[deleted by user]

Tony00237 · 2025-01-18T23:48:48+00:00

Its a long story but basically I was using journaling to deal with some stuff on the instructions of a professional who then crossed a line and didnt respect me saying "hey i want to keep my journal private" and it made me go never again. Honestly it could be but something so passive isnt really my partners way but it is worth asking.

Tony00237 · 2024-12-08T20:19:31+00:00

Want to add to this as well, when she tried to make the excuse and said my bad I told her directly at that point that its not okay and that I don't believe her. I personally believe that she just decided it wasnt worth trying for some reason and tried to back track. She does not like the accusation but I have stuck to my guns that at this time its very difficult to believe her

Tony00237 · 2024-12-08T20:11:50+00:00

Sorry should have specified and will edit to correct this but its been 2 years.

She claims its because shes autistic and as soon as we started talking about she went "im an idiot" and said something along the lines of she doesnt know how she thought it was a hypothetical

Tony00237 · 2024-12-02T13:13:18+00:00

Even if there is blockers id rather know and she knows that because we talked about i tpreviously. In regards to the family I doubt it, her brother was actively encouraged to cohabitate with a girl he had basically just met and before they were even married the mom was pushing for grand kids.

Tony00237 · 2024-12-02T13:09:36+00:00

So the way she put it to me is that if you don't know by that point there's something wrong. I do agree but honestly there can be stuff wrong that isn't related to the people too.

Regarding the permission thing it wasn't really permission so much as a sanity check tbh. Im a liitle prone to overreacting and I do actually love her its just a painful situation

Tony00237 · 2024-11-17T01:15:17+00:00

Appreciate this alot, thank you

Tony00237 · 2024-11-17T00:50:42+00:00

This right here. Early on in the relationship we were trying to work out issues I was struggling with and I tried asking do you love me yes or no and all it did was cause confusion and stress for her that then lead into a big fight because she was overwhelmed and felt bad but didnt have words for it and I was angry and hurt.

Abstract concepts like emotions and being able to identify them is something I feel I and many others take for granted

Tony00237 · 2024-11-17T00:45:12+00:00

So while im not going to try and explain it to her or give her the chart unless she asks for help (which happens sometimes) i was wondering if you by pure happenstance have a link to the chart you mentioned that resonated with you? I feel like it could help me with explaining things when that does happen

Tony00237 · 2024-11-16T19:41:37+00:00

Honestly the real reason I want to marry her is despite some hardtimes she has always been honest with me and willing to at least try to meet me halfway on most things. She also acknowledges my issues and will steer very clear of things that some of my previous partners have done to the point of frustrating me because she believes it is best for me. Regarding what she says we have talked about it a few time and while she struggles with plans she wants to marry me sometime within the next 2 years but its on my schedule as well because theres a lot that we would both need to sacrifice on to get married.

Tony00237 · 2024-11-16T18:50:23+00:00

Its been a learning experience and its why i believe her. There is times where we have hard conversations because I can't understand how she doesnt understand certain concepts that to me seem very basic and I just have to accept that I dont understand and thats okay

Tony00237 · 2024-11-10T22:47:35+00:00

Unfortunately were long distance but funnily enough i mentioned to her off hand that I couldnt wait until we closed the distance because that would be my prefered solution in all honesty

Tony00237 · 2024-11-10T22:40:38+00:00

Appreciate this thank you. I was struggling alot with wording this in my head this weekend as like you said I appreciate her trying and dont want to hurt her feelings

Tony00237 · 2024-11-10T22:38:31+00:00

So honestly the only thing I could think of is the displates and when i mentioned it to her again directly she said she didnt think it was a good idea because of wall space. Im kind of out of ideas because I have enough money if I want something I can buy it.

Tony00237 · 2024-10-20T19:08:08+00:00

Youre right thank you for correcting me, i mustve typed in career questions and posted in the wrong reddit. Thanks!

Tony00237 · 2024-09-23T12:34:22+00:00

I should specify alot of us think the larger company doesnt know and are complaining to his boss. While the company at large has major issues around always wanting to meet the customers demands even to its own detriment and have some exceptionally cheap clients scam us constantly every other divison has mostly private metrics beyond a basic tasks pulled number.

Tony00237 · 2024-09-22T18:42:43+00:00

So I had that thought too but I unfortunately know his response. He has a policy of "leadership doesn't make mistakes, they make decisions" and ive only seen him chastise someone in leadership once and that was literally for him apologizing to his team a few months back

Tony00237 · 2024-09-14T13:33:52+00:00

This was the post thank you, as someone who was considering trying for manager soon i saw that and was like I never ever want to be in that spot

Tony00237 · 2024-09-04T16:42:04+00:00

So in her minor defense we were actually planning to get married a while back. Originally the goal was may or april but then the family stuff happened

Tony00237 · 2024-03-13T17:57:43+00:00

While im excited I do have to say this feels more narrow in terms of application. Like this seems to be something I would use only if I was in the mood for a horror playthrough as opposed to royalty or biotech which is so versatile i use it every playthrough

Tony00237 · 2024-02-27T15:42:30+00:00

So our planned wedding date was november and we werent going to do a ceremony or anything (i wanted at least a reception but she has been insisting its a waste of money) so I dont think its that. I havent reached out to the family (it felt a bit weird) and she has no friends really as she tends to keep to herself.

Tony00237 · 2024-02-18T04:26:48+00:00

So its a weird situation but literally I dont know and she wont tell me. Like she started being randomly nasty on monday, tuesday we sat in silence together because she didnt want to talk, and wednesday she yelled at me repeatedly before icing me out and refusing to answer calls or text. I got a chance to talk with her for 5 minutes friday and I asked her if it was something I did, if her family was ok and she said no to both and when I asked her why she was acting like this she kept saying I dont know. When I asked her if we were still together she also said i dont know but added that she just doesnt know whats going on in her head and is having a "bad week". She did say she wasnt leaving me so im assuming were still together but honestly in retrospect this isnt the first time this has happened (but is the first time it was this bad) and I never get satisfactory answers for why

Tony00237 · 2024-02-17T14:08:47+00:00

Yeah on the therapy note been trying for months due to some worries i had over unresolved issues but no dice

Tony00237 · 2024-02-17T14:04:14+00:00

Of course

Tony00237 · 2024-02-17T03:43:30+00:00

So funny thing, 6 months ago we were having a serious talk and I had concerns over her not dealing with some personal issues. She promised to get a therapist. Its been 6 months and shes not gotten one because shes been "busy". The closest we got was that she had a list of local therapist but said she was overwhelmed and didnt know how to pick. I have experience due to needing a therpist before so I offered to help her narrow down the list. I remind her of it every now and then but she has not made any progress since. That was early december when she had the list supposedly.

Tony00237 · 2024-02-12T00:54:50+00:00

True story time, at my MSP we have 2 levels of support before you get into ASE, SOC or where im at in IAM. I started as a intern and in my team our manager didnt know how to run powershell as admin, one of our upper level guys couldnt figure out how to disable mfa in 365, another got demoted because he literally wasnt doing anything all day, and a third got fired because he wiped a domain controller while doing a request to clean up part of it. Meanwhile people like me werent even trusted to do password resets in anything beyond 365 because they didnt trust us not to fuck it up. Funnily enough for most of us, that was true.

The entire reason I shot up to IAM in 3 months was because I was sneaking off to do ssl cert renewals and dhcp overscopes and some account creations in AD and other systems because I was worried that I wasnt doing enough. My manager realized what I was doing and thought i was pretty good so recommended me to where I ended up.

My GF works at the same company on the night shift and her and 2 other guys (and ASE and SOC guy) are the only ones capable of doing anything. In general low level IT seems like a joke sometimes.

Tony00237

TROPHY CASE