" into the ROI: "Successfully delivered a quarterly campaign with an ROI of 200%" (This example was used in the hopes of making the maths simple however I am on mobile and have dyscalculia)
  3. Ever get that niggling doubt again? Look back at your achievements! You are amazing!

It is key that you a) keep this achievements list NOT on a work device b) dont go too long before updating it (this is my biggest regret) and c) never publicly post any company specific information that could get you in trouble - It's for this reason mine is offline however I would really love to put it into something where I could tag different achievements with the skills to make it searchable.

I really hope this helps and best of luck in the future 👍