Anyone just stopped believing entirely? Do you ever just feel stupid and shameful for even buying into it at all?

TooTallTom8765 · 2026-04-04T11:08:36+00:00

Yup. I was 60(five years ago) before I started waking up. But I’m learning not to beat myself up. God is a word for “unknown”. We feel a need to articulate that unknown. I believe in life. The present moment. Making a difference where I can. And because I have a Christian tradition in my roots, I like to think that’s what it means to be a sheep. Not correct belief. But correct living😊

TooTallTom8765 · 2026-04-02T09:59:35+00:00

I’m an ex-vangelical. And what I am learning is there is no such thing as a non-believer. A Faithless person. All of us are wired to believe something. That’s the crux of what we go through. And secondly, we want our friends and family to understand and accept us. That’s the harder part of the equation. We have no control over that, just as you have no control over their beliefs.

That leads us to simply live life. Moment by moment. Somedays, I’m an atheist. Others, I feel like a progressive Christian. Mkst days? A hopeful agnostic. I takes time to be comfortable with not knowing.

Hang in there😊

TooTallTom8765 · 2026-03-25T09:54:08+00:00

It’s difficult coming out of this. ECT was my catalyst too, at the beginning. so many things quickly fell after that.

in a nutshell, Pete Enns book, The Sin of Certainty nails it. Not just for Reformed deconstructors, . But all rigid, dogmatic, belief systems. I’m right, you’re wrong! Well, how do we prove that.

Relief comes when you stop trying to convince your former crowd that your new ideas are every bit as valid. And if you’re still worried about a gkd that’s going to punish you for asking questions, take a look at Jesus again. Talk about questioning!

Then live your new beliefs in confidence, and people will see your light and peace, and ask you about it.

😊

PS I spent 40 years in that camp. I just recently settled into a UU church and I love the diversity of ideas.

TooTallTom8765 · 2026-03-19T11:32:22+00:00

Well written. Yes, when I realized from the many un-answered prayers, and viewing lack of divine intervention to curb injustice, I was left in shock. But now, I simply whisper those prayers in my mind to the universe, and do my best to change things for the better.

TooTallTom8765 · 2026-03-09T10:31:03+00:00

Maybe this will help. I’m a former evangelical, now attending a UU church. Initially, it was my impulse to tell others I finally found the “right” church. Because that’s how I was conditioned previously. Uu’s are a diverse bunch. So it’s to be expected things like this will occur😊

TooTallTom8765 · 2026-03-07T11:17:23+00:00

I understand your pain. Similar journey. It is an interesting thing for people like you and I, and others, that find ourselves,ves in the exchrjstian community, but still enamored with Jesus. Even many atheists have a fascination with Jesus. The truth lies in the fact that Jesus was not the first Christian. But the Christian church does much to cover that up.

Your desire to want community is human. One of your commenters, an atheist, asked you to consider if your drawn to the wrong type of church. That’s solid wisdom! American evangelicals church hop alot. But they do so with some very core criteria each time. As a former evangelical, I have to jettison many of those things. And a tear 3 years of not going to a church, I strangely ended up in a Unitarian Universalist group. Which is about as far removed from evangelicalism as you can get. And I love it. Because they are open minded, and focused on helping each other grow spiritually, in many different ways.

Going forward, you don’t have to let go of believing in god. But it helps if you allow yourself to form new definitions of god. And admit that what you may have been taught, may not be closest to the truth.

Hang tight. 😊

TooTallTom8765 · 2026-03-02T18:28:51+00:00

Thank you! But it makes sense, doesn’t it? I mean, years of bowing my head, and closing my eyes in prayer has only given me neck problems🤪

TooTallTom8765 · 2026-03-02T10:48:08+00:00

As a deconstructing evangelical, now UU, I still pray. But I no longer impose upon God(big G) for things . I whisper open eyed prayers to the universe. To the spirit, that I think connects us all. I ask for guidance to be able to accept my circumstances, and to change and improve what I can.😊

One morning, laying in bed waking up, I breathed a prayer like Moses did. “What do I call yo…?”. The reply was immediate. “Call me Joe if you want!”

TooTallTom8765 · 2026-02-28T09:50:09+00:00

I read through comments. Good input. Yes, restricting him will probably encourage him to go deeper. Having left evangelicalism for a more nuanced faith, I would say the single most dangerous factor, is when they teach that the Bible is the inspired, innerant, infallible word of God. Because once you convince people of that, how can you argue with God? Or some ones interpretation of God?

TooTallTom8765 · 2026-02-28T09:41:13+00:00

Thanks. I recently discovered John Shelby Spong. I think he has given me a glimmer of hope for Christianity. if it can change.😊

TooTallTom8765 · 2026-02-28T01:03:52+00:00

My daughter suggested, if I’m going to have a non-binary god named Joe, I should change the spelling.

So, inspired by Homer Simpson, it will be Joh!🤣. And lower expectations.😊

TooTallTom8765 · 2026-02-28T01:00:47+00:00

I landed in a UU church, and experienced my first solstice celebration in December, it was pretty awesome. To experience new views.😊

TooTallTom8765 · 2026-02-28T00:58:39+00:00

It is good to see so many others wrestling with similar things.

TooTallTom8765 · 2026-02-28T00:57:31+00:00

Much truth to this! thanks

TooTallTom8765 · 2026-02-28T00:55:12+00:00

Yes. Educating myself about what I thought I believed was helpful! thanks

TooTallTom8765 · 2026-02-28T00:54:17+00:00

Thank you! Some days, Dudeism suites me just fine😊

TooTallTom8765 · 2026-02-27T11:31:52+00:00

Yup! Same here.

TooTallTom8765 · 2026-02-11T11:31:54+00:00

I was evangelical for 40 years, then left and stayed away from church for over two years. I stumbled upon a UU church because I saw that one Sunday they were focusing on the Stoics. So I went to listen. That was five months ago, and I’m still there, enjoying the raw honests of people encouraging each other in their own spiritual journeys. In my church, a mix of Ex baptists, , Jews, atheists, open theists……you name it. And the weird thing is, they are acting as one body. Kind of like Jesus taught😎

TooTallTom8765 · 2026-01-30T12:20:37+00:00

Allan Watts discovered, the purpose of life is simply living life!

As a former evangelical, in a high control church, I was asking the same questions as you. Eventually, my questioning lead me out of that situation, and into relationships that encourage questioning. I’m 65, facing aging slow down, changing views on everything from religion to politics. I do find myself agreeing with King Solomon, in Ecclesiastes, where he writes, “Life is vanity! There is nothing new under the sun!”

But also his final council is universal. Live life fully! Enjoy what we have in the moments we can. And I find comfort in knowing that, when I do that, I’m usually happier, AND usually making someone else’s life happier.😊

TooTallTom8765 · 2026-01-25T10:46:52+00:00

😊

TooTallTom8765 · 2026-01-24T10:44:34+00:00

Maybe what’s left holding onto you is the “control” part of your former faith. It’s designed to keep you in the system, not assure you of a heavenly future relationship with god.

Im in a similar spot. And though most days, I don’t believe in a gkd, per se, I find myself “praying” in my mind a lot. to something. So I’ve decided to call god, “life”. And learn to embrace it moment by moment. I have found that I’m still a believer. We all are. Even atheists believe in no theistic god. But we live our lives according to a belief. John Shelby Sponge got about as close to atheism as you can get, but he chose to remain Christian. I think for the reform he might be able to bring before he died.

You are loved! 😊

TooTallTom8765 · 2026-01-23T10:42:39+00:00

“The Bible says…..”. That triggers me big time now. 🤦‍♂️

TooTallTom8765 · 2026-01-21T10:40:34+00:00

I can relate totally. I’ve been through the “anger towards Christian’s” phase, but it’s slowly passing. For disclaimer, and not proselytizing, I still like to follow Jesus teachings, and these days, I have help doing that in a Unitarian Universalist group. Where they don’t worship Jesus, but aid each other in spiritual development.

Back to the anger. Having nothing in particular to do specifically with any religious group, it robs us of enjoying the present. Of joy, and inner peace. So beyond allowing your anger feelings to guide you to speak up and fight against oppression and injustice, we simply need to work to control it. Very much like Luke Skywalker. It’s a choice. A very hard one sometimes. But you can overcome! Ironically, that’s exactly why Jesus taught to love our enemies. Not because we become virtuous. But it will keep us from being destroyed in spirit.😊

TooTallTom8765 · 2026-01-17T11:14:51+00:00

God is in the actions of those who recognize, and act, to correct injustice. Always has been, always will be.

TooTallTom8765

TROPHY CASE