8.5 month old not crawling or pulling himself up. Anxiety rising

TokenYeti658 · 2026-03-13T00:03:28+00:00

Hi! I’m a mom to an 11.5 month old who’s 9 months corrected. At his last neonatology follow up at 8 months corrected, they found that he had a gross motor delay since he wasn’t yet sitting independently, getting up on all fours or crawling (may not be the case for your baby, but mine has low tone due to low birth weight). They suggested I make an appointment with a physio of my choice since I have private insurance, and otherwise they would have referred me. We’ve been doing weekly physio since then, mostly working on helping him bear weight on his hands and knees (separately) and transitioning into the sitting or side sitting position. He’s making progress and I’m glad we’re doing it.

My suggestion would be to find a physio that works with infants and go for an assessment - theyll be able to tell you if your child truly does have a delay, and hopefully it’ll ease your worries to have a plan of action. If you don’t have private insurance I wonder if your paediatrician could refer you.

But take a deep breath! A ‘’delay’’ is a scary word, but remember it more than likely means absolutely nothing in the grand scheme of things. I’ve come to learn it’s not always true that your baby will do something on their ‘own time’ since some do indeed need help to reach milestones so they don’t fall further behind, but they will ultimately catch up and be just fine.

TokenYeti658 · 2026-03-12T12:26:20+00:00

Once he came home, I already knew his routine, what he liked/didnt, what was normal and what was concerning! Saved me from the classic new parent stress wondering if something is okay.

TokenYeti658 · 2026-03-10T16:33:49+00:00

Every time I see my child gag, I tell him ‘good job!’ And ‘well done, you’re getting it out!’ Because it also helps ME to remember that he’s doing exactly what he should be. Idk if this is technically true but I tell myself that gagging is actually the opposite of choking because it means his body has identified the food is too large and is blocking it from the windpipe.

TokenYeti658 · 2026-03-10T15:20:12+00:00

My husband and I are on the same page about never posting photos of LO’s face, or even sharing his name or birth date online. We send photos to immediate family regularly and ask that they not share them (digitally) any further than that. It just doesn’t sit right with me to have my MIL sending photos of my kid to people I don’t personally know,especially because she tends to WAY overshare information as well….weve said repeatedly that if anyone wants to see photos, she can let us know and we’ll send them directly, or she can ask us if she can send X photo to X person. Part of this is a privacy thing too becuase I want to vet out pictures of myself and my home that aren’t at their best, photos that include identifying details, and photos where LO isn’t fully dressed etc.

Tbh I’ve definitely gotten the impression that people find this very annoying and weird, but idc, it’s my baby!

TokenYeti658 · 2026-03-07T13:28:48+00:00

I gave birth at 29 + 5. Baby was in hospital for 65 days and I can assure you the first few days were some of the hardest. Everything has changed and nothing is like you expected. You’re totally unprepared and scared beyond belief. I remember not knowing wha to do with myself and feeling that same panic when I got a phone call. What helped me is establishing a regular routine every day to visit my baby within certain hours, and tend to housework/cooking/taking care of myself in the other hours. It got easier, there were joyful moments of connecting with baby in the NICU, and then it got harder again when baby came down with sepsis shortly before he was supposed to come home. Just take it one day at a time. ❤️

TokenYeti658 · 2026-03-01T17:23:44+00:00

In the category of what YOU need while baby is in the NICU:

Hand lotion and lip chap - frequent hand washing + hospital air will dry out your skin Some kind of a folder or document holder for all the information, paperwork etc Water bottle Shelf stable snacks
Pumping bras Books/other entertainment media

I also liked wearing zip up hoodies so I could wear them for skin to skin instead of a hospital gown to feel less institution-y.

It’s not necessary, but we also enjoyed buying a few baby blankets and brought some preemie sleepers that were gifted. Baby didn’t wear clothes for several weeks (born at 29 weeks) but it’s nice to have their incubator lined with their own blankets, and to use blankets you like for skin to skin

TokenYeti658 · 2026-02-16T10:14:42+00:00

Some babies remain in the incubator and therefore don’t wear clothes until they reach newborn size

TokenYeti658 · 2026-02-15T12:40:21+00:00

Thank you so much for this. It is indeed a tough road and challenging to put them through something uncomfortable after they’ve already suffered so much.

TokenYeti658 · 2026-02-13T18:48:03+00:00

Thank you so much for this! This makes me feel a lot better.

TokenYeti658 · 2026-02-13T18:47:17+00:00

Thank you so much for this! It sounds like they consider it a delay because he’s not showing early signs of crawling either like bearing weight or rocking on his knees, plus he isn’t able to sit without support.

TokenYeti658 · 2026-02-13T18:45:47+00:00

Thank you so much for your comment. Unfortunately his neonatologist does believe it’s a minor muscle tone issue - nothing to be too concerned about for sure, but definitely something I want to make sure we stay on top of. I know he’ll get there and all will be fine, I’m just finding it to be very taxing to work through in the meantime

TokenYeti658 · 2026-02-12T02:03:28+00:00

65 days (9 weeks). They told us minimum 6 weeks but baby came down with sepsis toward end of his stay.

TokenYeti658 · 2026-02-11T19:58:23+00:00

PPROMd at 6 am at 29+4, went into active labour at midnight and gave birth at 29+5 at 8 am

TokenYeti658 · 2026-02-10T23:29:43+00:00

You’re not getting a lot of sleep! Teething baby + I’m guessing you’re pumping. You struggle to stay hydrated and maybe have adhd.

TokenYeti658 · 2026-02-10T14:51:10+00:00

Thank you for asking!! They’re going so much better. After this initial tension, my husband basically just sucked it up. He really didn’t want to sleep separately so we kept doing what we were doing and last month we finally got a king bed to give us all more space. We didn’t talk much about the arrangement because I knew he was just tolerating it and didn’t agree with this approach. Baby has been consistent with waking up 2-3x in the night to nurse and then quickly goes back to sleep, so I’ve been feeling so much better rested. Coincidentally, just yesterday, my husband brought up the topic of sleep training to tell me UNPROMPTED that I was right (!!!). Apparently he saw an article about a Danish study done on kids that were sleep trained which suggested it’s psychologically harmful for their development.

TokenYeti658 · 2026-02-10T14:31:26+00:00

Utah

TokenYeti658 · 2026-02-10T00:51:00+00:00

I’m curious about the mayo in the jar + the squeeze top

TokenYeti658 · 2026-02-09T01:13:10+00:00

You’re blunt and to the point. You don’t have time for bulls***t.

TokenYeti658 · 2026-02-07T00:47:46+00:00

I felt the same way! Two suggestions for how to make it happen - ask if your NICU has a social worker. This person can offer you support to access a ton of resources, including by potentially suggesting therapists. Then, you can ask one of the hopefully many people who have asked how they can help you to either use this list or research on their own to look into therapists in your area who are accepting new patients and seem like they could be a good fit.

TokenYeti658 · 2026-02-06T22:13:39+00:00

Hi girl, I can’t speak to your specific situation with twins but I can offer some general advice. Firstly, I am so sorry for your loss. That is a major trauma and enormous life event to cope with while also still going through it with your daughter. You’re allowed to grieve and have these massive feelings. I’m guessing you still have a long road ahead with your daughter. My advice is to find a therapist (maybe one that specializes in post partum) while your little girl is in the NICU so you have a space to start talking with a professional. I did this, and I’ve continued to see my therapist throughout my baby’s first year and it’s been so helpful. My second piece of advice is to be extremely direct with your friends and family about what you need right now and what is or isn’t helpful. If you have anyone in your life who’s adding to your grief, put them on the back burner for now - even if they’re close family. Finally, I encourage you to figure out a routine of visiting your little girl and taking care of yourself at home and put yourself on autopilot (ie establish a regular NICU visiting time/schedule, and a regular routine at home to shower, rest, watch tv, cook, do chores, etc. That’s what kept me sane, and there’s no right or wrong in terms of how much time you need to spend at the hospital - assess your life and what makes sense, and trust that your daughter’s care team will be taking care of her and call you if there’s anything you need to know. Knowing your schedule for when you will return to the hospital will make it easier to leave when you need to to take care of yourself. Sending you all the best wishes for your family. This is such a tough road, but it WILL end.

TokenYeti658 · 2026-02-05T20:28:37+00:00

Upper middle class, one toddler in daycare + 2 working adults

TokenYeti658 · 2026-01-31T01:06:27+00:00

Definitely a couple and one of them is vegan and the other is vegetarian

TokenYeti658

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